Song of the day: Someone you loved, by Lewis Capaldi. Such a gorgeous song.

Life. It has a way of getting away from you...or at least it does in my case. So strange the way the world has changed, even since the last past here on the blog. As of today we are once again in lockdown, nuts, I tell ya. Totally nuts! But, it is what it is, right? The powers that be make a decision and we must all abide by it. I just can't help but feel bad for all those people who really can't afford this shaite. For the people who suffer because of these lockdowns and are losing everything.

But, the old mantra still counts. I won't care about things I cannot change. It has no use.So, let's see if I can bring y'all up to date to life as it is at the moment. What all has happened since the last time I wrote?

First there was school. I thankfully passed my exams with a respectable average of 9 (out of 10), so that was over and done with. Actually got my diploma last October so I've got that sucker in my pocket at long last. Was nice to see about half of my fellow students again, and to have a bit of a social distanced party with a shot of booze followed by a beer.

Work. Well, we have a forced close now again, but before that I had two lovely months working in the Buffet restaurant again. The formula was different, no more free for all buffet, but a 3 course dining experience instead. Though different from usual (and what I love most doing) it was still a nice challenge...until the corona measures got tightened again, of course,  meaning that our restaurants had to close and we were only allowed to offer take-away to our guests. But that, of course meant that we had too many chefs in the kitchen. So what does that leave for Sammie, you might wonder. Well, luckily I can be bumped to TD, meaning I get to help big brother out with the hated morning shifts.

The 4:20 wake up call is pretty much killing me, but work is work...or at least it was, considering things will change again now with the new lockdown. I might get lucky and won't need to start at 6 am until January, which should be awesome. I don't mind work, in any shape or form, but I do hate the early morning. Ha. We'll see how that goes.

Had friends over for dinner the other day. I miss cooking special stuff, so it was the perfect occasion to have some fun in the kitchen. Decided on three courses that started with a lovely fresh pumpkin soup decorated with fresh herbs and a blot of cream cheese in the center. The main course was a lovely experiment of red beet risotto topped by a bit of Parmesan. This dish had strips of veggies on the side and a yellow creamy sauce with saffron and rose. Last but not least was a strawberry tartlet made from scratch with a bit of whipped cream on top. Was a wonderful evening with friends and good food, so that was a successful evening in my book.

Been experimenting with bread, partly because I am playing with the idea of starting to do some kind of catering, or food take away on the side. I already have several people interested in my vegetable bread, which would be great if I can get regular orders for that in the future. They would be more interested in seasonal veggies, though, so that meant I had to do some experimenting. Ended up with 3 new recipes from that. One with cauliflower and carrot. One of three types of cabbage, and one with pumpkin and parsnips. Definitely fun to try, and there might even be a restaurant interested in it, so I will keep you posted on that.

As for Mr. Whitney, the absolute gorgeous fella (aka golden retriever) I adopted this spring is still with us. He's amazing. Such good company and hardly ever a bother. He's adjusted well to his new life with us, absolutely loving our 3x daily walks, and enjoying his very own home-made food. He's no longer skinny. He's got muscles now and his confidence is still improving daily. He's such a marvelous addition to our lives, I can barely remember a time when he wasn't here. He's been making sure that we go on plenty of walks, which is of course very good for us since going to the gym isn't actually in the realm of possibilities at the moment.

As for the house. My...our lovely house. We got quite a bit done in the months that have passed since my last blog. First of, we have upgraded our electrical system, meaning that now we can have a proper kitchen when the time is right. Added to that all the walls in the living areas that had to go out are out, so we could put in new floors in the kitchen, the office and the living room. Which makes sooooooo much of a difference. No more cold tiles under my feet, not to mention that the first 3 floors are so much more spacious now. It is absolutely awesome. Basically we now have the house's base exactly the way we want it. Sure, we'll have to remodel the kitchen, still, and the bathroom, a shed, and the garage, but there's no rush. It's all very livable until we've got some savings to do them proper. Right now I have added a kitchen island that gives me at least enough work space, and painted everything that needed painting, too, so let's see how things go.

Dealing with mom's passing is a sometimes it's okay, sometimes it still hits me by surprise, kind of thing. Sometimes I can still not believe it, and now that we are dealing with the aftermath of the house in Spain and such, it is very much back in my mind, I fear. I wish it wasn't, and yes I am working at letting it go and accepting it, but still, it isn't easy. Alas.

