Bad luck? Again?

Song of the day: “Disturbia” by Rihanna. Perfectly fine song describe the past week.

So much has changed, and so much is going to change, that thinking of how to write all this up was a bit daunting…not so much the coming disaster thing you’re going to read about, but everything around it, the consequences; they are profound.

First off, grandpa was feeling poorly last week, again, so we took him to the doctor, who told him that his heart murmur had gotten considerably worse and that he would do a lot better to have himself admitted in hospital for two or three days so he could get checked out. Now, you know grandpa, ever since the horrors with tenant and Sally, he’s been avoiding the Spanish hospitals like the plague, and I can’t say I blame him. I’m doing the same. Apparently it is still a trauma for all of us.

Be that as it may, on the way home we talked about it, and decided that big brother was going to fly to the Netherlands with him, where he’d be able to stay with tenant and Cousin Ed, who were more than willing to play hostess to his needs in this uncertain time. So it was arranged, grandpa had to visit his doctor again in the morning, and we’d have to stock up one some things so I wouldn’t need to go out all the time while they were both gone, and we bought the tickets.

We shouldn’t have. Apparently grandpa hadn’t heard that his doctor wanted to see him the next morning again to check if he would be able to fly…he couldn’t, so we landed into quite a pickle there, with least of the problems being that it is almost impossible to get a refund for tickets at that particular airline.

But alright, no sense in lingering on done matters, we had to think of a solution, and the only one was to take the Isuzu and drive the odd 2300 km. More arranging followed, but that same evening, at around eight, we were packed and ready to go. There was some discussion about whether or not Grandpa should take his dog Ollie. It’s a tiny little thing, 13 years old, and they are both rather attached to each other. We were balancing precariously between Ollie being a reason for grandpa to “keep going”, or being a burden, but after checking with tenant and Cousin Ed, who were more than willing to provide a home for Ollie should the worst happen, Grandpa decided to take him.

We left at eight in the evening, figuring we should be able to cross Spain during the night, with as little as possible traffic. We drove straight through, all went swell, despite a small “lost” moment in the middle of a thankfully sleeping Madrid, and we made good time, reaching the border at about noon the next day. We went straight into France where we pondered taking small roads (to save a buck or two by going around the toll roads) but decided to go for speed because grandpa wasn't doing well at all. I sometimes wonder if sickness can change people’s characters, because  I had never heard him complain as much as he did during the first leg of the trip. The bed in the back of the car was a little short, the rumbling car prevented him from sleeping, sitting was too this and that, the list was endless, and admittedly it set my teeth on edge since there wasn’t anything that we could do about it.

Had just let mom know that we were making good time, and that the car was going a splendid steady 100 mp when about 40 under Bordeaux, the engine started to make a suspicious sound. Looked like our luck had run out, within moments of listening, the sound started to get worse. We were on the toll highway, meaning fast traffic, so big brother took the first turnoff so we could check what was up. First we feared no oil, but there was enough, and after adding a bit, it turned out there was still a sufficient amount in there. Cooling liquid: same. So we tried again, for about thirty seconds the engine sounded normal, but then we had to pull over on a dirt road because it got worse again.

So there we were, in a nature reserve, of all places, at least an hour's walking distance from two towns (splat in the middle) with a sick grandpa in the back, and in a country where we didn't know the language at all. Did manage to flag a couple down who spoke a few words of Spanish. The married couple offered to drive big brother to the nearest town, and then the other, but by that time I had, by some miracle reached travel assistance in Spain (and they had an English department) who had managed to figure out from my explanation where we were, more or less.

Then the waiting started, with grandpa sickly in the back, and more phone calls were made when the one promised hour turned in two, and then three until the tow truck finally found us. He listened to the engine for about 2 seconds and declared it "Kaput", so he loaded us and the car up and drove us 20 miles east to the garage he worked for.

Y'all will be happy to know that due to some sort of holiday everything was closed, naturally. We would hear the official verdict until Monday, so there was more waiting as the insurance company started to arrange for a taxi and a hotel for the night. Not that we could do anything during this time. We were waiting in this tiny little garage, pacing while grandpa looked worse for wear.

Another three hours later the taxi finally turned up, and the driver had to wait with us for another half hour before we got the information about our accomodations for the night. Not easy to find a hotel for three people and a dog at the last possible moment.

