The dreaded decision.

My mind kept whirling throughout the night; past conversations rerunning through my head, events that happened a long time ago returning without apparent reason, making me feel as if I haven’t had any sleep at all when it’s time to get up.

It’s a beautiful day, but when I let the dogs out I am unable to enjoy it at the sight of Yadzia dragging his butt over the floor. It is obvious that his hind legs won’t support him, making it clear that his last day as arrived…much too soon to my liking.

So I start the day making phone calls to the vet, grandpa and big brother, knowing that I’m going to need help to get the other dogs inside. It is no easy task, especially not considering that Yadzia literally needs to be carried to the house.

Since I am unable to do so–what with Knight II jumping around me and Trin Trin wanting to pounce on my trouser legs–big brother comes up to help the poor lab while I walk ahead to let the pack inside the courtyard.

I have enough time to feed Yadzia his last breakfast. He’s still bravely cheerful; his butt and paws dragging over the tiles uselessly. The mere sight brings tears to my eyes, especially since I have to hurry to make it to the vet in time and really hate the idea of needing to make this decision. It was inevitable, I know, but still…it’s such a waste of a beautiful and sweet dog.

Half an hour after rising I’m in the car, heading for the village where the vet is waiting. There is little conversation when I carry the Labrador into the hospital and place him on the exam table, the vet already looking morose and sad when she sees me lifting his feeble body.

It is over in less than thirty minutes, and I’m a big mess by the time I get back to the car. The logical mind says that he had three wonderful years with me after being dumped by his previous owner and that it would have been cruel and disrespectful to make him suffer through more of the debilitating affliction, but still, emotions are a pain in such situations.

Suffice it to say I am not at all in the mood to do the necessary editing by the time I arrive home, and merely do a bit of online messing around before we decide to head on out into the garden to continue on with clearing vines and weeds away from the actual plants and trees we want to have.

The weather is mild. Real spring weather, actually. There are some veil-like clouds, but most of all there is pleasantly warm sunshine–the clouds I could have done without, I’ll admit–that is beneficial to the work atmosphere.
While the younger sibs head on down to a lower terrace middle sister and I seek out narrow perches on the steep incline over the old pool.

Eucalypts, oleanders and a variety of other plant life need to be trimmed and once again the debris piles rise rapidly on the cleared patches of rocky ground.
The dogs are everywhere, rutting in the dirt, gnawing on branches, lounging about and just running back and forth. A beautiful sight, all in all.

For several hours we hack, saw and cut our way through nettles and thorny bushes until we come full circle at last, ending up where we started several days ago.
Just a few more yards and we’ll have finished the first two terraces that needed work.
This is not even half of what all needs to be done, but at least it’s a start.

While middle sister and I focus on the last few trees lining the path down the mountain, little brother heads on up to the house to start dinner. The remaining sibs start lugging away debris leaving today’s working area relatively clear for the next foray.

With dusk settling we call the dogs–they are more than eager to call it a day–to us, and start on our way to house for wash up and dinner.
Chili sin carne await, and since my stomach is already protesting I eat only little. With yesterday’s pie as desert, and watching a recorded episode of “Life” I’m feeling restless and down.

For a while, wanting to distract myself, I work on my computer, but find that focus is a flighty thing today. Giving up shortly afterwards, I get up again and tackle the laundry of the day, instead. By this time my stomach is more than a little upset, and I just barely make it to the bathroom before dinner gets chucked up. It often happens on days such as this, still it is annoying.

After a little while I settle down for a bit, watching “Medium” and try to calm my stomach with water and being motionless until the evening is slowly drawing to an end.

For about an hour big brother and I manage to edit “Saving Nina” a psychological thriller that I wrote several years ago, but when excitement of improving scenes finally begins to mount the time to retire has arrived, cutting the session short…much to my regret. I could have done with some more distractions today, that is a fact.

While I’m herding my pack out into the courtyard and then the gate, the loss of Yadzia hits me again. I’m so used to having to wait for him that I choke up the moment I turn around to call him…and realize that he’s gone. The same happens when I reach the gate–he always took his time following me outside–and when I arrive at my cabin and start to feed the pack.

For months now I have been spending extra time preparing a substitute meal for him and now I find myself at a loss.
This feeling often reminds me of how “Star Trek’s” Data (Brent Spiner) described how he could miss something too. Something along the lines of: When you’re used to a particular “input” on a daily basis, the loss of that creates a sensation that matches missing very well.

