First off, let me inform you that neither Sally, nor Tenant are living with us anymore. What with all the trouble going on, it just wasn’t possible. It is sad, it is hard, but even Samaya’s world is not untouchable by reality, is it?
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s get this a little in sequence, so that I don’t drive y’all bonkers with incoherent explanation. Last time I mentioned anything Tenant was being taken away by social services from the hospital and we were not being kept informed where she was taken.
Well, first of all, I contacted tenant’s daughter who immediately got to work on her side of the globe by contacting the embassy. I have to say I was properly impressed, because within several days she was able to inform us that tenant had been placed in a home for older folks in a nearby village, and even though we were not allowed to go and visit, it was a relief to know that at least she hadn’t disappeared off the face of the earth.
But anyway, while we were waiting for some sort of resolution about tenant, we were getting to hear more and more rumors that social services were hard at work to take Sally away from this, according to them, “horrible place”. *Gapes* Guess they don’t like dogs, or something. I would like to say I don’t hold that opinion against them, but I do. *sigh*
So, the news of that was starting to become more and more persistent, and Sally, who doesn’t have contact with her family at all and therefore would be lost in the Spanish healthcare system forever, was getting more frightened every minute. Action had to be taken, and what followed very much felt like some sort of Mission Impossible. With her certainty that she didn’t want to stay in Spain if she couldn’t stay home, she wanted to return to her country of origin, so this would have to be arranged.
It all started on a Friday. Big brother and I were at Spanish class, when the phone rang, and the decision had to be made. Tenant’s daughter had heard through the embassy was “very concerned”• about that “poor woman” and that they were taking steps. Dismissing lessons, I contacted Sally, and then started phoning. A friend of hers, and ours in her country of origin would be able to give her a place to stay, and Cousin Ed would travel with her by plane, just as soon as we could arrange a ticket. Lots of phone calls passed, friends were called, plans put in motion, but the first thing that had to be done was get Sally out of our place to some place safe where social services wouldn’t be able to pick her up before she got safely away.
Our boss, who we were building the pool for, was still in her own country, and we would be allowed to use her house as a shelter Sally. We finished our lesson, headed home where cousin Ed was already hard at work gathering whatever she and Sally would need for their trip and stay in the north. I packed up food for them, we filled up the Land Rover and were gone within four hours of planning the whole thing.
Cousin Ed was a mess, of course, not unexpectedly, seeing as she would be the one who’d have to take care of Sally during the flight, and then when they arrived on location and for however long it would take to get her settled there with the proper care. The fact that Cousin Ed had to leave behind her dogs didn’t much improve on the matter.
But anyway, I drove them to our boss’ place, got them set up for the night, and then rushed back home so I could help big brother arrange for tickets, and gathering whatever had been forgotten in the mad dash of getting everything packed.
We all got very little sleep in those days, four hours per night at most, and food just didn’t go down properly, so was skipped in most cases. Lost several pounds in fact. Not good. Were up early the next morning, working day, and helping Sally and Ed prepare for their trip were top priority, of course. For the most part I was splitting myself up by making concrete for big brother and helping get organized, while in the meantime we had to confirm the tickets and have a serious sit-down with Sally, who had somehow managed to turn everything around in her head and thought that all she had to do to get social services off her back was claim that she was a Dutch citizen and that if she wanted to remain the rest of her days with her only friends, that was her business. Was hard having to tell her that she couldn’t stay with us because they were going to come and get her, and that if she stayed she would have to stay in a home. That got her even more confused, because she couldn’t understand why anyone would want to do that to her when her wishes were so clear, so in the end I just started to reassure her by keeping it simple. She was going home to visit an old friend and see her family after many, many years. When I repeated that several times she calmed down enough to get cheery again.
While working grandpa phoned that a man in a suit had come to the gate asking for Sally, and only after grandpa said to him that she wasn’t there and had returned to her country of origin, did the guy leave. Talk about just in time.
We managed to get the last-minute tickets just barely, seeing as only afterward we discovered that you’re supposed to inform the airport of a disabled person two days prior to departure. Lots of phone calls to arrange that, of course, and finally we go the get-go. We would have to be at the airport at ten to six, and Sally still had to be cleaned and dressed for the trip.