It has been slow on the writing front, but I have started on a new book because I needed something new, something different, so guess what. I am writing a paranormal/horror/thriller. I kid you not. We've got zombie killers and all that jazz. So much fun to do. Got over 11k words now, so I'm pretty pleased about that. Will be getting a couple of the older manuscripts out of the dust piles so we can start sending them out in the near future, but until then I'm having fun doing the creative thing again.

Well, that's about it for today, I guess. Hope everyone is doing alright and is keeping safe. I'll be back...

Another update

So yeah, it has been a while, but life has been quite busy ever since that first week of the coronacrisis. You're not going to believe this, but I moved house. Yes, sir, I did. An opportunity arose (yes, partially due to the crisis. Just few less vultures like ourselves, out there, looking for a place to live.) We swooped and scooped at the just the right moment, apparently.
It is a lovely place, a stonethrow away from the woods (yay) and technically due to a split level design, with seven floor. Awesome! More than enough space for big brother and me, which was a thing we worried about. Anti-squattig spoiled us in regards to space, but this one hit us both as just right.
In fact, despite there being quite a few things that would need work, I had "yes, this one!" from the moment I walked in. It, the house, and the area just felt like home for the first time in a long, looooong time.

It wasn't a sure thing. A lot of stuff got harder now with the crisis. We had to meet certain requirements (that we wouldn't have been able to meet just a week later) but in the end it all worked out. The house is ours, permanently. Woohoo. Such a relief, especially since the anti-squatting house was starting to look like it was drawing closer to the end. Not that we had to leave yet. We probably could have stayed another year, or so, but time was running out with the roads coming closer and the state of the house becoming less "solid" so to speak. Apparently we were right on time, too, considering the new people that moved in, had a B&E just a week after we moved out. How's that for weird?

Anyway, school has been a pain. I would like to say that I have been enjoying myself, and that I was in a positive state of mind about the whole thing, especially because I passed all my tests so far with decent grades, but I'm not. I don't know what's causing it, really, but right now I just want to get it over with. I need to do my last exam, a test of adequacy, or some such, and right now it just feels like this massive thing, while all it is, is cooking, really. It's not all that complicated, and yet somehow it has turned into some sort of mountain. Grrr

Anyway, this Tuesday is my last exam, so keep yer fingers crossed that I manage to make it, and get it all over with. I sure can't wait for that to happen. I can't say that I liked the experience a lot, but I did well on my dutch and english, so I got something out of it, at least.

Work has been very slow. After having been shut down for more than 2 months, we were allowed to partially open, meaning there is a little bit more than just maintenance going on, but still it is sad to see so little happen there. It has given me ample time to move house, of course, and that is good, but I miss the work, the purpose of it, so I hope that that picks up some, at least, next month where we will be allowed to open with all the facilities, for at least half our usual guests. Big brother was a lot luckier than me in the work department. He's been working more than ever. Son of a gun. So jealous. I only got to help out in the garden from time to time.*sigh *

Books...well, it has been incredibly slow in that regard, too. First househunting, then actually getting it and moving there. Gawd, the move was so much work. Makes me happy that we won't have to do that anytime soon. It put writing on a back burner even though we did manage to send a manuscript proposal out to our publisher in-between everything.

Sad news...yeah. Mom, after struggling with cancer for many years now, passed away in March, just days after her birthday. Even though we saw it coming for a long time, it hit us all rather hard. She was having trouble breathing for some time, and she was starting to have small seizures, meaning that, despite the corona crisis, the sibs were forced to call an ambulance and have her committed to hospital. A bad time for that, but necessary. She was there almost a week, and got worse, considering one lung had filled with more than a liter of liquid, which they drained and cause a bad pain in her chest. Apparently she had a small heartattack the night after that, and passed away the following morning.
Tests showed that she didn't have corona, not that that would have changed anything, of course, but it made her death more sour, since Spain was in in complete lockdown and little sister wasn't even allowed to visit her in her final days. Nor were the sibs allowed to be at her funeral, which made them decide for a cremation.

Despite having prepped myself for the event a long time, it hit me hard, I'll admit. I cried more than I expected, and not being able to work throughout that time, didn't help in the least. It would have been nice not to have had so much time to think about it all, and though I have worked my way through it, I still get hit by it sometimes, when I realize that she won't be able to read this blog anymore, for instance, or that she is not checking out my facebook page, or that we won't ever see each other again. That makes me sad.