I thought that to be very impressive and insightful when I saw it, and it is so very accurate. An emotion is fleeting and hard to describe, while for android Data’s explanation made so much more sense than any literary story I ever read.

I miss the input of Yadzia being here. His presence, his interaction and his usual cheer, and this causes a discomfort that comes and goes like a tide…only faster.

Jungle smungle...hacking through it!

What is up with being late every day so I can’t take the proper time necessary to write a proper Blog, I wonder? It is turning out to be most annoying I’ll admit, and I’m really going to need to do something about it in the near future. Perhaps I need to do this in the morning, rather than the evening? Hmmm. ‘Tis worth some thought.

Not today, however. Let’s get to all that has passed since the last Blog and get it over with, shall we?

So, my alarm shrills like a…well, something impolite twenty minutes past my usual time. Either I didn’t set it right last night, or it has been screeching for longer than I realize, forcing me to hurry through the morning rituals with my eyes pried open–just barely.

I arrive at the house not in the best of moods. I think that yesterday’s “lesson” left a bigger impression than I had realized, though I doubt it. It is the only thing I can think of, which could be the cause of my lousy mood, however.

Considering the plan of the day requiring several hours of intense labor in the garden again, I decide not to exercise. The work is hard enough to offer a proper substitute nonetheless. The only times when exercise should be required is when days are spent immobile, I’m thinking. Adding a rigorous training routine to the lifting, cutting and climbing would be a bit too much for my body. Hah.

Be that as it may, I set to the task of feeding Yadzia, some minor chores in the kitchen and then have breakfast while big brother puts on the coffee. We’re running late, what with getting distracted by talking with grandpa, but in the end we settle behind the computer to start editing again.

It doesn’t go well today, our minds are fuzzy, quickly distracted, and the words just don’t seem to make sense. Still we struggle through the agreed upon hours until the younger sibs arrive and the time of outside work has arrived.

One by one we all head down to the lower garden.
Since middle sister is finishing up in the courtyard with her daily task of hosing it down, and little brother is dragging debris away from the path, I arrive first in the place where we finished the day before yesterday. The cut apart pear tree looks miserable and thorny gray branches of the dead bougainvillea surround it like a macabre type of prison.

Looking around at the disaster area–at least that is what it looks like due to the work on progress–I stab my hands into my work gloves and pick up my hand scythe. The place where the bamboo we planted during our first year in Spain is as good a place as any so I start hacking through dead sticks and strangling vines until one by one living canes begin to appear.

It is a relief to find them, in particular since it all looked so horrid, but in the end, after removing miles of twining vines a decent sized cluster stands erect once more, now that vines no longer weigh them down.

By this time the others have joined me, and big brother is once again applying the chainsaw on dead conifers–these, much to our regret, didn’t survive the onslaught of the vines–and later on moves over to where I’m already removing large branches of the carob tree.

The poor bush has had a few hard years, due to a rat problem we used to have, and many of the massive growths need to be removed so there is room for the new to find their way up to the sun.

While we are working on this particular heavy task, middle sister is tackling one of the dead palm trees and the youngest sibs are further down the mountain fighting the relentless battle against the vines’ stranglehold on our oleanders, eucalypts, bougainvillea and even the reeds.

We work at a steady pace, and once most of the trimming has been seen to–my arms ache from handling the large shears–I join middle sister and start piling up the debris she’s removing. Soon we’re able to traverse on the terrace surrounding the old pool.

The dogs are constantly around us, lingering dangerously close to the edge of the empty pool, and roughhousing with such enthusiasm that at one point we hear a massive thud and see Chaos in a tangle of branches that have piled up on the bottom.

Luckily the pile broke his fall, and he is looking a tad chagrinned before interesting scents lure him to explore the piles of natural debris that surround him.
Once big brother has lifted him from the pool, we all continue with our tasks, starting on the arduous and somewhat hazardous transference of the dead and dried palm tree branches.

The spikes have turned hard and they are dangerously sharp, and I am reminded of that fact when one of them pierces straight through my leather glove. Blast! The spike sticks into the thin skin between my thumb and index, having penetrated a good inch of my hand before I yank it out and suck on the bleeding hole for a bit.