So later that night, us keeping a wary and weary eye on grandpa and 24 hours into the trip, and 36 hours awake, without more than a few cat naps, another call with the insurance company made clear that the only thing that was covered in the insurance, was the destruction of the car in France and my and my companions' return to Spain...not our destination! Aaaaaargh. And the only way to get back to Spain was by plane, which grandpa wasn't allowed to do! I lost it there for a bit.

Seriously, my brain just shorted for several minutes. There we were, halfway there, grandpa a ghost of himself, big brother and me exhausted, and no solution. Couldn't find any words. But anyway, more talk finally got us in an agreement that I would get reimbursement for whichever way we went, for the equivalent that would have brought us home...which, due to the holiday was quite a bit, thankfully, considering that if we opted (according to the insurance our best option) to go by train it would be 300 bucks a head to reach Amsterdam, some odd 200 miles from our destination. That wouldn’t do. Grandpa would not be able to handle sitting that long, and then transferring trains in Paris, which means that you have to go from one station, across town to another, by foot or really expensive taxi…with way too much luggage, and a small dog. It was a pickle.

By then I just thanked them, tried to stop thinking and conked out for 6 hours. As the final arrangement by the insurance (I am infinitely grateful to their efforts, because regardless of all the bad news...we only had basic insurance...they did save our butts) a taxi picked us up and drove us to the train station in Bordeaux where we managed to rent a "limitless mileage" rental for a whopping 900 bucks, that should (cross our fingers, knock on wood, etc) get us the rest of the way.

But seriously, we were literally exactly in the middle of the trip, almost spot on the mile. How weird is that? If I were to believe in shaite like that, I would have thought that something didn’t want us to get grandpa to a safe place.

Be that as it may, I did manage to get the rental, and by some miracle there was enough money on my credit card. Then, of course, it started to rain the moment we got in the rental, started to pour buckets by the time we were 60 miles from Poitiers, which is when the traffic jams started. Yep! We could laugh about it by then…a little anyway.

I had to do most of the driving, considering the rental was only in my name. Stupidly I didn't think to add big brother, so he could only do a couple of quiet stretches between big cities, giving me an hour's rest here and there. Didn’t manage to sleep, but honestly by then I was past the tiredness and had shot straight into wide-awake exhaustion. It kept raining, and grandpa wasn't improving. We were starting to be afraid to pull over at gas stations because every time he got out the car he looked like he was going to keel over.

Another traffic jam started about 30 miles before Paris, so rather than risk it, we swerved the long way round. Had a very short pit stop at the Mc D then for some hot "fuel", but then we went on asap. By then we were so worried we just wanted to get across the border where at least they spoke Grandpa's language, in case we had to go straight to hospital.

Rain finally stopped around midnight, near Lille, and from there we shot across the border into Belgium where I got about an hour's sleep while big brother raced the empty highways.

Arrived at our destination just before four in the morning, where we phoned emergency services, and headed for hospital where grandpa was admitted.

Thankfully we didn't end up in the ER like he would have over here, but was send straight through to cardiology, where they put him in a room, started on the questions of the symptoms and the tests. There was indeed a rather severe murmur in his heart, and liquid behind his lungs explaining his lack of breath, so we might as well head on out to the place we were staying and phone later about the results.

Didn't get to bed until 8 in the morning, and was up again an hour and a half later to get on the phone with the rental's customer service, (holiday, so there was no way to reach the office) the insurance company, and all those other pesky little details like trying (and failing) to get me an affordable ticket back to Spain, in time to get me back in time for my job. Thankfully they have been very understanding about the whole thing, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything will be okay in that corner.

Wasn't able to book anything until Thursday, so that got my panic higher, considering I had promised to be home Monday because mom and the sibs were taking care of our dogs. Called home to ask if everything was okay, and that I couldn’t find anything affordable until Thursday, but thankfully all was well at home.

Seriously, I do not know what the heck is going on lately, but luck is not on our side. Jeeez.

Which reminds me, did I mention the last time that we had two dogs in hospital (on a Sunday no less). Cousin Ed’s Niobe, had his paw ripped open by one of the other dogs, and Abacara, (remember the small golden retriever I mentioned some weeks ago that we were worried about because she was losing weight?) had a uterus infection, so they both stayed in for surgery. Had a whopping bill for that, naturally. Remember those changes I mentioned at the beginning of the blog? We’re going to have to be extremely selective in the future about what kind of procedures we can have done for the dogs and what not, because that is just something that we can’t afford anymore with grandpa gone.

