Song of the day: “Roar” by Katy Perry, but performed by a
small group of young men who covered the song some time ago. I really like that
version.
Right. I’ve been remiss again, I believe. It’s been a while
since I wrote, isn’t it? I think that was the 28th, meaning more
than two weeks since the last post. Bad Sammi.
Anyway, let’s get to it.
I heard from my new job the other day. For a bit I was
afraid that I might need to start looking for another one, seeing as I hadn’t
heard anything for such a long time, but I was assured that I have until May
for my training, so I didn’t need to worry. A relief that, until today I
suddenly get a message asking me if I would be willing to drive this Thursday.
Hello! I can hardly say no, of course, but still, that was a little sudden.
Hah. No matter though. Most likely it will be the same area as where I went
along with the seasoned guide, and since I am basically just following the
caravan, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. I’ll keep you posted.
In the job department things aren’t too bad at the moment.
Got another small project in a store, adding more shelving, so that will add to
the wallet as well. There are worries about funding, of course, but that’s in
the future still, for now things are manageable.
This little job allows for some hand craft work, which is
nice. Big brother has been doing some welding, while I have been sawing wooden
shelves, and painting the metal braces.
The weather has been deplorable of late, except for today
when the weather finally turned for the better a bit. We actually had several
hours of sunshine yesterday, and most of today was fully sunny. Very nice
chance, I was starting to get cabin fever again which is a problem for me
lately. Very frustrating. It did allow for processing of the dog food
yesterday, which was a nice way to pass the time, really. Normally grandpa does
that, but he’s feeling poorly again, so we’re pitching in where he’ll let us.
He’s making life so hard with all those strict rules for himself, and routines
that make him stressed out. It’s the biggest hurdle he faces in a day
We did groceries, if only a little. The last couple of weeks
were over budget, which simply won’t do with the little amount of money coming
in. Luckily I’ve got some decent supplies going. That’s what they are for after
all. It’s the sales that will save you in a tight month, right? Still, laundry
detergent is expensive, fuel and all those fun little expenses. Makes a body
worry, doesn’t it? Ah well, such is life.
Prepped some manuscripts for publishers, even sent out a
couple more, so we’re keeping our fingers crossed for that…if you want to help
out, do the same. Can’t have too many crossed fingers in that regard. Boy do we
need a break in the publishing industry at the moment. *sigh*
Ah well, in the end it only comes down to finding an editor
with whom we click, right? We’re weird, there should be someone out there with
whom that weirdness connects, right? Some folks like weird, right? I like weird…hmmm.
Okay, let’s let that go, we’ll have to wait and see.
Jelly seems to be benefiting from the Meloxicam tablets he’s
getting, which is good. He was having a lot of pain, I think, probably
arthritis, considering the condition of his hips. Arthur is still schlogging
on, and Abacara has improved a little as well. She’s eating again, and is a
little less fearful. I think she was attacked by one of the other dogs…probably
Ama, who has it out for her…but she’s recovered.
A bit of bad news. Considering my varicose vein has been
bothering me for a few months now, so I went to the doctor (remember the
butcher I mentioned back during my head cyst days? Well, I’m just THAT lucky)
and got treated to the usual. “Take of your pants, lie down….oooh, oooh, that’s
bad…sit back up…I want to test your blood pressure (I assure you, his brusque
behavior and me sitting there in my underpants already had it up)…too high
blood pressure. No more salt. None! Take this aspirin every day, wear stocking…blood
tested and a echo scan of the vein…at which point I was so disturbed I went
back to the stocking bit, and asked if that was really necessary. He said it
wasn’t obligatory, so the way I figure, if it was this bad, I could do without
that for the next few weeks. Jeez. There were no explanations, just orders, and
a vague mention of an operation…which had me ask for some clarification, which
he didn’t actually give, except for saying that he would decide what to do
after the tests…as if that had nothing to do with me. Gawd. I was seriously
upset afterward, and completely in the dark…and two days later the blood test
didn’t make it any better. The girl taking my blood wasn’t really good at it,
and it took three tries, meaning I have two big bruises on the insides of my
arms.
The results were startling at first, but then fully understandable.
Anemia is back, darn it…not surprisingly since I ate very little meat these
past few months back home, and even less of it back in the UK. Guess that is
simply not possible, not with my body, anyway.
The aspirin I was prescribed to thin my blood…I was forced
to quit it. (If you are male you can stop reading now for a few sentences, this
is female stuff) Seriously, my monthly was scary until I stopped. Not a smart
idea to take blood thinners when you already have problems with your monthlies
due to anemia.
