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I can't predict when I have the time to post a new blog, but check occasionally. I'm going to try at least weekly.
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Another blog, another week...or two???

Song of the day: “Rude” by Magic, I believe.
Very cute song. It’s on the radio a lot round these parts, and I enjoy it.

So I am feeling decidedly nasty at the moment, so I’m going to completely ignore that, and focus on the positive instead. No sense in maudlin, no matter that there are parts of me that want to. Hah.

First the good news. Well, sweet news, really, is that I got a very nice present involving a short trip home so I can see my doggies. It will be Tuesday, early morning, and three days later I’ll be flying back. But not before I’ve spent two nights between my four-legged ones, which is all that matters.
It is very strange, it is not as if there is so much to go back to. I mean, most of my possessions (I know they’re not supposed to mean much in life, but losing everything except your clothes, does leave an impression) are gone, my cabin, anything about the place that was home, and yet there it is, you miss what is familiar, you yearn for that freedom that allows you to just leave those dishes when you’re in a rush, or not do that one nasty chore that one day. It’s ridiculous really. You have to do the dishes anyway, and the chores need to get done regardless, so why something inside me would make an issue of it, is just strange. I don’t get the way my own mind works sometimes, if you must know. It seems perfectly content to just wreck my day. *sigh*

But anyways, back to being positive.
I made a semi-successful foray into the city this week. Needed to get loads of bits and pieces from the DIY store, went past a local charity shop to look at furniture, only to discover that they had a very nice table, which I loved, but they were located in a part of town where you’re unable to get your car to the storefront to pick up your purchases. Insane! I gotta say that the town is a friggin’ maze. Basically any road is one way, so despite the TomTom it is very confusing, because your course keeps crisscrossing.

Anyway, I did manage to get proper jeans from another charity shop, this one for animals in distress, which looks rather nice. A very nice pair of black jeans that actually fits…looks nicely slimming, in particular since it is not one of those awful models that are way too wide at the waist and hips.
Also got a turtleneck long-sleeved T and a nice turquoise green sweater, so that makes for a successful trip.
Had wanted a body warmer, but alas there were none to my liking. Did find a carry on suitcase, which was necessary because mine is falling apart. Cost me only four bucks, so, yay!
The day I was there, was a wet one, but thankfully the three hours I spent there, it was dry enough to do what needed doing.
There was even a Lidl there, meaning I could get some stuff that’s way cheaper than the local grocery store. Yay.

I do admit to still being in somewhat of a culture shock. Everything is very different here. The country, the towns, the people…not in a bad way, mind you, just different. Like the other day in the city, there was this strange pounding in my head, and I have no idea why. Guess it takes getting used to.

As to the work…I’ve been doing some carpentry, which is always good. I like it when I’m able to keep busy, because if I can’t, then that “bugging me” bit starts again, of course. Also did some serious gardening. Trimmed bushes, took out loads of thistles, and started on a compost heap for real, so yay.

Will need to mow the lawn again, in particular before Tuesday, so I hope that the weather will cooperate and stay dry. I mean, I don’t much like the lawn mowing, except that it looks nice now that I’m getting a hang of it, after several hours I feel very “Forest Gump” and not in a good way. Hah.

As to writing…haven’t gotten around to it much lately, much to my regret. I have had ideas playing in my head lately, but none have come to the proverbial paper…mostly because I am just so friggin’ tired when I get to my room in the evening. Let’s just hope that winter will allow for some writing time…it will, because according to rumors that I am not listening too, claim that it will be dark at four soon. Aaargh.

What else? Well, I’ve been cooking. Cooked my first (successful) lamb chops. I was actually surprised that they worked out the way they did, but my clueless volunteers truly enjoyed it…according to them. Yay! Should I put it in my cooking book, do you suppose?...Nah, it just isn’t my thing, is it? Still, it was nice that it worked out.

As to the other meals. I had a pasta that worked out splendid, and a stew, not to mention a rather nice apple pie.

Actually managed a workout or two. Not full blown but enough to lubricate the muscles.
Also have been chopping wood, meaning that I’m using muscle at the very least…and added to all that, this property is huge, so I get to walk long distances, if for no other reason than me forgetting one thing or other in the work shed while I’m working on the other side of the property half the time. Hah.

Have been experiencing loads of rain here lately, and last night a proper storm. Yikes it was blowing hard! On the overall the temps are still comfortable enough that I can manage. Have had some serious beefs being cold in the evenings, so I took several baths, which is very helpful when I’m cold, I must admit. It is just that at the end of the evening my engine stops, and I don’t have any choice but to suffer through that. *sigh* I’ll have to get used to that, I guess.