Stress wise things haven'g been much better. It impeded on my sleep, so I have been getting too little of that lately, explaining a consistent tiredness. Will need to work on that, but okay, whatever. The only solution to that is just getting more sleep, so I will.

Positive news. A new family member. Since I now have a permanent home again, I adopted a dog. A gorgeous 3 year old Golden retriever from an animal shelter in dire need of a home. Mr. Whitney. He's so lovely, reminding me of how much I missed having a dog afoot. Sure, he has some baggage that he needs to overcome, and he needs to gain some weight and a healthy fur shine to compensate the bad nutrition he used to get, but...well, the pictures speak for themselves. He's awesome! And so quickly gaining the much needed confidence.

*Sigh *
Right now, I am working on letting things go again. On focusing on recovering my equilibrium and basically getting my life in order while I plan on all the wonderful things I'm going to do on my new house. There are walls to take out, a new bathroom and halfbath to install, a garden to set up, and of course a kitchen to plan. So many of those. I can hardly wait...

1st week lockdown COVID 19

Song of the day: "The end of the world" by REM. It's as good a song as any at this point in time, I guess.

Time for an update. Not the best of times, I fear, but strange times for sure, what with the Corona Virus outbreak that has been sweeping over the world for several weeks. The Netherlands has gone into a tentative shutdown (social distancing), after the virus has started raging through especially Italy and Spain, where it has been the worst in Europe, so far.

So how has the virus affected us...well, no zombies yet, so that is definitely a plus. The way I figure, as long as the zombie's don't come shambling through the streets, we'll do just fine. Other than that, work has shut down until at least the 6th of April, just like all non-essential businesses through-out the country.

Although I can manage just fine to keep busy, in fact, in regards to location, this house is more luxurious for a lockdown than most. Heck, I've stayed in worse places than this myself. It might not be fun, but I can survive a month or two with this quarantine without losing my mind. It won't be fun, it won't be nice, or anything, but I'll be fine in the end.
That doesn't take away that the atmosphere in general isn't completely whacky. I mean, there are hoarders, there are those who don't believe that the virus is as bad, some don't care one way or other, and there are those who are scared out of their minds. I can get my head around most of them, of course, but considering we, the people in general, are not in charge of how things are handled, it doesn't matter one way or other how I feel about the matter, I suppose. Most of us are just along for the ride for now.

Well, guess it is time to catch you up a little on how life has been progressing lately. Work and school had been going pretty well...well, a little bit more of the first and less of the latter, which had made me behind on my studies up until the latest disaster hit.

Before the outbreak we had started looking for a permanent place to live, rather than the anti-squatting gig, but that is now starting to look like we'll have to put that on hold for the time being...especially because we have no idea about how things are going to go. For now we're going to be paid one way or other, but that won't hold indefinitely, of course. The company is not made of money, and if this is going to continue on as long as everyone fears...well, then we have a problem.

School, regretfully has not been completely cancelled. Last Tuesday was supposed to be my first theory test, but this was cancelled, of course, because this was the third of fourth day after the lockdown  and everyone was scrambling. Now, it turns out lessons are going to continue digitally. On the one hand that is great, on the other I am trying to find the rest inside my head to pick up writing again. Bad enough the world at large is hammering at me to pay attention to reality, having to worry about school in the meantime is not exactly my idea of fun. But we'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll be grateful for the distraction.

Unlike me, big brother gets to work still, for now. Despite the sauna being closed for guests, behind the scenes folks are putting in a lot of effort to catch up on maintenance that has been postponed time and again due it being too busy. So in that regard big brother is happy, because he can finally get to stuff that he's been forced to put off over and over again.

Personally I will be spending a morning at work, too, because the kitchen staff have been asked to volunteer with the cleanup of the big filters and such above the cooking areas. The other half of the chefs are going to tackle the big fridges on a different day, so we won't exceed the numbers that are allowed to get together. Nice to be able to catch up with everyone, and since quite a few are going stir-crazy sitting at home, it's also a necessary measure. It will be nice to go out for something other than basic groceries.

But back to before the outbreak: It's been a sad period actually. A very good friend died...the one I mentioned with Acute Leukemia. Regretfully he passed away before I was able to see him again. He kept postponing the visit, saying he wanted to wait until he felt a little stronger, a little better. Alas it never came to that. About three weeks ago the doctors told him there was nothing left to do for him, and a few days later he passed away in his home. His death hit me harder than I expected. Especially because I got the news at work, and of course had to ask for time off so I could go to his memorial. Almost burst out in tears right before my chef, and that is just friggin' unprofessional and embarrassing.