Though cautioned by my little mishap little brother ends up with a matching spike in his thigh. This earns him a quick first-aid session that reveals a broken off point of an inch and a half buried deep into his flesh. It hurts like heck, but it doesn’t stop him from continuing on until dusk finally arrives and the end of our work announces itself.

Little sister, who has spent several hours working alongside us, has returned to the house a little earlier and has dinner waiting for us.
We’re all dirty and starving, so after washing up the meal is rapidly devoured. At the same time the dogs attack the kibble waiting for them before they start dropping to the floor in apparent exhaustion.

Lazy little buggers. Sure they play a lot when out there in the yard with us, but after an hour of mischief most of them do little more than lounge about on their chosen vantage point to watch us (or get in the way) as we work out butts of, hah.

Their exhaustion does create a wonderfully peaceful atmosphere for us however, keeping the pack quiet throughout dinner and the hours that follow. We are forced to move over, around and through them to get from one place to the next, but it all happens without ever waking them.

After dinner and our weekly episode of “The Closer”, I drag myself from my seat to see to today’s laundry. Yesterday’s massive batch has dried during the wonderfully sunny day and needs to be folded, after which the new batch gets hung of course.

Since mom’s birthday is tomorrow, middle sister and I make two cheese/yogurt/cream cakes with a mixture of passion fruit, mango, raspberries, peaches and brambles for the occasion, finishing the task under an hour when it is time for cleanup. Together we manage this particular chore in record time, leaving me with about one hour to do some more editing.

It still doesn’t go well, but at least we get another page done before midnight arrives and I need to head on up to my cabin for the last few hours of the day.

Nerves...or something.

All right, this is going to be a quickie post, considering I’m at least and hour behind and really should already be getting ready to go to bed by now. Ah well, I can hardly not do my post today. That would just be…well, inconsistent.

For some inexplicable reason I forgot to set my alarm last night, which means I wake up an hour late and “run after time” for the rest of the day. I remember vague dreams this night, something about driving in a car and then being unable to take a curve due to this massive bump in the road that scrapes the underside of the truck. Very frustrating.

It is often an indication that reminds me I’m dreaming. The depth of sight isn’t the way it’s supposed to, just like when I dream of reading something and realize that I can’t make out the words that seem alien to me. When I realize as much in the dream and recognize it as such, the anxiety that this causes often disappears and I am able to alter the events to my liking. That is a good thing most of the time, since when I don’t I end up feeling frustrated when I wake up.

But let’s get to the day before I get completely distracted and start “yapping” about dreams for pages on end. I really don’t have the time…even though I might be a more fun read that just another recount of the day.

So, after letting the dogs out and quickly going through the morning rituals, I head on down to the house, keeping Trin Trin the Monster Boxer on the tight leash.
She has that CRAZY look in her eyes today, and I am just in time too, when the door opens and a couple of big brother’s cocker spaniels are right on the threshold. If I hadn’t kept her close to my heel things might have turned out as a disaster.

There is very little time today, what with the looming appointment at school, less than three hours after waking time. I can honestly say that I am both dreading and looking forward to it. Dreading it because I’ve heard horror tales about these particular lessons, and looking forward to it because I really do enjoy this part of our “education”.

But anyways…rather than plunge back into an editing session–which we really should have done, but simply couldn’t get ourselves to do in the little time we had available–I spend a frivolous hour or so online to go over the messages and chat sites before we shut down our computers and take the opportunity to do some studying instead.

The hours pass really fast, and soon I’m heading up to my cabin to change clothes and then head for the car.
First thing we do, once underway, is head for the deserted windy road leading through Valtocado. It has been more than seven months since we’ve last been behind the wheel of a car, and rather than face our lessons blindly, we decide to do a quick practice drive.

It goes well, but it almost makes us late to arrive at the school where teach is talking to one of her colleagues. As we wait for our instructor, I hand her the questions I remember from the exams and she takes them gratefully while making some joke about having send me back home if I’d forgotten them again. Hah.

Our instructor arrives then and I get in behind the wheel of the car. For the next hour I try to divert my attention between the lesson and the actual rules of the road, and find it all to be a bit confusing, even though I do relatively well.

Basically the man is showing me the things I need to do in order to make the exams. Other than that he says I did well enough.
Once big brother has had his lesson and we have returned to the school, we are both exhausted for no good reason whatsoever and are more than happy to head back home to unwind.