By the time we finally were ready to get her into the car she was tired, and less than cooperative. In the end big brother literally had to lift her into the front seat, with her crying like a child. That was hard, too. Luckily, she calmed down considerably during the long drive to the airport, (had to drop Knight II and Niobe at home and pick up a couple of sweaters for the ladies) where Cousin Ed, stressed like the rest of us, rushed inside to get a wheelchair for Sally.
We were running late, but no matter. Sally was dressed nicely, and since Cousin Ed could already start signing them in, I took Sally to the bathroom where we wrapped her arms and legs in clean bandages. What with her fragile skin it just wasn’t smart to have her in the plane unprotected. She looked downright regal afterward, and calm, thankfully.
Service at Málaga Airport was nothing if not stellar. Due to the wheelchair, we were helped through the entire procedure by a young man who was able to tell us all sorts of fun stuff of what all went on at the airport. Then saying goodbye was there, we were all a little choked up, I think, not to mention tense. For some reason I kept having this image of that social services woman coming running at us, dragging Sally off. But she didn’t, and I told Sally that she was going to have a wonderful trip, and that hopefully we would see each other again soon. I doubt she believed me.
Goodbyes were said to Cousin Ed as well, and promises made to take good care of her doggies before the two of them disappeared through the gates, leaving big brother and me to walk the two odd miles to where he had managed to park the car.
Had a good cry on our way there. All the tension, stress, not to mention that my foot was effing killing me, just came pouring out, and I was a mess. But we managed, and since by the time departure time passed Cousin Ed hadn’t phoned that something had gone wrong, we felt infinite relief that it had all worked out, and that our boss would be waiting for them in the Netherlands to drive them to Sally’s friend.
Her arrival:
So we headed back to work, finished the day’s work on the floor in the final hours of daylight. Actually managed our hours, even with everything going on. That knowledge almost made me giddy. Got a message at midnight that Sally and Cousin Ed arrived save and sound and were on their way to Sally’s friend. A big relief, that.
The next morning, again after way too little (albeit deep) sleep, we got to work on some serious cleaning throughout the house and rooms. It was a mess and having had social services seeing us at our worst didn’t feel good at all. Added to that, since one of the many complaints that we had gotten from social services was a “hygiene” problem, we decided to transfer all of tenant’s stuff to Sally’s little cabin, so she’d be in a new, and after a good scrubbing, extremely clean house.
Still not enough eating for me by then, but what the heck, I’ve got reserves, right? *snort* Did manage some writing that evening (nothing like a little escapism in hard times) but not much, seeing as we had to go to bed early so we’d be able to go to work early the next morning.
Were setting up the pool, and in-between cleaning the house, when Tenant’s daughter finally called with news. She’d had conference calls with the embassy, social services and the home where tenant was at, and since social services said that they’d had a doctor’s declaration that tenant wasn’t fit to make her own decisions, and that that declaration was at the home, which the home denied, we could go and pick her up just as soon as I could arrange it. So I was on the phone again, spoke with the director, and got permission to come pick her up at eight. That meant that big brother and I had little time to get everything done, in fact, since the pool was only halfway up, we weren’t going to make it unless big brother stayed there while I rushed home where little brother would be waiting with the Opel so we could go to the home and pick tenant up in time.
Arrived at home on the dot, headed out almost immediately, and then got desperately lost in the small tourist town that I hadn’t been to in more than ten years, I think. Arrived at the home exactly two minutes before closing time, which I basically fell into, out of breath while little brother got behind the wheel and got the car around to the right side of the road.
They weren’t unfriendly there, didn’t make a fuss either, but tenant looked horrible when I saw her sitting there in her chair, her chest concave and her face barely changing when she saw me come toward her. She was swearing under her breath, looking less than a shadow of herself, and I hated having to leave her there for even a few more minutes just so I could handle the paperwork. Got her out of there as fast as I could, ten minutes tops, and literally lifted her into the car, rather than risk having to linger there longer. I would have had a doctor come by immediately, but this is Spain and none of the good ones were willing to come out, so instead we made an appointment with a good one in Marbella the next day.
Middle sister helped me get tenant settled for the night. She wasn’t well, and vomited several times, meaning that we couldn’t leave her alone.