Another bit of bad news that happened while we were gone with grandpa, was that little brother had to have his Labrador put down. Poor darling had a disease that caused his spinal disks to grow out of shape, until finally it got to him last week. They found him on the bed, in pain and unable to move, so there really wasn’t any choice.

But back to the trip. We spent our time at Tenant’s and cousin Ed’s, part of it prepping the pantry, by changing it into a bedroom for grandpa. Turns out he’s going to have to stay with them for quite some time while all the necessary tests are done. There is a spare bedroom, but the stairs are too hard for him at the moment, despite the medication. Luckily the pantry was pretty big, and it would give him some privacy at the back of the house at least.

He’s probably going to need open heart surgery, because two valves are leaking now, meaning that recovering is going to be a long slow road for him. Worst of it is, the way things are looking, it is a big question whether he can ever come back. He’s going to need a lot of care, and what with us “roughing it” in the wild…it won’t do, because there is just no way for us in an emergency to get him over there again. I mean, this trip, with the loss of the car, was basically all the money we managed to save with our jobs this past year, we’re about 4 inches from flat broke. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that we get some money back from the insurance. It looks grim, and unsolvable, unless there is some miracle, but thus are the facts and we will have to live with them.

We’ll have to see, I suppose, you just never know.

As to starting on solving things. Big brother and I did a lot of talking over there, while we waited for my return trip. We have looked at options, and of course there are some, but none of them are going to be easy, if for no other thing than that they will change life as we know it. We have some time to get it all sorted, and change is just that, change. It is only awful if you let it be, isn’t it? For now, I’m going to let everything go, my expectations, my hopes, and just see where life flows to, so to speak. I’m tired of all the holding on to the tiny little bits everywhere, and I have once again reached that point where I feel hollowed out, with nothing left to give.

I mean, as I sit here with our dogs (they were naturally ecstatic with my return) I can’t even really enjoy it, because at the moment they are a problem that needs solving, or else suffering lies in the future, and that is a most horrible feeling. But like I said, things are going to change. They have to. There is no other choice. The money we had saved so that we could hold out for the remainder of their years, is basically gone, grandpa’s pension, which helped a lot in this time where jobs are sparse, is out of the picture for the time being, and even though I would like to do magic, I can’t. In the end you can only do so much. But we’ll get back to this mess later on. Can’t think of it now. Too many immediate things to think about still.

My flight home was uneventful, thankfully, and mom picked me up. First past the insurance to arrange the paperwork, then home. Spent about an hour with the dogs outside on the old paddock. Just sat there and had them crawl all over me one after the other, rubbing their heads into whatever part of me they could find, until they finally settled down.

The rest of the day was a blur of exhaustion, and when I finally fell into bed, I passed out rather than slept, really. It has been an emotional roller coaster for sure.

Was up again just after seven to head to town for all the necessary arrangements. Though there was enough money on my creditcard when they checked for the rental, our insurance withdrew their monthly due a day later, and we had to buy me a tickets, so I had to deposit the money.

Next was a visit to grandpa’s GP, who thankfully agreed to write a note saying that grandpa was unfit to travel by plane, so maybe that will help to get a refund. Then I had to make an appointment for the Land Rover. Nothing serious, but the fuel gage doesn’t work, and it needs to be fixed. Then the other garage for the Isuzu, where I talked for a long time with our mechanic. He was shocked that the engine quit on us, and was outraged that the French mechanic had declared it “dead”. He’s pretty convinced that we should be able to get the car towed here through the insurance, regardless of what they’re saying. He had an insurance agent friend of his look at the contract and according him, they owe us the amount it takes to get it here.

So I’m going to visit a lawyer on Monday (I hate it, because except for the car they did help us out in our time of need) and see what comes from that. I mean, even if the engine is broken (we did push it hard, which supposedly isn’t good for old cars…and now, after everything, I do remember our mechanics warning us for that when we still pondered driving it to the UK. We were supposed to make plenty of stops to allow it to cool down. But in our fear for grandpa’s health, we forgot that.) we have time. We can wait until we can find a 2^nd hand engine on Ebay or some such place for a bargain and replace it. It’ll be cheaper than another car, and it will allow us to fix up, and sell the Land Rover after all.

Keep your fingers crossed. At the moment I think it is a matter of honor for our mechanic who took care of that car for 12 years. He’s been spending his afternoon and weekend looking into the matter and arranging for the lawyer.

