R.I.P. Bommel

Song of the day: “Forever” by Chris Brown. Still a beautiful song, even though I’ve had it stuck in my mind plenty of times.

A crappy day, so far, in this case because I had to make the dreaded decision once more. Bommel: His time had come, and seeing him struggle to get out of his basket this morning, and then trying to find his way out of the cabin, only to fall off the porch before I could get there to stop him. He didn’t cry out, didn’t move. He just lay there, blinking his confusion. It was enough. I had to say “this is it”, because to let him continue on now that his quality of life has gone down so much that he can’t even complain about pain anymore, would be for me, and not him anymore. I refuse to be the cause for his suffering, and therefore we headed out this morning, after the morning chores.

I got Bommel in January, in 1998. He was about two or three years old and it was my nineteenth birthday. I came up from my room (back then my room was what we now call the guest quarters by the old pool), it was raining, and I had Knight (the first) and Dax (the first too) with me. I entered the house, and there, shivering, smelly and drenched like a drowned rat, he stood. There was a soggy pink bow around his neck, his gray and white fur was still dirt caked but I knew without a doubt that he was a Bobtail, like me beloved Knight.
There was a distinct smell in the air…he came from the breeder where I’d gotten Knight too, who had to get rid of the “left overs”, so to speak…one that I remembered well from when I got Knight. I remember smiling upon seeing the dog that would become Bommel in the many years that would come to pass.
He was a mess, scared as heck for the big outside world (hadn’t seen more than a 9’ by 3’ cage his entire life) but absolutely adorable in a cumbrous sort of way. Seriously, Bommel always reminded me of a buggy in he way he walked with O shaped legs and a compact upper body. He was cheery, grumpy, and everything in-between but a most loyal friend in the past twelve years that past.
Sure, he had problems, ear infections at the drop of a hat, cancerous lumps on his skin and Leishmania which made him blind in the past four years, but he led a splendid life with lots of friends to keep him company over the years.
Gawd. I can hardly believe that except for Djammi (a black cocker spaniel) and Bakti (a black crossbreed) the first round of rescue dogs we took in is no more. Fourteen years and 76 losses: it is heavy on the heart for sure.
There were downs for sure, but also ups that made it well worth the heartache, I guess. Though it hurts on days like today, when saying goodbye to a beloved friend, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss a single day with any of them.

The other dogs looked at me funny when I came home afterwards, they sniffed noisily and kept looking around as if realizing that Bommel hadn’t returned with me. Yes, in Spain it is now also obligatory to leave your pet at the Vet’s for “destruction”. Bastards!
Anyways…I think Sitabah is going to have the most trouble with this for the next few days, considering Bommel always hassled her somewhat fierce on his way up. She’d be screaming like mad, and he’d pretend attacking her, up until about three months ago. Yeah, I think she’ll have a tough time of it. The others, well, they are sufficiently selfish that way, I guess. They’ll hardly notice.

But enough maudlin, this is after all a blog about life, rather than death, and rather than linger on the crappy stuff, I prefer to leave the past where it is. Behind me, out of sight and without regret. Can’t change anything about it anyway, and in all honesty, I don’t think I want to. It is gone, “Dust in the wind, so to speak”

So what’s been going on besides the depressing part? Not a lot, really, mostly away-from-home stuff (which annoys me to no end, I assure you) that made me take a total of four days to finish tenant’s wall. But, as of yesterday afternoon I succeeded in closing the thing off. Windows are in, locks on it, and a closed pane of glass to finish the appearance. It’s looking good, and tenant is psyched. Soon I’m going to put in a new concrete floor and tiles, so the place will be as good as new.

The book is finished. (Did I mention it already? Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t care.)Yes it is finished, the writing and the first edit with it. We are now a quarter into the second edit, and right after we will start on the paper edit, which will be the last one. After that we can send it out.

I sure can’t wait to start on a new story that has been tumbling through my mind constantly, but of course I will have to do the edit of the other manuscript yet. It will be fun to that too, however, considering that we’ll be able to look at it with a fresh pair of eyes now.

I went for my appointment with the cocktail lounge woman, who said I could come on Sunday for my “workday” so all is set for either a future column, or a fun blog…well, even if it is for a column, it’ll end up on here in some shape or form anyway, hah. The only thing I need for Sunday is black pants and a white top…the latter being a bit of a problem since, with all the dogs, I usually go out of my way to NOT have white. But anyway, I managed to dig something up that should do the trick. It was way down in my storage chest, but it was still white and comfortable.
Wish me luck!…which reminds me, I probably need to post another blog tomorrow because that sure ain’t going to happen on Sunday. I’ll be gone for twelve hours at the very least.

After my appointment I took tenant and her caregiver to the looking glasses store so she could be fitted with new glasses. She is going to need to, and in order to safe some money she opted to go for crystal, rather than plastic glasses. Weird how that works, really. I just refuse to see plastic as something that should be more expensive. Fitted her with a pair of silver ones, and light pink ones that look rather sharp on her. It did exhaust her, though, in particular the measuring. In the end she just opted to stare at the floor, rather than anything else.

Well, I rather do something constructive right now, rather than thinking of Bommel again (my thoughts do seem to have an inclination to go back there every five minutes or so) I cried more than enough for today. I’m going to see what project I can rack up to keep me occupied.