Be that as it may, we did go to the memorial, which was a very bohemian affair, much like he would have loved. Spoke and hugged a long time with his girlfriend of thirty plus years, and listened to the performance of his band involving, (brace yourselves, he was a sound artist) vacuum cleaners. A special evening on the cusp of the Corona outbreak.

Another bit of bad news, it's in the air, I'm telling ya, is that Tenant has taken a turn for the worse. Back when she had her stroke in Spain, the swallowing mechanism in her throat started to have trouble. Over the years this has gotten worse, but lately it got so bad she got a pneumonia due to getting stuff in her lungs, like food and drink. This meaning that she'd have terrible coughing fits. This, in the end, has led to her no longer being able to drink or eat, and since she finds a probe tube straight into her stomach so very irritating that she keeps pulling it out, she is slowly dying. What a horrible way to go! So strange to imagine that with everything moderns science can do these days, there is no solution for something like this. It baffles me at times.
Now if all that isn't bad enough, due to the Corona virus senior homes and nursing homes are in a complete shutdown. Hers included, so rather than have many, many people coming over to visit her in these final stages of her life, there are only a handful that are only allowed to enter one at a time, wearing full protective gear like gloves and such. So horrible if you really thing about it. Luckily they have started her on morphine now, so that should make her less aware of it all...I hope.

On the nicer part, had a visit with my dad last week. He and my stepmom had a lot of leftover tree trunks and such lying about in their yard, which needed to be dragged out to the curb so they could be picked up. A nice afternoon in the sunshine, dragging some odd 3000 lbs of wood while big brother attacked the trunks with the rented chainsaw. Poor thing practically gave the spirit in the end. So much wiry wood. Was good to see dad, although his appearances worry me a little. He's looking tired, and grayish almost. Poor guy really works too hard. Just hope that he doesn't get the virus, because that just might be too much for him.

Studying: Well, I had gotten nicely up to date due to the fact that my chef was trying to bring my hours down a little so they could work in new people, but now with the virus in full swing I am feeling distracted and completely not in the mood to focus on those studies. Coming tuesday we were supposed to have had our first practical exam, which would have involved making a 3 course lunch at school, but I'm not sure if that is going to happen anytime soon if our troubles are going to follow the example of Italy even remotely. Today they had their highest death-tole of almost 800. This means that the Netherlands is bracing itself. So surreal.
It doesn't mean that I won't try, of course, I'm just complaining a little here.

Still working on two individual manuscripts. Commanding Morgan, the prequel to Girl in the Mist, and tentatively called Girl from the Past for now, has its proposal practically done. And Lost Soul is practically through its first edit, meaning that big brother and I can both start reading through it, working out the kinks and such. I am looking forward to this, and if the quarantine is going to happen, that is definitely going to help to get us to sit down and get it done.

The house, well, I got that pretty much in order now. haha Would be weird if it wouldn't be, after more than 8 days into self-isolating. Embarrassing too. Is nice to have it all sorted, though. Though I tend to keep things up, having been busy so much that past few months, I had gotten a little bit behind. Added to that, i have completely thrown around the living room, which led to a hilarious moment later in the evening, two hours after big brother arrived, walking around, eating his dinner, when he suddenly said, "hey you changed it." Seriously, I almost peed my pants, laughing so hard. I'd deliberately not said anything, wondering how long it would take, but no way did I expect it would take him that long. Gawd, I haven't laughed that hard in ages...felt good. As to why I changed it? Well, I figured with the present situation being this severe, a change would be a good thing for my state of mind, at least.

Well, that' it for now, I guess. I will try to keep you posted, and if I can't feel free to look me up on Facebook.

Back in January

Song of the day: “Someone you loved” by Lewis Capaldi, such a gorgeous song, although it is incredibly sad. Sometimes I find it really relatable, for some reason…but then, admittedly those are my bad days.

Well, life has been busy as usual. The time gets away from me more often than not, and the fact that I work, usually, a minimum of four days a week doesn’t help much in that regard. It seems at the moment that I am only working and going to school, which is ridiculous, of course. There are still two days, off (even though I usually spend some time of those on homework) and infrequent attempts at working on the books. It doesn’t always work, and we are not going fast, but steady and slow at least.