I had another little breakdown then, talked with big brother who suggested that it might be a good idea to listen to mom’s advise and not come out to pick him up at work at midnight while I was in such a state. Though not entirely willing to have a forced standstill (I have found that waiting drives me bonkers, while action at least keeps me from panicking) I agreed, and left middle sister to sit with tenant while I went down to write to tenant’s daughter about all that had occurred. I greeted the dogs, choked down a sandwich, and then went to bed to sleep for a few hours.
Barely caught four hours before I woke, wide-awake and one hump of tension once more. I checked on tenant, who was sleeping peacefully. Middle sister had stayed with her until about two in the morning. Grandpa had food waiting for me, though, and we ate it before I headed out to work where big brother had already started on hanging the liner of the pool.
We worked on that, and on cleaning the house, and were just about to pack up for the day when mom phoned informing me that social services was at the gate with the cops, demanding to have both Sally and Tenant. I heard most of it through the phone, and got to phoning tenant’s daughter once more, who told me that she wouldn’t object to a lawyer now, and if I would call him to help out in this case. I spoke to the embassy, promised to keep them informed, and arrived home to find that the cop and social worker had left after speaking to the lawyer on the phone.
The day wasn’t over yet, tenant had her appointment with the doctor in Marbella, so middle sister had already dressed her, and they were waiting for us to get her in the car and drive her there. That was a pleasant experience for a change. The doctor was Spanish, but his wife and assistant Dutch, which was good for tenant. They were soooo helpful, giving all sorts of helpful tips, and being very understanding about everything that had happened. We left there much reassured, and with a handful of prescriptions which we filled on our way home.
Tenant settled for the night, I cooked a late supper (barely ate half) and tried to get some writing done after keeping tenant’s daughter updated. Was in bed after one, and more than a little exhausted, yet I didn’t sleep well at all.
Woke by the phone. Grandpa told me there were four men at the gate, along with a police officer, and that at eight thirty in the morning. I went up there in my pajamas, and slowly the rest of the family followed too while we tried to figure out what was wrong NOW. They were demanding admittance and threatened that if we insisted on waiting for the court order that was underway, we would all be taken off. Seriously, our lawyer says that we’re being harassed for sure, in particular since normal police would not be sent for this sort of errands, and the last time that there was a Guardia Civil, he was in an old uniform, normal shoes and without a hat…a definite no-no, apparently. But what the heck do we know, right?
Armed with cameras, a cop car, and a card for city hall they were starting to look official. I asked little brother to take a photograph of the identity card we were shown (only one) but the guys almost when apeshit over that, saying that that was absolutely not allowed. So I phoned city hall, asking for them to confirm if they were really city hall workers. The woman wanted to speak to the one who said he was from city hall, and he started talking all quietly on the phone, clearly explaining stuff to her. Afterward she confirmed that he worked for city hall, but I should have asked her if she could describe him. Because for all I know he told her he was working for a special branch of city hall and had permission of the mayor himself to be there. *sigh*
But anyway, they were all over the property, took pictures and everything, and probably saw stuff they weren’t supposed to see. That court order never arrived, no official paperwork was handed over, and our lawyer says we were screwed over royally. Tell me about it.
But we couldn’t risk it anymore. All that stress wasn’t good for tenant, so I started making phone calls trying to find a place where she would be safe while we try to sort this stuff out. Phoned the doctor we went to, and they suggested a rather good home in Puerto Banus, but when I called they were way too expensive. So I phoned a place nearby and had just about arranged a spot there when I got a phone call from the first choice place where folks spoke Dutch, and the residents were international to say the least, and spoke to this very nice woman who explained that she was free to offer me a special deal for tenant. Something that was only slightly more expensive than the place closer to us. It would be tough to pay, but if we pitch in some of our own funds (who needs food anyway) it should be doable.
Then the hard part started. I had to explain it all to tenant who was still very weak and stressed from all the ongoing. She wasn’t pleased, in fact we both ended up in tears while I started packing her bags, and asked her if she could please be strong and go there so she could be safe and we wouldn’t have to worry about her. In the end she agreed and we packed up the Land Rover and started on our way…only to have the gear box stall on us. I kid you effing not, we had just gone up the drive sweep when the stupid thing started to not work. Aaaaargh.