At the school one of the boys who did the exams with me is waiting for his very first lesson and he is mighty nervous, looking terribly pale and about ready to bolt. Big brother and I share a few reassuring words with him and wave him off when he and the instructor get in the car and are on their way.

Time to leave for home ourselves and we sigh in relief when we get into the car.
It was stressful. Not so much the driving on itself, but the not knowing what to expect, I’m thinking. And that’s fine. This means that next week will be a tad easier because we know what he wants now and can set our minds to that prior to starting.

Once at home I get online for a bit, trying to let go of the stress and then decide to just take it easy for the rest of the evening since my head feels numb. There is a long session of hanging laundry somewhere during the evening–five batches have been tossed in the machine during the day–but other than that the evening was really quite uneventful…activity wise.

We did see a couple of movies today. “Get Smart” which was surprisingly funny…or my head was so numb that I thought it was…and “The life and death of Bobby Z” which wasn’t bad either, though not stellar by any means.

Big brother and I do talk quite a bit during the evening, but to write it all down would really take too much time, so I guess I’ll just leave at this and finish today’s blog by saying that the evening ended much like most of my evenings do with a trip up the mountain, feeding the dogs and then doing some reading.

If all goes well, we’ll be heading into the “jungle” tomorrow and get some actual work done. Yay!

Jungle fever continues.

Strange dreams during the night, and incredible soreness all over my body when I woke about two hours before the alarm went off. I found myself almost incapable of movement during the short waking period. Groaning, I rolled over and fell back to sleep for blissful sleep some more.

When the alarm goes of, I’m feeling decidedly better and just slightly stiff when I roll from the bed and head out of the bedroom in order to let the dogs out. They’re ecstatic, of course and dash away to leave me to the morning rituals.

Rather than go down to the house immediately, I set out up the mountain instead so I can have a short visit with grandpa’s guest. There’s about half an hour of chatting before it’s time for me to head back down where the dogs are impatiently waiting for my arrival.

No laundry today, apparently middle sister is forgetting to throw anything in during the night, so that saves me a chore today. Still, throughout the day I throw in several batches, lest the dirty laundry pile will grow out of control.

After feeding Yadzia, big brother and I set to editing to get through the hours with effective edits until the younger sibs arrive. We’re running a little behind, what with my visit up at grandpa’s, but still we manage a few pages before it’s time to start on the garden again.

Though the sun is shining, it is decidedly cooler today as we once again start hacking our way through the bushes, clearing more away until at last we round the terrace and can move from one side to the next without obstruction. Quite a few of the planted bushes survived underneath the thick carpet of vines, and as they are removed more and more of them are revealed.

It is quite a relief to see that the Oleanders, eucalypts and even the Jasmine has survived a full year of neglect. Several trees have died however, one of which is completely covered by vines. I jerk on it throwing my weight into the task and literally fall on my butt, laughing when I’m immediately overrun by the jubilant dogs who love nothing more than have a human on the ground.
No harm done in the end, my knee protests a little, but it doesn’t prevent me from continuing with the task.

At long last we reach the last section of the large U we’ve created around the old pool, coming up against where the old pear tree crashed during the last storm and landed in a tangle of thorn branches that belonged to one of our largest bougainvillea. Though the tree is dead, some of the bush’s roots are obviously still alive with young sprouts proudly appearing from the mess we remove.

With a small handsaw, I remove most of the of the thorny bougainvillea so big brother can come in with the chainsaw and cut through most of the pear tree’s large trunk until we’re be able to remove it…not now, of course, but the next time we head down to the garden.

While we’re working on the tree my phone rings, identifying our teacher, who informs me that if we want to we can change our Monday appointment to tomorrow.
Rather than say yes immediately, I call out to big brother, asking him what he thinks about it, agree, and tell the teach that we’ll be there tomorrow on the time she indicates.

We wrap up today’s gardening around dusk and head up to the house where little sister has dinner waiting for those of us who are work weary and more than eager to fill our stomachs with the pasta and sauce standing on the counter with our arrival.

It’s “House” and “The Mentalist” evening, and it keeps us nicely entertained throughout dinner and the resulting relaxing time. We’re all pretty much beat and we’re definitely planning on an early night, which means that today my blog will be posted a little earlier than usual.