The book, Lost Soul has been finished. At least the writing has. Did that a while ago, despite everything going on. It felt good to finish the story, especially because it is so dark and sad. That certainly didn’t improve my overall mood, despite loving the story. The character is just such a tortured soul, which makes the title rather fitting, in my opinion. It was high intensity, dark and painful, which makes for an excellent combo, when we’re talking psychological thrillers, right?

Work. Well, I seem to be doing it right. Takes effort and time, and there are times that my friggin’ feet kill me at the end of the day, but I get satisfaction from doing it right. The challenge is to get all the parts done proper without forgetting the important stuff, keeping track and basically make things run smoothly. But that’s okay. I know the importance of a good atmosphere, and work hard at that, which pays off most times. I have been doing a lot of sushi (a rather new skill, still) which means I get to practise new tastes, styles and basically anything that I hadn’t thought of before, simply because personally I am not a sushi person. Still, it’s a good challenge.

Christmas came and went, and though I worked from the second day of Christmas, almost straight through to the new year, it was a quiet time, without much, if any obligations. Instead we visited family on the 28^th, so we could celebrate big brother’s birthday too.

Also joined in the catering of a big event at a dolphinarium for a day. This meant prepping food for more than 1100 people. Very interesting, if tiring, and a good experience to have. There was a nice bunch of kids working there, needing some calming experienced guidance, which we managed to supply. It was long day, and I didn’t get to see any dolphins, which I would have liked. Alas, only work.

My birthday came and went. The actual day was spent at work, meaning that folks sang happy birthday, of course, which felt a tad awkward, yet sweet at the same time. Instead of celebrating on the day, I did a dinner party a week later, which was a big success. Had about a dozen people come over, and we had this big Italian style, big table dinner, with everyone talking and laughing. I enjoyed that tremendously.

There was family, there were friends…what more can you ask for, right? Had a lovely four course menu that involved a nice zucchini cream soup, an Asian style spinach, grilled vegetable, satay salad, followed by stuffed peppers, pastry zucchini roses, linguini with a parmesan, cream and lemon sauce, with a dessert of real hung yogurt with saffron and mango. It was absolutely awesome, and I had just  enough for everyone, meaning we weren’t left with a massive amount of leftovers, which I had feared…of course that meant that I hardly had any food for the following workdays,  but in such cases grilled cheese sandwiches with veggies did the trick.

Heard that a very good friend of mine has been diagnosed with acute, malignant leukaemia, for which he has been hospitalized. He is now going through his second round of aggressive chem therapy, but the prognosis is very bleak. This saddens me. This friend always reminds me of grandpa, so that is doubly sad. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that something awesome happens for him, right.

I have not been liking winter. Despite a lack of snow, I’ve been finding it cold, and yes, I have bagged my first sickness with a bad nose cold, that followed up a just as bad throat ache that went straight up my nose two days later. The only thing I am grateful for is that it didn’t sink into my lungs this time.

Studies are…elaborate. I’m not sure if they’re supposed to be, just that I seem to take a lot of time with them. The assignments, the reading. I hadn’t realized the extent of them until this who experience. Did quite a few already, and I did my first tests, several of which I passed already, thankfully. The dutch seems to be less of a problem, but I’m pretty sure I flunked math…but we’ll see. Maybe I did better than I expected…I doubt it, but hope springs eternal, I guess.

The big wall in the living room is finally painted. So much better now. So much more light, and so much prettier to boot. I might alter more there in the near future, but for now it is rather comfy…and looking good, because we passed two house inspection, maybe even three, since the last blog. A relief that, even though the inspections are more frequent these days. I think the company has changed its policies.

Went to the cinema recently. The Joker. Considering we had gotten a cinema gift certificate it seemed like the right thing to do. A fascinating movie. A little slow maybe, and dark, but the acting was incredibly powerful. Also, it was a fun night out. We don’t get many of those.

Although there have been some cooking sprees of late, for the most part cooking is something I do at work and in bulk for the days that I work. This means that I don’t have a lot of pretty images to post. Instead they have been sustenance, which is important too.

There are some changes coming, but they are not as such that I can share them yet, regretfully. Still, they ought to be interesting, or at least I hope so.

And this makes for today’s blog. It is late, and I have an appointment in the morning. Added to that I had school today and that took longer than usual since I was chef de partie for desserts today. It went well enough from my perspective. All the guests were content, and that’s what counts.

But now it is time for bed. I’ll be back.