Well, yesterday was a crappy sort of the day: Trin Trin, my sweet Monster Boxer passed on to the eternal hunting fields (for doggies), so to speak. Stuff like that really messes up my head, and I cried buckets for the annoying, frustrating, insane dog that will now no longer bug me. I find it so strange that a dog with which I basically had to watch my every single step 24/7 (lest you end up with a bite-mark somewhere) could hurt so much to lose. I mean, seriously, she drove me nuts at times, and she spent the majority of her life on a leash because she couldn’t mingle with the pack all that well, but still I loved that monster to pieces…and now she’s gone.
I’m still a little numb, I think, ‘cause through the course of the day (both yesterday and today) I kept having this feeling of, forgetting something, and then realizing that it was Trin Trin who wasn’t bouncing around me.
I mean, now I no longer need to carry the tube (she tended to hang in it every morning for years now) didn’t need to latch her on the leash in the living room, didn’t have to watch out that one of the other dogs didn’t come near her, didn’t need to put a water bowl there, let her out in the lower garden during the afternoon, and all those little things that the monster needed.
As a matter of fact, last night when I came up in my cabin it took me all of ten minutes to remember that I didn’t need to put out an extra bowl for her anymore…which is when I lost it for a moment. It just got a bit too much and I spent about fifteen minutes crying my eyes out. I hate it when that happens, considering it doesn’t help any, my eyes become puffy and I end up with a massive headache that degrades me down to Neanderthal status. I had to take a painkiller for it, which is the first time in almost six months that I need help with a headache, darn it.
Now, if crying was even remotely helpful, I wouldn’t mind all that much, but since it doesn’t, well, blast it! Seriously, it’s not like crying will make Trin Trin feel loved, or anything…for crying out loud, it is just emotions getting tangled up and making me feel miserable longer than is necessary.
It should be enough that I loved the stupid Monster to pieces while she was here…but apparently it doesn’t work that way. Pesky emotions.
Of course, I couldn’t keep it dry either when I sat down and the dogs were sniffing me, and looking a mite confused that Trin Trin wasn’t anywhere to be found. Then it feels even nastier because I know that they sense my sadness and want to comfort me…the sweethearts.
Sorry for ranting a bit here. I find it a rather pleasant way to throw it all out, right here on the Blog and then move on; so, let’s do that. Moving on:
Considering I couldn’t get my brain to function properly (yesterday) I called the writing session of the day (for the, as of yet, untitled story) quits, two hours prior to usual, and headed up to the terrace in front of my cabin to do some work that didn’t require a lot of thought.
In the hours that followed, I built two cabinets (still for the sibs’ rec-room), doors, shelves and everything, that were put in place immediately after completion. Afterwards, once the sibs were civil, after their usual early morning grumpiness, little sister and I headed up to her room to continue with her new floor.
It took a while, a lot of measuring, (hand) sawing and fitting, but in the end we managed to put in the entire floor, minus the borders because by then it was getting too late to continue, right down to the last board. I think that, all tiny leftovers combined make up one last laminated board, which means that we calculated it all to perfection, and didn’t mess up once while putting it in.
What I like about such work is, that for at least seven hours of intense work, I didn’t think of Trin Trin’s passing once…which means that, if I can help it, I will get a lot of work done in the next few days. Getting something good out of such a situation is always a plus.
The night was exceptionally chilly. Only eleven degrees and I was already freezing my butt off. Luckily, later in the day, the sun breaks out again, and gradually the temperatures rise again to a more comfortable level.
So today was another one of preparing a couple more query letters and packages. These are mostly packages by the way. The first batch we sent out were mainly queries and synopsis, now it’s time for the pubs that want to have the first few chapters added to it. Since this takes more time (because for some reason we can’t get the paper size US letter ‘round here, and we need to cut them by hand from A5 sheets) we left these for after we did the letters. I honestly don’t get why the popular size A4 can hit off the wrong note with a potential editor, but apparently appearances matter just as much as the material you’re sending. *sigh* So exhausting.
But the day’s session was successful, we got another handful of envelopes to send out, and then we can finally return to reading and correcting the last few pages of the manuscript.
After several days of going over letters, details, addresses and whatnot, I am actually looking forward to it. It’s a good sign, I think, if you can reread a story over and over again and still find enjoyment in it.
But of course, stuff gets in the way of proofreading. While big brother is cutting paper and printing out stuff, I work on writing more for the untitled story. I’ve got a solid start going now, and I kinda like the fact that I’ve actually got a name for the female lead. Hah. The guy I already had, but the gall…well, sometimes it takes a while for a character to take shape, and considering she wasn’t in the story until today, and was just an abstract idea, it is no big surprise.
What else…well, considering we ran out of ink, we had to postpone the printing and decided that after inside work we would head for town to get new cartridges. First, there was little sister’s floor to finish. Together we managed to put in all the borders, and I gotta say that it looks grand. Almost like she has an entirely new room, rather than just a new floor. I also like it that she’s enjoying it so much; it makes the effort worthwhile.
It took us several hours—measuring and sawing those tiny slats always does—but afterwards it was a job well done for the both of us. Middle sister and little brother were both otherwise occupied (different projects aplenty) and so was big brother who was putting in two sections in the carport for the dog food storage. Those heavy bags keep toppling over, so having enough of that, it was decided that we made separate compartments for them that we can actually shut off against the dogs. There are those who have figured out a way to open the thick plastic bags and just end up standing by one they’ve torn open to feed themselves. Hah.
Soon the afternoon turns into evening, and in the hour before closing time we quickly head to town to get ink cartridges. At a big department store, we first head into the supermarket…where the stupid things are out of stock. So, we get instructed to head for the third floor, where there still might be some left in the big computer section. Success, and with four cartridges, weighing heavy on the ol’ wallet (for some reason the stupid printer won’t work unless it has all colors, whether you’re using them or not, aaargh. Makes me wish back to the day where there were still printers with only one black cartridge) and then get the heck outta there.
Within another hour we’re back home where big brother resumes printing while I go through the Blog, as usual. Yep, and that was about it. Not the most cheery kind, I know, but it can’t all be sunshine and starlight, I guess. Much to my regret reality (still) doesn’t work that way. Hah.
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