Had some scares with the Knight. He had a fever again, didn’t eat, and the wounded foot he’d been walking around on for several weeks, swelled up a little again, despite the wound on it being tiny. So he’s back to two socks, the silly boy. Added to that, he had an inflamed muscle in his neck, for some peculiar reason, so that had him off his feed too. Poor baby.

Now tonight I heard that Dax isn’t feeling well. He’s listless. Shivering. Keeping his head down. They can’t figure it out, and I can’t do anything from here. Let’s hope he feels a little better tomorrow.

Well, that’s it for me for now. It’s almost midnight, and I need to get up on time tomorrow morning. Got dogs to walk, stuff to do. Ya know…

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Cowboying up

Song of the day…well, who gives a darn, there have been way too many songs in my head lately.

So, like I said the other day. I’m in the UK. More or less a favor to a friend, (while at the same time dreading small cramped spaces during winter at home) to help out for the next few months with the animals. It’s…a challenge, I’ll say that much for it.

I’ve had panic attacks, regrets, as in “What the hell did I agree to so far away from my doggies” but I have reached that point where I can say to myself, “You agreed to this. Cowboy up, learn what you can and do your best”. Nothing else to do, really. I can complain about it. I can whine. I can even cry about it. Doesn’t change anything. This is life and you have to live with the choices you make. Cause and effect, and all that stuff. Consequences are a bitch...the only advantage is that once you realize it, it allows you to resign in it...though I still miss my doggies like mad, and I really, really need those talks online at night, visuals and texts with big brother grandpa...basically everything at home. Saw Knighty boy tonight. He was looking up, somewhat lazily at the computer big brother aimed at him. He didn't recognize the tinny voice as mine, I fear.
Apparently Sitabah and Dax are doing well enough. They join big brother on his bed during the night (despite the lack of space) while the Knight will pick the corridor...with cool tiles...it's hot over there, naturally. Hard to remember...NOT.

Anyway, the trip went well enough. Was at the airport a little early, but then big brother couldn’t find a parking space, so when I was done checking in, I stood there in the terminal a long time, waiting, and then we had that whole uncomfortable goodbye, where neither of us wanted to get all emotional-like. We did the whole. You take care bit, and then parted ways…only to end up texting that we’d miss each other…what can I say, we’re a bit emotionally stinted. Hah.

Anyway, the flight had a twenty minute delay…had a nice chat with a fella from Wales, about English weather and airlines. Was fun while we stood there in the flight corridor, which was sweltering hot under the Spanish sun. They told me that I couldn’t take my carryon, because my purse was too big, jeez, but then they let me on (without paying an extra 55) anyway because I’d already paid for two suitcases, and the checkout should have mentioned it. The lady said I was supposed to leave my suitcase at the door, so they could load it into the cargo hold, but I was too scared to leave it there, since it held my computer and everything, so when the stewardess didn’t say anything I just took it on board and stowed it overhead.
We survived the flight, obviously.

The flight went well. I had two fourteen year old girls beside me, giggling and talking all the while…spent my time reading some Indie book I downloaded. Seriously, I’m d1oubting whether I will do a review on this one. It’s an endless chain-link of one-liners, repetition of names and B-movie style descriptions. It just made me laugh…in-between winces of my behind turning to wood from the three hour flight. *sigh*

My arrival in the UK was to a sky dotted with clouds…still it was relatively dry what with there being very little rain this summer. I didn’t mind that. The air was rather nippy (I came from scorching heat, remember) but I’d come prepared with flannels and a really bad raincoat. Luckily it didn’t rain. It took me a while to locate the right taxi company. Turns out that the one I was aiming for (due to the internet) went out of business 3 years ago. Hah.

Anyway, the driver was a nice fella with this massive square black beard, and he talked the entire way. It was nice. We had a compatible interest. Movies and books. By the time we arrived on location, we had given each other multiple recommendations. Was good. Kept me from thinking at least.

As to the last few days. I’ve been trying to keep busy, got reacquainted with the dogs…the majority recognized me, at least, and the rest will come in the near future…and…well, kept busy, which is my biggest priority, since whenever I don’t I’ve got a panic attack.

As for the UK…it is green, people. At least compared to Spain. Hah.
Had a shopping spree for power tools. Seriously, I can’t stand seeing someone without the proper tools to at least the basics. I mean seriously, no one wants to go and call someone to change a light bulb. It just doesn’t work. You need tools, you need supplies…that’s what I came here for.
But then, my friend Emma has been setting up house just shortly, and that is always difficult.