We’ll see.

Anyway, all the arranging took a cozy six hours, meaning I was beat, and needed a nap so bad that I couldn't sleep a wink, of course. Hah.

Been busy making dog food, getting old bread and veggies from our usual spots, which is time consuming. Did manage to get to the gym last night, which was truly necessary. I pumped some serious iron, and kicked the heck out of the boxing bag, which soothed me considerably. Slept like a baby after that.

Which brings us to today. Finally some time to unwind, although the tension is still there just simmering under the surface. Have been out in the sunshine with the dogs, though, and they are extremely content, which is also soothing.

That’s about it, for now. I will keep you posted.

Reluctant hero

Song of the day: “Rawhide” from the Blues Brothers, of all things. *sigh* Don’t ask me where that came from. I don’t have a clue.

Well, well, well. Time flies, doesn’t it. Here we are again.

So let’s get started immediately. First thing up is the scan of my varicose vein, right? I had this Thursday and it was by far less painful (mentally, I mean) than my primary visit to the doctor. This particular lady didn’t know much English either, but she was friendly, in an aloof kind of way (I can imagine that when all you do all day is use an eco machine on an endless row of people, that you get a little desensitized) and didn’t get me upset in any way. Yay.

Anyway, I’d been smart this time around. I was wearing a skirt with short leggings underneath, so I didn’t have to undress. All I had to do was hike up the skirt, roll the legging out of the way and we were in business. In case you’re wondering, it is a painless procedure. Inelegant, sure, but painless.

You lay down, get a junk load of transparent goo squirted over your leg, and then lay there while the doctor begins rolling the eco thing toward your groin. When she gets there, you have to tense up your gut for a few seconds, so she can check your blood flow, or some such, and then when that is okay, she checks all the other veins down your legs and hums and nods and then tells you you can clean up.

I asked her if it was really bad, and she said not too bad…later I read the report that I’m supposed to give to my doctor, and it indicated that the varicose veins that are the problem, are superficial, not in the main veins, and that I don’t have thrombosis, so…yay!

Had to make a doctor’s appointment for Monday, and while they were making it I was, all casual like, “Hey, would it be possible to get a different doctor. Like one with more English?” It wasn’t a problem, in the end, thankfully. Apparently, when it is about medical issues, people fully understand that you do not want to mess with a foreign language. I’ll keep you posted on how it works out.

I’m planning on painting an old blanket chest, so I had to practice it. Did it on a small wooden chest, which I sprayed black first and then painted roses, buttercups and cornflowers on it. Sprayed it afterward with a transparent varnish, and voila, a nice little box that served as practice. Since it was cousin Ed’s b-day soon, I opted to put it in the mail and send it to her as a present. Two birds in one hand, and all that. Anyway, it looked a bit Hungarian for some reason, and very nice. Cousin Ed liked it, so that was good, and it made the effort not completely useless for anything other than practice. So for the chest I’m thinking a very bright turquoise, with swirls of ribbons and flowers painted on them. I’m thinking Bohemian, Russian even. I’m curious how it’s going to look in the end, I’ll take pictures and show you.

What else…well, I found my camera, finally. Cleaned it up. Figured I might as well use it this spring, maybe take some nice shots, post them on the photo blog, just for the heck of it.

Had a few dog emergencies this week. Abacara (small Golden Retriever) had a uterus infection, meaning that she needed an emergency operation, poor baby. She was a trooper through the whole thing. At the same time, Niobe, cousin Ed’s dog, got into a tussle with one of the other dogs through the gate, and got his paw seriously ripped up. Got a gazillion stitches between three toes, meaning that he is a very unhappy camper, poor baby. Lastly, Sitabah was feeling so poorly that I thought that she might have a torqued stomach, so that was another trip to the vet. Luckily that wasn’t it. Still don’t know what it was, but she did get a little better, and seems to almost be her normal self again. Lastly there is Dax, who, I think, jumped off something a little too high and got a cut in his back paw, meaning I had to bandage him up…like Niobe, who’s taking off his bandage all the time. Silly dog. Ah well, such is the habit of silly dogs. The whole thing cost a ridiculous amount of money, of course, and will undoubtedly cost more.

