Luck?

Song of the day: “Roar” by Katy Perry, but performed by a small group of young men who covered the song some time ago. I really like that version.

Right. I’ve been remiss again, I believe. It’s been a while since I wrote, isn’t it? I think that was the 28^th, meaning more than two weeks since the last post. Bad Sammi.

Anyway, let’s get to it.

I heard from my new job the other day. For a bit I was afraid that I might need to start looking for another one, seeing as I hadn’t heard anything for such a long time, but I was assured that I have until May for my training, so I didn’t need to worry. A relief that, until today I suddenly get a message asking me if I would be willing to drive this Thursday. Hello! I can hardly say no, of course, but still, that was a little sudden. Hah. No matter though. Most likely it will be the same area as where I went along with the seasoned guide, and since I am basically just following the caravan, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. I’ll keep you posted.

In the job department things aren’t too bad at the moment. Got another small project in a store, adding more shelving, so that will add to the wallet as well. There are worries about funding, of course, but that’s in the future still, for now things are manageable.

This little job allows for some hand craft work, which is nice. Big brother has been doing some welding, while I have been sawing wooden shelves, and painting the metal braces.

The weather has been deplorable of late, except for today when the weather finally turned for the better a bit. We actually had several hours of sunshine yesterday, and most of today was fully sunny. Very nice chance, I was starting to get cabin fever again which is a problem for me lately. Very frustrating. It did allow for processing of the dog food yesterday, which was a nice way to pass the time, really. Normally grandpa does that, but he’s feeling poorly again, so we’re pitching in where he’ll let us. He’s making life so hard with all those strict rules for himself, and routines that make him stressed out. It’s the biggest hurdle he faces in a day

We did groceries, if only a little. The last couple of weeks were over budget, which simply won’t do with the little amount of money coming in. Luckily I’ve got some decent supplies going. That’s what they are for after all. It’s the sales that will save you in a tight month, right? Still, laundry detergent is expensive, fuel and all those fun little expenses. Makes a body worry, doesn’t it? Ah well, such is life.

Prepped some manuscripts for publishers, even sent out a couple more, so we’re keeping our fingers crossed for that…if you want to help out, do the same. Can’t have too many crossed fingers in that regard. Boy do we need a break in the publishing industry at the moment. *sigh*

Ah well, in the end it only comes down to finding an editor with whom we click, right? We’re weird, there should be someone out there with whom that weirdness connects, right? Some folks like weird, right? I like weird…hmmm. Okay, let’s let that go, we’ll have to wait and see.

Jelly seems to be benefiting from the Meloxicam tablets he’s getting, which is good. He was having a lot of pain, I think, probably arthritis, considering the condition of his hips. Arthur is still schlogging on, and Abacara has improved a little as well. She’s eating again, and is a little less fearful. I think she was attacked by one of the other dogs…probably Ama, who has it out for her…but she’s recovered.

A bit of bad news. Considering my varicose vein has been bothering me for a few months now, so I went to the doctor (remember the butcher I mentioned back during my head cyst days? Well, I’m just THAT lucky) and got treated to the usual. “Take of your pants, lie down….oooh, oooh, that’s bad…sit back up…I want to test your blood pressure (I assure you, his brusque behavior and me sitting there in my underpants already had it up)…too high blood pressure. No more salt. None! Take this aspirin every day, wear stocking…blood tested and a echo scan of the vein…at which point I was so disturbed I went back to the stocking bit, and asked if that was really necessary. He said it wasn’t obligatory, so the way I figure, if it was this bad, I could do without that for the next few weeks. Jeez. There were no explanations, just orders, and a vague mention of an operation…which had me ask for some clarification, which he didn’t actually give, except for saying that he would decide what to do after the tests…as if that had nothing to do with me. Gawd. I was seriously upset afterward, and completely in the dark…and two days later the blood test didn’t make it any better. The girl taking my blood wasn’t really good at it, and it took three tries, meaning I have two big bruises on the insides of my arms.

The results were startling at first, but then fully understandable. Anemia is back, darn it…not surprisingly since I ate very little meat these past few months back home, and even less of it back in the UK. Guess that is simply not possible, not with my body, anyway.

The aspirin I was prescribed to thin my blood…I was forced to quit it. (If you are male you can stop reading now for a few sentences, this is female stuff) Seriously, my monthly was scary until I stopped. Not a smart idea to take blood thinners when you already have problems with your monthlies due to anemia.

