Song of te day: “Luka” by Suzanne Vega. So 80s from where I’m standing. Wonderful. There was some seriously good music in those days…and the 90s for that matter. I miss them. *sigh*
Okay, first thing first.
Abna is a no-go. Nope. I didn’t make it to the next round. (Drat) But that’s okay, because I did end up with a rather good review from Publisher’s Weekly, no less.
Here it is:
ABNA Publishers Weekly Reviewer
A lean, mean, action-adventure story set in the modern day, this manuscript is a solid blend of spy fiction and psychological thriller that follows a traditional (sometimes too familiar) structure, but hinges on an original twist. Special Agent Rory O’Donnell is sent to New Mexico to rescue Nina Hernandez -- a former U.S. operative who was once a child soldier for a militaristic cult in Latin America -- from a shady psychiatric facility where she has mysteriously surfaced. After a year of abuse and shock therapy at the hands of her captors (whose motives are one of the novel’s central mysteries), Nina has fractured into numerous personalities, each one based on a former cover identity from her spy days. The author handles Nina’s condition respectfully, without melodrama. Although Nina is a victim of immense cruelty, her various identities are so strong, protective, and highly trained that, despite her mental damage, she never comes across as weak or helpless. Thanks to its unique central conceit, excellent characterizations (each woman inside Nina’s mind is recognizable and distinct) and taut action sequences, the novel even manages to draw attention away from its disappointingly cliché elements, such as the unsurprising but uncomfortable romance that forms between O’Donnell and Nina. The cliffhanger ending is also unfortunate, as this would have worked better as a standalone novel than as the start to a series.
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I mean, seriously. Wow. This reviewer actually got it. I know what you’re thinking, there was some badly disguised criticism in there, but I am unable to see it as such. I love clichés. They’re a cliché for a reason, in particular in romance. And as for the cliffhanger, considering it could also be considered a teaser that stands loose from the story itself. Makes ya wonder if I shouldn’t have put it in there, huh? Ah well, no sense whining about spilled beans. I’m pretty darn pleased with this impartial review of the story, seeing as it makes clear that I’m not completely bonkers for loving this story. Hah.
As for the other reviews. Here are a couple from Amazon’s Expert Reviewers for the Chapters and the query letter, which were pretty awesome too:
ABNA Expert Reviewer
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
It's quite well written and the pacing is just right. There's enough action but this is not at the expense of character development. I thought the author did a credible job of setting up the scene at the beginning of the excerpt and it was vividly described without resorting to over-the-top histrionics. I was attracted to Nina Hernandez as a character. I admit it reminded me a little of characters in popular movies like The Bourne Identity and even La Femme Nikita, but the author presents an interesting spin in creating a woman trained to be an assassin with multiple personalities. This intrigues me and I would like to read further.
What aspect needs the most work?
I spotted several typos and/or errors in construction and expression so I think the work would benefit from some deft editing skills. Other than that, I think I'd like to see more character development. Having only the pitch and the excerpt at hand, it i difficult to comment further but I would love to see how Nina's character is developed as is her savior(?) Rory O'Donnell and how their relationship is explored over the course of the narrative.
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
I think this is a fairly well-written excerpt with the potential to develop into a nail-biting action thriller. The central characters are interesting and I'd really like to see how the author explores the multiple personality aspect.
ABNA Expert Reviewer
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
The prolouge is tense and exciting, you are there with Nina suffering the torture, trying to hold onto your memories, until those three terrible words are uttered. Short chapters that give you places to stop but you wat to keep reading because the story is so moving. There is enough background on Rory to make him likable.
This is just my opinion, but one of the strongest is a "single title, multifaceted, romantic psychological thriller". I am tired of trilogies and series, I want to read a book to the finale and not have to wait on the next to see what happens.
What aspect needs the most work?
I saw nothing this was the strongest and best excerpt that I have read and one that I definately want to read.
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
Excellent!
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Yay! Got my hopes up, I admit. *sigh*
And here are my last two boasts of two Amazon customers who went through the hassle of posting a review with their much appreciated opinion:
4.5 stars. Lots of action.
By Kindle-a.
I am an unrepentant action-junkie. I like few things more than a story with characters who can fight there way out of any situation. We only get a small taste of Saving Nina, but I have a feeling the full book would be one action-packed suspenseful ride.
We have the setup: a strong female character going through a torturous procedure that she tries to fight at all costs. An investigator with a dark past who is trying to make wrongs right. Then their paths intersect.
BOOM.
I want to read more.
5 stars
Start of a thriller
By Teresa McCullough
The story starts with Nina being tortured (presumably by electric shocks) to erase her sense of self. We then cut to Rory, who wishes to find her and save her. At the end of this excerpt, he does find her, but it is clear that saving her won't be easy, because she won't be cooperative.
The write-up of the story gives more information than this, but it would be better just to read the excerpt. It is well-written with occasional humor and two interesting main characters. It is hard to tell from a brief portion of a story the quality of the novel, but what we see suggests it will be riveting.
Saving Nina won't be easy or safe, but it will be interesting and suspenseful.
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How’s that, eh? I just had to boast a bit before the newness of it wears off, and I go back to my usual somewhat tedious posts. Hah.
I just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone (Abna reviewers and Amazon customers alike) for putting in the effort. And, since I’m flapping my proverbial mouth already, I might as well thank my Amazon and blog friends for rooting for me. It is appreciated.
Okay, enough about that. Let’s get down to business as usual.
The past two days. What’s been happening.
Well, there was Spanish today. Yep. Wednesday, just like the last four times. Didn’t go bad. Most of it is now done in Spanish, so I would have to say that it appears to be working. There were maybe three or four sentences that she did in English throughout our two hours of lessons.
Had my doctor’s appointment, of course. The doc isn’t happy with the fact that the spot is still pussing, so now I’m going to have to put on a cream twice a day, in order to help the healing along a little.
Got lost on Wikipedia again. Not smart when I’m supposed to be working on the computer, but I saw a fragment of a documentary at tenant’s place this morning about the Jonestown mass suicide. Yikes! Talk about freaky. What is it with cults and socialism? *shivers*
Went into the yard, of course. There were plants to check, water to give and stuff to harvest. Nice as usual. The weather today was somewhat freaky. There was a thick haze during the course of the morning, and later when we were in town, there was this massive wall of clouds stretching from east to west in a straight line. Very impressive.
Editing-wise we’ve been shlogging on…yet not today, because what with the competition being over and done with, we’re preparing Saving Nina to send out to publishing houses again. Got the letter done, and the first one will be going tonight, if all goes as planned.
Cooking had to be done, of course. Had a rather nice batch of broccoli with cauliflower and potatoes yesterday, and used the potato leftovers today with beets. Worked well, I’ll admit…not to mention that it was nice and fast.
A touch of bad news is that we had to have Nanook, our second to last husky put down yesterday. Age had caught up with her, and cancer was making her life more than a little miserable. It all just started to hurt too much for her.
Empera is still the same. Her immobility is grating on her nerves but her movements appear to be going a little easier.
Tenant is going steady. Not worse, at least, and maybe even a little bit better. Sally on the other hand is not doing well at all. She’s constantly dizzy, and even went as far as going to the hospital ER just to be sure that it was nothing serious. Blood pressure was fine, and all the other tests worked out well too, so we’re just going to have to presume that it is just part of her treatments.
Well, I’m drawing blanks, so I’m just going to leave it at this. The rest will undoubtedly just be normal chores, so consider yourself spared. Hah
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