What else? So far no news yet about the job. Did  I mention already my first ride? With customers? Well, it could have been a disaster, but luckily it wasn’t. They were very nice people, from Orlando Florida, and they made my first ride a very pleasant one. As for the disaster…well, I was right on time to pick them up, was driving them toward the intended location when a traffic jam started. Yep. I had four paying customers in the car, when some odd hundred yards ahead of us a rather severe accident held up traffic for a whopping 40 minutes. Gawd. They were good sports about it, though. Joked that it was okay, just like home. The thing is, I could have prevented it, if I’d taken a short cut, which was, as it turned out, the thing I should have done. *sigh*

Anyway, it was a nice day, all things considered. We chatted, I did spiels the way I was supposed to, and on the overall, I rather enjoyed myself with the whole thing. Got a nice tip to boot.

Was completely and utterly stressed at the end of the day, however, partly because of the error I had made. Guess it was the previous work experience that caused it, because my new boss was really good about it. He said mistakes happen, no biggie. Had a whole burden drop off my shoulders in the end, but I was exhausted and I needed to unwind so bad that we went to the gym and I worked out for an hour and a half. Hah.

Been training a lot lately. Four to five days a week, and hour to an hour and forty five minutes per visit. T has been going there with us, which is nice. A little more motivation to keep going is never bad. Been increasing my weights steadily, some of them are now up to 140 pounds, meaning that within two months I’ve doubled most of them. Not bad. Added to that back pains are hardly a problem anymore and endurance is getting better two. I know that at the moment it seems a little obsessive, but it is helping with the stress levels really well, which is the aim.

Writing has been a steady thing too. Got the book up to 40K words now, so Yay. The character is slowly realizing that it is too hard for him to only look out for numero uno. I’ll make a hero out of him yet, despite his reluctance to do so for the first part of the story. There is quite a bit of humor in it, and I think I’ve managed to maintain the same level…at least, I hope so. Anyway, I like where the story is going so far, so keep your fingers crossed on that one.

Well, it is incredibly late now, so I better wrap this up. I’ll try not to wait so long with the next blog and add some more detail. Gotta go.

Luck?

Song of the day: “Roar” by Katy Perry, but performed by a small group of young men who covered the song some time ago. I really like that version.

Right. I’ve been remiss again, I believe. It’s been a while since I wrote, isn’t it? I think that was the 28^th, meaning more than two weeks since the last post. Bad Sammi.

Anyway, let’s get to it.

I heard from my new job the other day. For a bit I was afraid that I might need to start looking for another one, seeing as I hadn’t heard anything for such a long time, but I was assured that I have until May for my training, so I didn’t need to worry. A relief that, until today I suddenly get a message asking me if I would be willing to drive this Thursday. Hello! I can hardly say no, of course, but still, that was a little sudden. Hah. No matter though. Most likely it will be the same area as where I went along with the seasoned guide, and since I am basically just following the caravan, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. I’ll keep you posted.

In the job department things aren’t too bad at the moment. Got another small project in a store, adding more shelving, so that will add to the wallet as well. There are worries about funding, of course, but that’s in the future still, for now things are manageable.

This little job allows for some hand craft work, which is nice. Big brother has been doing some welding, while I have been sawing wooden shelves, and painting the metal braces.

The weather has been deplorable of late, except for today when the weather finally turned for the better a bit. We actually had several hours of sunshine yesterday, and most of today was fully sunny. Very nice chance, I was starting to get cabin fever again which is a problem for me lately. Very frustrating. It did allow for processing of the dog food yesterday, which was a nice way to pass the time, really. Normally grandpa does that, but he’s feeling poorly again, so we’re pitching in where he’ll let us. He’s making life so hard with all those strict rules for himself, and routines that make him stressed out. It’s the biggest hurdle he faces in a day

We did groceries, if only a little. The last couple of weeks were over budget, which simply won’t do with the little amount of money coming in. Luckily I’ve got some decent supplies going. That’s what they are for after all. It’s the sales that will save you in a tight month, right? Still, laundry detergent is expensive, fuel and all those fun little expenses. Makes a body worry, doesn’t it? Ah well, such is life.

Prepped some manuscripts for publishers, even sent out a couple more, so we’re keeping our fingers crossed for that…if you want to help out, do the same. Can’t have too many crossed fingers in that regard. Boy do we need a break in the publishing industry at the moment. *sigh*

Ah well, in the end it only comes down to finding an editor with whom we click, right? We’re weird, there should be someone out there with whom that weirdness connects, right? Some folks like weird, right? I like weird…hmmm. Okay, let’s let that go, we’ll have to wait and see.