Drove a couple of miles, and then decided that we couldn’t risk the long trip. So I phoned little brother (my poor phone almost went into apoplexy in those days) who drove the Opel to a meeting point where I could hop in to drive him home, while big brother drove tenant carefully to town in the Land Rover. He was waiting for me there, close to the garage where we would drop it off, (and give an explanation about what was happening. They thought it insane, too) and we transferred tenant to the Opel so we’d be on our way.
The home was a pleasant surprise. Basically in Puerto Banus, in a rather nice area, I must admit, we were let into a private parking area and welcomed by a very kind woman who saw to everything. We explained the entire situation, and their social worker would contact all the right places to let them know that tenant was safely placed in the home and everybody’s butt covered. I was much reassured by the operation there. Very professional, very good staff, and she would be sharing a spacious apartment with another lady. It wasn’t nice leaving her there, but she was tired and in good hands, I figured.
The next day, we packed up early (the Opel this time) took grandpa along so he could help big brother, and headed for work for our final day at the pool, yard and house. Did cleaning, and then left big brother and grandpa to it while I headed for Spanish class. Maria offered to help out with the translating of anything that needed translating, and I had to explain everything to her, of course. Gawd, I was so tired that there actually were times when I couldn’t form a single coherent thought in my head. But anyway, we got it done in about three hours; reading through the judicial statement our lawyer had put together, and translating a letter of explanation about tenant’s relationship with my family.
Didn’t arrive at work until later in the afternoon, but still we managed to get everything done. The pool done, the rooms we’d used cleaned, and sheets and towels washed…not to mention the thank-you gift for having been allowed to use the house.
Were late getting home. Heard from Cousin Ed that medical care is better taken care of there, and that nurses would be arriving in the morning to take care of Sally’s thrombosis and her skin. Regretfully her friend’s place is not ideal for a woman with Sally’s lack of mobility. To go to the shower they need to go along the outside of the house, and basically they are living in the living room. But that can’t be helped until they get an adjusted apartment from city hall. Such things take time.
There was still much to do when we came home, but we did manage to get to bed on time, at least.
Was a busy day the next day. Had the vet come over and finish the complete vaccinations of the dogs, which we had planned to separate in two to three times to manage funds better, but alas, it was not to be. What with city hall having been alerted, we didn’t want to risk the dogs. Spent the rest of the afternoon finishing filling in all the necessary bits in the passports and then went to Puerto Banus to visit with tenant.
She was miserable as heck, but she had spunk for the first time in ages, so I wasn’t too worried. She hates it there, she says, but the way she was acting, I couldn’t say that it was bad for her. There were many complaints (I get those, here she is used to being with us wherever we are busy at that time, while there she has to adhere to the rules and schedules of a rather big institution) but she was stronger, and in the end did understand that she was better off there until stuff is sorted out.
Once we got back, big brother had to go out again, this time with the vet assistant, who was kind enough to offer to translate for mom, while she went to the justice department in town and filed an official complaint about the ongoing mess.
Had a few busy days, mostly sorting through our storage. Basically we’re tossing everything that isn’t absolutely necessary, if only to show that we are willing to make changes for tenant, but I fear that it will have little use at this point. Government hardly ever changes its mind, does it?
On the 19th tenant had an appointment at the hospital for her catheter, so I arranged that I could take her there. Had to arrange stuff for Sally too, so that wasn’t too big a problem. Of course, after waiting for half an hour, we were let into a doctor’s office, who then told us the same story of how to treat the kidney stones, and then said we had to make an appointment to have the catheter checked at some other time. That’s what that day’s appointment was for, the twat! *sigh*
Took tenant for coffee to Funny Beach afterward, which she seemed to enjoy at least. I took that opportunity to say my goodbyes and explain a little what was happening…and was pleasantly surprised when suddenly my phone rang with a guy asking me if I was still interested in a job I’d applied to weeks ago, but hadn’t heard of. He asked if, even though he had never considered hiring two people for a single job (I’d applied for big brother and myself because we’re looking for part time work), big brother and I could come by that evening and meet with him. We agreed, of course, brought tenant back to the home, said our goodbyes while settling her in the dining room, and then rushed back down the coast.