All the other things that were out of whack from the blood analysis…most
of them had to do with anemia (naturally) and infection. At first I feared it
had to do with the vein, I mean, I get paranoid and frightened just like the
next person, but then, the day after, within six hours of a small ticklish
cough, I was suffering from a full-blown cold, thank you very much. So
basically the blood analysis is void (except for the anemia related stuff) and
the sonogram test on Thursday I’ll have to reschedule due to the sudden work
thing coming up. I am not pleased. Hah. Not that that will make any difference,
but what the hey. I have decided to go to a different doctor, one who I know
will at least take the time to explain things to me. If I don’t I’ll just start
worrying and drive myself bonkers.
Don’t need more bonkers, not after the last couple of weeks,
which were bad, stress-wise, for some unfathomable reason. Seriously, there
were times when I was fighting the urge to just get into the car and start
driving until I was far, far away from any and all problem pressing in on me.
Wouldn’t work, of course, seeing as problems have a tendency to follow you wherever
you go (them being in your mind and all) so it was a fantasy that I wallowed in
occasionally. Gotta get over that. The fantasy isn’t going to do much of
anything, will it?
Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on the whole mess. With a
little luck, you’ll get to hear me complain about an operation that can be,
according to internet reports, quite excruciating…which didn’t exactly float my
boat when I heard. I’m seeing a lot of Katie Melua’s “It’s only pain” in my
near future. Gotta love the pain, enjoy it, embrace it…and all that shaite.
Shall I stop thinking about that, maybe I’m one of the lucky ones who doesn’t
feel a thing. Seeing as my luck has been sooooo good lately.
I know, sarcasm is supposed to be unbecoming, but I do like
it at times. Hah.
What else. Well, the usual stuff, daily cleaning, laundry,
cooking…my appetite was out of whack again after the doctor, which is not an
uncommon effect. Silly man says I should lose weight (in a way that implies
that I haven’t, or something) and my stomach starts to play up, and my old
dysfunctional way of thinking about food just pops up, makes eating an almost
impossible task. I find it scary what kind of power a doctor has in that
regard, in particular since he knows nothing about me, and since his views are
somewhat outdated. I mean, this guy didn’t know I have anemia and that I used
to have a whacked relationship with food, back in the day. He doesn’t know that
diets for me were the disaster that had me end up at the doctors’ the last time
with massive deficiencies in my blood. It is my head that’s whacked out,
wondering, on rare occasions if just one more diet would do the trick, while in
my logical mind it was that attitude that got me into trouble in the first
place.
I mean seriously, take my lousy deficiencies, and imagine
me, decreasing my food intake (which is hard to keep up at any rate, since
there still are times when food pretends to be my mortal enemy anyway). I might
as well start taking arsenic, or something, in the end, it would have the same
effect.
It’s hard. Just that lousy little remark from the doctor,
undoubtedly voiced out of concern, or some such, had me miss four meals in
three days, simply because I couldn’t get past it. Not good. Gotta find my zen,
my zone and get back to eating properly. I can’t afford to do this sort of
thing. Not anymore.
Moving on.
Did some nice reading recently, but also started on a book I’ve
been asked to review. So far I’m only 20 percent into it, and although the
writing is not bad, and the mistakes minor, I am having some difficulty. A
little too gritty for my taste, I think…also, the subject is not really my
thing. I like things pretty, if you will. I don’t mind grittiness from time to time,
but there has to be some prettiness in it, some goodness. So far I haven’t
found it yet.
Been diligently writing…though less than I could have, due
to some edits in between of the manuscripts that we sent out. Added to that, I
had to put together some query letters and a synopsis, meaning that the actual
writing got interrupted. My hero is finally coming up to scratch, though, he
might actually live to become a true hero after all.
Had a funny moment the other day, big brother was practicing
his knife-throwing out in the old horse paddock, and he was like really proud,
saying: “See that. See that!”
Me: Very good! (while cutting dog food)
Big brother: I know. It’s not every day that one manages to
hit the target like that, so perfectly.
Me: Hey. Dude. Raise your hand.
Big brother: “What?” (He did, looking at me curiously, then
his armpit)
Me: Bend it. (He did…none the wiser, yet)
Me: Now pat your head, and say “Good boy.” (which is when we
both burst out laughing.)
Gawd, that was good. Not often that I can pull one over big
brother like that.
Went to the gym four nights a week, a couple of times with
our friend T, which was a wonderful change. Get to have some nice chats with
her while we are out there, meaning that we don’t get so consumed by the
workout that we spent an hour and a half, rather than just one hour pumping
iron. Hah. Also, it’s nice to be away from the house for a bit, unwind, look at
some different walls.
Boy am I looking forward to summer when I can just stay
outside all day…also looking forward to picking up swimming again. Nothing like
being without gravity for a bit.
Well, that’s about all I can think of at the moment.
Considering that this is page four, it should be more than enough, right? Gotta
go. It’s late.