Jelly seems to be benefiting from the Meloxicam tablets he’s getting, which is good. He was having a lot of pain, I think, probably arthritis, considering the condition of his hips. Arthur is still schlogging on, and Abacara has improved a little as well. She’s eating again, and is a little less fearful. I think she was attacked by one of the other dogs…probably Ama, who has it out for her…but she’s recovered.

A bit of bad news. Considering my varicose vein has been bothering me for a few months now, so I went to the doctor (remember the butcher I mentioned back during my head cyst days? Well, I’m just THAT lucky) and got treated to the usual. “Take of your pants, lie down….oooh, oooh, that’s bad…sit back up…I want to test your blood pressure (I assure you, his brusque behavior and me sitting there in my underpants already had it up)…too high blood pressure. No more salt. None! Take this aspirin every day, wear stocking…blood tested and a echo scan of the vein…at which point I was so disturbed I went back to the stocking bit, and asked if that was really necessary. He said it wasn’t obligatory, so the way I figure, if it was this bad, I could do without that for the next few weeks. Jeez. There were no explanations, just orders, and a vague mention of an operation…which had me ask for some clarification, which he didn’t actually give, except for saying that he would decide what to do after the tests…as if that had nothing to do with me. Gawd. I was seriously upset afterward, and completely in the dark…and two days later the blood test didn’t make it any better. The girl taking my blood wasn’t really good at it, and it took three tries, meaning I have two big bruises on the insides of my arms.

The results were startling at first, but then fully understandable. Anemia is back, darn it…not surprisingly since I ate very little meat these past few months back home, and even less of it back in the UK. Guess that is simply not possible, not with my body, anyway.

The aspirin I was prescribed to thin my blood…I was forced to quit it. (If you are male you can stop reading now for a few sentences, this is female stuff) Seriously, my monthly was scary until I stopped. Not a smart idea to take blood thinners when you already have problems with your monthlies due to anemia.

All the other things that were out of whack from the blood analysis…most of them had to do with anemia (naturally) and infection. At first I feared it had to do with the vein, I mean, I get paranoid and frightened just like the next person, but then, the day after, within six hours of a small ticklish cough, I was suffering from a full-blown cold, thank you very much. So basically the blood analysis is void (except for the anemia related stuff) and the sonogram test on Thursday I’ll have to reschedule due to the sudden work thing coming up. I am not pleased. Hah. Not that that will make any difference, but what the hey. I have decided to go to a different doctor, one who I know will at least take the time to explain things to me. If I don’t I’ll just start worrying and drive myself bonkers.

Don’t need more bonkers, not after the last couple of weeks, which were bad, stress-wise, for some unfathomable reason. Seriously, there were times when I was fighting the urge to just get into the car and start driving until I was far, far away from any and all problem pressing in on me. Wouldn’t work, of course, seeing as problems have a tendency to follow you wherever you go (them being in your mind and all) so it was a fantasy that I wallowed in occasionally. Gotta get over that. The fantasy isn’t going to do much of anything, will it?

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on the whole mess. With a little luck, you’ll get to hear me complain about an operation that can be, according to internet reports, quite excruciating…which didn’t exactly float my boat when I heard. I’m seeing a lot of Katie Melua’s “It’s only pain” in my near future. Gotta love the pain, enjoy it, embrace it…and all that shaite. Shall I stop thinking about that, maybe I’m one of the lucky ones who doesn’t feel a thing. Seeing as my luck has been sooooo good lately.

I know, sarcasm is supposed to be unbecoming, but I do like it at times. Hah.

What else. Well, the usual stuff, daily cleaning, laundry, cooking…my appetite was out of whack again after the doctor, which is not an uncommon effect. Silly man says I should lose weight (in a way that implies that I haven’t, or something) and my stomach starts to play up, and my old dysfunctional way of thinking about food just pops up, makes eating an almost impossible task. I find it scary what kind of power a doctor has in that regard, in particular since he knows nothing about me, and since his views are somewhat outdated. I mean, this guy didn’t know I have anemia and that I used to have a whacked relationship with food, back in the day. He doesn’t know that diets for me were the disaster that had me end up at the doctors’ the last time with massive deficiencies in my blood. It is my head that’s whacked out, wondering, on rare occasions if just one more diet would do the trick, while in my logical mind it was that attitude that got me into trouble in the first place.