All the other things that were out of whack from the blood analysis…most of them had to do with anemia (naturally) and infection. At first I feared it had to do with the vein, I mean, I get paranoid and frightened just like the next person, but then, the day after, within six hours of a small ticklish cough, I was suffering from a full-blown cold, thank you very much. So basically the blood analysis is void (except for the anemia related stuff) and the sonogram test on Thursday I’ll have to reschedule due to the sudden work thing coming up. I am not pleased. Hah. Not that that will make any difference, but what the hey. I have decided to go to a different doctor, one who I know will at least take the time to explain things to me. If I don’t I’ll just start worrying and drive myself bonkers.

Don’t need more bonkers, not after the last couple of weeks, which were bad, stress-wise, for some unfathomable reason. Seriously, there were times when I was fighting the urge to just get into the car and start driving until I was far, far away from any and all problem pressing in on me. Wouldn’t work, of course, seeing as problems have a tendency to follow you wherever you go (them being in your mind and all) so it was a fantasy that I wallowed in occasionally. Gotta get over that. The fantasy isn’t going to do much of anything, will it?

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on the whole mess. With a little luck, you’ll get to hear me complain about an operation that can be, according to internet reports, quite excruciating…which didn’t exactly float my boat when I heard. I’m seeing a lot of Katie Melua’s “It’s only pain” in my near future. Gotta love the pain, enjoy it, embrace it…and all that shaite. Shall I stop thinking about that, maybe I’m one of the lucky ones who doesn’t feel a thing. Seeing as my luck has been sooooo good lately.

I know, sarcasm is supposed to be unbecoming, but I do like it at times. Hah.

What else. Well, the usual stuff, daily cleaning, laundry, cooking…my appetite was out of whack again after the doctor, which is not an uncommon effect. Silly man says I should lose weight (in a way that implies that I haven’t, or something) and my stomach starts to play up, and my old dysfunctional way of thinking about food just pops up, makes eating an almost impossible task. I find it scary what kind of power a doctor has in that regard, in particular since he knows nothing about me, and since his views are somewhat outdated. I mean, this guy didn’t know I have anemia and that I used to have a whacked relationship with food, back in the day. He doesn’t know that diets for me were the disaster that had me end up at the doctors’ the last time with massive deficiencies in my blood. It is my head that’s whacked out, wondering, on rare occasions if just one more diet would do the trick, while in my logical mind it was that attitude that got me into trouble in the first place.

I mean seriously, take my lousy deficiencies, and imagine me, decreasing my food intake (which is hard to keep up at any rate, since there still are times when food pretends to be my mortal enemy anyway). I might as well start taking arsenic, or something, in the end, it would have the same effect.

It’s hard. Just that lousy little remark from the doctor, undoubtedly voiced out of concern, or some such, had me miss four meals in three days, simply because I couldn’t get past it. Not good. Gotta find my zen, my zone and get back to eating properly. I can’t afford to do this sort of thing. Not anymore.

Moving on.

Did some nice reading recently, but also started on a book I’ve been asked to review. So far I’m only 20 percent into it, and although the writing is not bad, and the mistakes minor, I am having some difficulty. A little too gritty for my taste, I think…also, the subject is not really my thing. I like things pretty, if you will. I don’t mind grittiness from time to time, but there has to be some prettiness in it, some goodness. So far I haven’t found it yet.

Been diligently writing…though less than I could have, due to some edits in between of the manuscripts that we sent out. Added to that, I had to put together some query letters and a synopsis, meaning that the actual writing got interrupted. My hero is finally coming up to scratch, though, he might actually live to become a true hero after all.

Had a funny moment the other day, big brother was practicing his knife-throwing out in the old horse paddock, and he was like really proud, saying: “See that. See that!”

Me: Very good! (while cutting dog food)

Big brother: I know. It’s not every day that one manages to hit the target like that, so perfectly.

Me: Hey. Dude. Raise your hand.

Big brother: “What?” (He did, looking at me curiously, then his armpit)

Me: Bend it. (He did…none the wiser, yet)

Me: Now pat your head, and say “Good boy.” (which is when we both burst out laughing.)

Gawd, that was good. Not often that I can pull one over big brother like that.

Went to the gym four nights a week, a couple of times with our friend T, which was a wonderful change. Get to have some nice chats with her while we are out there, meaning that we don’t get so consumed by the workout that we spent an hour and a half, rather than just one hour pumping iron. Hah. Also, it’s nice to be away from the house for a bit, unwind, look at some different walls.

Boy am I looking forward to summer when I can just stay outside all day…also looking forward to picking up swimming again. Nothing like being without gravity for a bit.

Well, that’s about all I can think of at the moment. Considering that this is page four, it should be more than enough, right? Gotta go. It’s late.