Bad evening.

Déjà Vu. I don’t know what the heck is going on, but today seems to be a constant replay of events that I have, at some point experienced in my head before today. Not the day in its totality, but fragments of it. As if someone sliced up the minutes of a lifespan, and then put them together at random, to create a brand “new” day. Aaargh.

It started with the song of the day: “Living Doll” by Cliff Richard and the Young Ones. Oooh, been there done that; gotta move onto something else - oh wait, later on, it switched (my head does that sometimes) to Right Said Fred with “Where do you go to my lovely” I’d already had the pleasure of experience maybe three days before I started to record the song of the day over here. Drat.

Second indicator was Knight II, who graced me with a wake-up call by slamming the bones of his humongous butt into my shoulder blades while I was still blissfully snoozing the morning away. Grrr. Now admittedly, this isn’t an unusual occurrence by any means, but it’s the thought that counts. Hah.

The edit contained certain dialogues between big brother and me, which sounded as if we’d had them before. And the building session we did afterwards…we started on the pillar in the courtyard because at least there was some shade under the roof. So we hauled rocks, made cement by hand, and then put up the foundation that is now up to a foot and a half. It’s looking good, but this too felt like serious Déjà vu; still not strange, since we did build six of the pillars in the past.

Roma’s doing a bit better however, so that is one good thing, since I was dreading having to take little brother’s favorite to the vet so darn sick that she would have to stay. Maybe we get lucky and she won’t even need to stay…knock on wood.

But anyway, after building the pillars we’re hauling more rocks, so we won’t have to go through the hassle of the steps tomorrow, sitting in the shade to enjoy the cool breeze about an hour before dusk, it all felt like something we’d done before. Knight II nipping Barahm in the butt…stupid Dane; here I was looking out for Tallis who rushed past, and next thing I know Barahm is right in the way, getting a serious bite in his flank. Then, while I’m pushing the wheelbarrow through the gate, a bunch of dogs see Gaucho up by the bungalow and pounce. I just barely manage to reach them in time to grab the evildoers and keep them from the poor Afghan until help arrives.

Not the most auspicious day, and in regard to déjà vu, I would have liked a few that were better to experience. Gawd, the fight almost gave me a heart attack, especially since we’re without a car and couldn’t take any of them to the vet.

Once the tools have been cleaned and put away, I decide to take a moment to get the table that stood by the old pool, so I’ll be able to sit on my porch tonight, rather than swelter inside the cabin, and set it up with two chairs, creating a rather cozy spot.

Next, I’ve a quick dip in the pool…and yes, from some odd reason déjà vu strikes again…and head into the house to have dinner. The meal doesn’t fall well at all, and actually comes back up, making me hug the porcelain bowl for a solid ten minutes until my stomach calms down again. Ah, what a great event to share, huh? Felt like the good ol’ days. Hah.

I’m determined not to let it get me down, and set up the computer in the courtyard for a good editing session. While I wait for big brother to finish the repair job he’s doing at our tenant’s place, I decide to get a head start on the edit, and guess what - déjà vu! Aaargh……………………….

Okay, slight interruption in the “flow of consciousness” because little sister came running outside saying that little Roma wasn’t responding. Well, that sure put a damper on the intended editing session. I headed inside, just when little brother came down the stairs, a limp Roma in his arms.
She was placed on the kitchen counter, so we could examine her closely.

She was breathing, but with a quick check it becomes clear that her eyes aren’t responding to light and that her heart is beating rather sluggishly under the shallow breathing.
Some desperate phone calls were made, first a taxi that wasn’t be able to come within an hour at least, then the vet. She was so sorry that she didn’t have a car available, but would be waiting for us at the hospital, when we decided on the spot that big brother would take Roma on the moped and drive her over himself.

We were looking for a way to transport her when it happened, her breathing staggered. I placed my hand on her chest and could feel her head slow in unison with the final breaths she took as slowly life slipped away.

There were tears all over, especially from little brother and sister as the final spasms go through the tiny little body of the Cocker Spaniel on the kitchen counter between us.

Crap!!!!! Crap, crap, and triple crap. Of all the days for this to happen, it has to be in the friggin’ weekend when we don’t have a car. What are the chances of that anyway.

One of the worst things is, it all felt like fucking Déjà vu all over again.