I mean seriously, take my lousy deficiencies, and imagine me, decreasing my food intake (which is hard to keep up at any rate, since there still are times when food pretends to be my mortal enemy anyway). I might as well start taking arsenic, or something, in the end, it would have the same effect.

It’s hard. Just that lousy little remark from the doctor, undoubtedly voiced out of concern, or some such, had me miss four meals in three days, simply because I couldn’t get past it. Not good. Gotta find my zen, my zone and get back to eating properly. I can’t afford to do this sort of thing. Not anymore.

Moving on.

Did some nice reading recently, but also started on a book I’ve been asked to review. So far I’m only 20 percent into it, and although the writing is not bad, and the mistakes minor, I am having some difficulty. A little too gritty for my taste, I think…also, the subject is not really my thing. I like things pretty, if you will. I don’t mind grittiness from time to time, but there has to be some prettiness in it, some goodness. So far I haven’t found it yet.

Been diligently writing…though less than I could have, due to some edits in between of the manuscripts that we sent out. Added to that, I had to put together some query letters and a synopsis, meaning that the actual writing got interrupted. My hero is finally coming up to scratch, though, he might actually live to become a true hero after all.

Had a funny moment the other day, big brother was practicing his knife-throwing out in the old horse paddock, and he was like really proud, saying: “See that. See that!”

Me: Very good! (while cutting dog food)

Big brother: I know. It’s not every day that one manages to hit the target like that, so perfectly.

Me: Hey. Dude. Raise your hand.

Big brother: “What?” (He did, looking at me curiously, then his armpit)

Me: Bend it. (He did…none the wiser, yet)

Me: Now pat your head, and say “Good boy.” (which is when we both burst out laughing.)

Gawd, that was good. Not often that I can pull one over big brother like that.

Went to the gym four nights a week, a couple of times with our friend T, which was a wonderful change. Get to have some nice chats with her while we are out there, meaning that we don’t get so consumed by the workout that we spent an hour and a half, rather than just one hour pumping iron. Hah. Also, it’s nice to be away from the house for a bit, unwind, look at some different walls.

Boy am I looking forward to summer when I can just stay outside all day…also looking forward to picking up swimming again. Nothing like being without gravity for a bit.

Well, that’s about all I can think of at the moment. Considering that this is page four, it should be more than enough, right? Gotta go. It’s late.

Opposites

Song of the day: “Bang Bang” by Jessie J, Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande. I know. Very superficial of me, but the song has been in my head off and on, along with “Problem” by Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalia. Go figure.

So, too much time passed again, but you gotta admit that time passes so fast these days. I fully planned to post a blog after one week, and yet here we are, well past that mark. *sigh* Bad Sammie.

Right. So the last time I mentioned that I was going on my first Safari trip for my new job, which was, I am afraid to admit, close to a disaster.

Yep. The weather was horridly cloudy, misty and rainy, the guide/driver grumpy and I was feeling more than a little under the weather. The only good part was that the married couple, the customers of the day, were very, very nice, and kept things pleasant. Regretfully the route wasn’t a new one. It went from Monda, Guaro, Tolox to Alozaina and then back through the country. There were quite a few stops, regretfully a couple of them at rather modern little restaurants…as is par for the course in modern Spain, really…and by the time the air cleared and the lunch hour arrived, I made a slight error. Turns out I hadn’t heard part of the speech from the guide, talking to my new colleague, about us not sitting with the customers, (what I heard was: lunch is included for the guide, but you’ll be on your own since you’re just along for the ride…I interpreted this as that we had to pay our own lunch *sigh*), meaning that when I found the couple sitting at the corner table, looking a wee bit out of their water in the all Spanish surroundings, I joined them while they had lunch.

We were having a nice talk about their kids and work, but all this got the guide in a bit of a sniff, I fear, for when he came to take their orders for dessert, he told me, rather gruffly that he had said I wasn’t supposed to sit with the customers…which of course had the customers jump to my defense, saying that they  hadn’t minded and that we were just talking together. This made the guide a tad defensive, and say that the boss had a thing about guides eating with customers, causing more discomfort, naturally. I just apologized to all the parties involved and went outside to eat the sandwich I had taken along for lunch. Later, when I was in the ladies room, the female customer all worriedly asked me if I was alright (I bet I was blushing, even though I wasn’t feeling particularly embarrassed; I hadn’t heard. If I had, I wouldn’t have sat with them) and that they’d felt so sorry for me because of the whole incident.