Directions were good enough for me to be able to figure out where to go, and we arrived at the interview right on time. Had a long talk, got explained what all was involved and were seriously daunted since the stuff he explained sounded more suited for three folks, rather than two, let alone one, but he thought he would able to meet our payment, and would get back to us. We’d meet him again the next day, and immediately fix a couple of water tubes in his yard, as a sort of test.
The next day we arrived bright and early, did the job, and then went through the entire list of responsibilities involving the man’s twenty dogs, and maintaining the yard, patio and garage, for not a bad fee, just not what we expected for the hours we’d need to invest. So he suggested we think about it long and hard, which we did, and when we went by there the next day to give him our decision, we had to say no. It just wouldn’t be doable to have me do the morning shifts, big brother the evening shifts, all the commuting, the hours that would be lost with us being unable to work on the books, etc. etc. We’d just have to figure it out.
The guy took it in good spirit, which seems to be a character trait, and accepted our decision.
Have not been sleeping well at all. Very restless, waking a lot, my mind not shutting down, you know. Guess with all the uncertainty going on it is to be expected. The fact that the days are filled to full capacity doesn’t help much either, I guess…nor the worry about coppers coming to the door at any minute. Ah well, let’s hope there will be a time that we can all laugh about these wonky weeks.
Got another call from the guy with the job where he asked if maybe we couldn’t try it after all, so considering he offered that we could try it out with big brother and me working the same hours, just on different projects, we agreed to try it, and did a half day this weekend. Didn’t go bad. It is just learning how the new bosses want it done, isn’t it? And they’re nice enough about it, so all is well in that regard. We’ll get it sorted, I think.
Lots of driving about. Had to cancel Sally’s social security card, which was such a bother. I was being sent from one place to the next, only to discover in the last place that it would happen automatically when she registered in her country of origin. *sigh* Also had to cancel Cousin Ed’s insurance, otherwise it would overlap with her new one, which is a no-no, I’m guessing.
Had some really strange Spanish lessons, which mostly involved translating stuff and figuring out how to get English phrases to work in Spanish.
Been visiting tenant 3 times a week now. Bringing her clothes, which somehow got lost during all the mess, so every time there was something else that I’d forgotten or couldn’t find. Finally got the last bits on Wednesday. She’s still not happy there, but they’re involving her in all the activities (she complains that the games are fro friggin’ pre-schoolers) and she’s gradually getting stronger, so I’m pleased about that, even though I get a tad depressed when she practically begs me to take her home while that is not something that I am free to decide over until the whole social services thing is dealt with. I had to promise her that if she can’t come home, and that if she can’t be happy there, I’ll take her to her country of origin, too. Had to promise, so it will have to be done if it gets to that. *sigh*
Knight II’s foot is doing well, but Lhabana was diagnosed with Leishmania. She had big swellings on her “elbows” and ulcers, so I took her to the vet to have her checked out. She’s getting medication now and is wearing a collar cone so she can’t lick the damage. We’re going to have to see if the medication helps.
Carla is not doing well, I fear. If he gets worse, the dreaded decision is going to have to be made, because if his health declines even more, the quality of his life won’t weigh up against the bad anymore. *sigh*
Did another few hours at the job, more to learn stuff, and to help with the dogs, but that’s okay, you gotta learn some time, right?
Sally is not doing well over there in the North. The doctor is calling her pre-terminal, and her mind is rapidly slipping. In fact, yesterday morning, I heard, she wasn’t at all coherent so Cousin Ed had to have her admitted. Apparently she has a big infection again, cellulite, thrombosis that settled in her groin, a urine tract infection, and a delirium that makes her basically incoherent. Cousin Ed fears that she won’t be allowed to take her back home now, but we’ll have to see. It makes me a little sad to hear that she is dying as fast as I feared when we had to make the decision to help her go home. Nothing to live for there, after all.
Sometimes I wonder about this sadness, but then I remember that life is all about certain periods coming to an end, end this is clearly one of those. The end of an era, where all that we knew to be our life for more than 27 years, is disappearing. It is not to be sad about something like that, is it?
Well. That was a long enough blog, wasn’t it. That should bring you up to date at the very least. Let’s hope I’ll find the time to write another sometime next week, eh?
Life goes on…