But anyway, the remainder of the trip was spent in an uncomfortable silence before the other trainee and I were dropped off at the starting point, way earlier than expected. *double sigh*

As you might expect, I was a little ambivalent about the whole thing when I got another call for my second trip a few days ago.

Be that as it may, I was at the meeting place on the dot, and the Land Rover arrived, thankfully with a different guide. He was so much nicer, and relaxed, not to mention that he really took the time to explain stuff to me and the other trainee, and even though the four customers weren’t as wonderfully chatty as the ones of the previous trip, I had a very nice trip.

This one was way more elaborate and there were different off road tracks, and even an abandoned village, including two rather nice, real Spanish little restaurants, and going up into an abandoned castle.

Turns out that this guide had no idea what the “correction” I got was about. He said, if the customers like it, you join them, it’s as simple as that. So, I’ve decided to dismiss the not so nice experience as an aberration, and just see where things go from here. The trips were just complete opposites, that's what.

What else? Well, the normal stuff. I’ve been writing, naturally. The book is coming along nicely still. At the moment I am working towards the first real action scene, and I am definitely looking forward to that. The images and dialogues are constantly tumbling through my head, just waiting to get out there on the proverbial paper, so I hope that the present conversation I am working on is finished quickly. Hah.

There was the usual cleaning of our living area, naturally, laundry, as always, and a grocery shopping trip. How come you need to do groceries, anyway? Why don’t the cupboards just stay full, darn it!

Have been training at the gym quite a bit. Yep, this past week we even went four times, which was wonderful, despite the frequent soreness that results from three days in a row. Was nice that our friend T could join us, too, seeing as otherwise I might have begged off this Wednesday. Hah. Instead I did a mile and a half speed-walk on the machine, and quite a bit of weight lifting, so, yay. Will have to get myself some new boxing gloves one of these days. Got an open knuckle from the old ones, which suffered greatly from the past years, despite me not using them a lot ever since the disaster, the estate management job and my stay in the UK for three months.

Had another rush job at a local store. They needed more shelving, small and delicate for the tea section, which was what we worked on for a total of half a day, spread out over several due to the lousy weather. Had to go to the store to install the day before yesterday, but it turned out that you need special permission to do any remodeling in that place (one of those big commercial superstores that has small boutiques on the side) so we had to do it sneakily, make as little noise as possible, and be fast. Managed it too without a word from management, so that was good. And it looks nice, meaning that all’s well that ends well…or some such nonsense.

At the moment the weather is downright summery…loving it. In fact, as soon as I’m done with this blog, I’ll be on my way outside, thank you very much. The poplars are about to burst into leaf, the mimosas are blooming, so is the broom for that matter, the jasmine and basically everything spring like is out there in their full glory…no reason to stay inside.

Heard that tenant is going to have two eye operations in the near future. They are going to replace the lenses on her eyes, which should improve her sight substantially. We’re keeping our fingers crossed, despite the fact that the operation will take 15 minutes each at most.

Cousin Ed is enjoying her new job as a taxi driver for handicapped and disabled. From what I understand it was well worth the hassle of having to follow a course in driving (especially for this type of taxis) and applying for work.

Grandpa…I’m a little on the fence as to how he is doing. Physically he seems to be doing alright, but mentally he is struggling, I fear. He is very much withdrawn into himself, keeps himself in a very tight reign, until he gets completely stuck. I feel bad for him, but there isn’t anything I can do at the moment. He will have to figure things out for himself.

Most of the doggies are doing well…except Arthur and Jelly, who are clearly showing their age at the moment. The first is the worst, I fear. He’s hurting somewhere, but we can’t really locate it, added to that, he seems to be feeling addled quite often, meaning that something is off in his head. Added to that, he is leaking urine, getting stiffer in the hips, and remaining behind when normally he would follow where we go. A sad state of affairs.

Had another nice dinner with friends in town. I did the cooking, while T supplied a wonderful dessert, allowing for a nice evening of talk and laughter. Were rather late getting home.

Did a little bit of experimenting with cooking…which included a couple of really nice rice dishes. I will have to post them on the cooking blog one of these days, see what others think of it.

Well, that about sums it up for today. I got stuff to do, rubbish to gather, and a pick up to do, so…I leave you to it.