Will need to get better winter clothes. Also Wellies, vital here in the UK, and a gooooooood coat, which is not something one ever thinks to need in Spain. *sigh* Also a proper hat.

Anyway, I am learning to cope, and have decided to look at this as a learning period, if nothing more. Only one way to find out about the UK, right? Always was interested in that, and this is my chance. Yay!
Gotta go. It’s late.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Goodbye Bambi

Song of the day: “Follow me” by Uncle cracker.

Well, let’s start with the bad news, and take it from there, shall we. Yesterday the dreaded decision was upon us once more. We postponed it as long as possible, but Bambi, a shepherd mix that came to live with us somewhere between 2001 and 2003 (he was this adorable little puppy of about six weeks old with ears bigger than his head. The Vet had found him by the side of the road and needed a home for him. We were the suckers who went for it. Hah) and has been a pack member ever since.


Bambi 2001/2003-2013


He was strange dog, not all that attached, but last year his hearing went, and the past year his eyes were rapidly going, too, and for the past few months he seemed to have convinced himself that he had no idea who we were and would fight us ‘till the bitter end if we so much as tried to pet him. Poor thing. So much fear, which had always been a problem for him but not this much, it was sad to see…not to mention unpleasant since we had to make his fear come true.
Yesterday afternoon we gave him a big sausage filled with sleep pills, basically had to wrestle him down until big brother had him in a headlock, and put the muzzle on him. Still he tried to bite, trying to fight us off. From the way he acted, you never would have guess that he was tranked to the limit, not even when we arrived at the vet.
They were waiting for us, and did offer to do the deed in the car, if that was more comfortable for him. It wouldn’t be, so big brother, murmuring reassurances all the time, carried him inside, and set him on the exam table.
It didn’t take long. Most of him stopped within thirty seconds of the injections, it was just his heart we had to wait for. Despite it all, it was good to see him that relaxed after such a long time, albeit terribly sad.

Tenant is still at the hospital. Again, luckily she doesn’t mind being there too much, so she coping, for the moment. We had hoped to be able to take her home today, but regretfully that wasn’t possible.

But enough depressive stuff. Let’s get the past couple days sorted out so I can go to bed. I’m totally running on fumes again. Okay…Let’s do this…Gawd. I am drawing a complete blank here. For the the life of me I can’t remember what I did today and yesterday. This is so frustrating. Okay, gotta go get my diary…

Right. Did get up early, both today and yesterday, which was hard, in particular since the evening before yesterday I didn’t manage to get to bed until after two in the morning. *sigh* Changing your daily rhythm is the pits, I tell ya. For me it means headaches and exhaustion. Always. Ah well, it’s necessary, so there really isn’t anything that I can change about it.

Breakfast at the moment is done right after the morning chores over edits, before I head on out to the vet to drop poor Knight off for the day. Poor darling is spending way too much time there now. I bring him in the morning and pick him up in the evening, which is getting harder every time because he hates it so much. Seriously, this morning was worse than ever since yesterday they tried something new. They took off his collar cone and put a muzzle on him so they wouldn’t have to put bandage on him and let the wound heal faster. Didn’t work. I could have told them that, but what the hey. They went out for lunch at three, only to come back to Knight minus the muzzle, licking his paw. *sigh*
But anyway, the muzzle debacle left such an impression that he got to be downright nasty this morning when I brought him to the back where he was supposed to stay for the rest of the day. Scratched my arm open before I got firm with him and told him to lie the f**k down and be quiet. He did, looking miserable all the while. If all goes well, this was the last time he had to stay.
Poor, poor darling, in particular since today Paqui shared her concern with me about his paw. Apparently she hears a grinding sound when she handles his paw, and if she didn’t know better she’d think his bones are shattered. That would be really bad. If not impossible, since he is walking on it. I can’t imagine that it’s shattered. I mean, how would it get that way, for crying out loud?
Gawd, we’ll have to see what the x-ray says.

Did catch a semi-nap yesterday afternoon, which was, quality wise, very unimpressive. If I dropped off for more than fifteen minutes it was a lot. Didn’t help much either. Hah.

Sally is doing marginally better. She answers when you talk to her, actually interacts and listens to what is going on, and yesterday she even asked to help cutting veggies for supper. I call that progress to say the least.

Supper involved potato veggie salad both yesterday and today. It was easy, nourishing, and…well, I didn’t feel like cooking. Hah.

As for the bathroom. The boiler is hanging there, the plumbing is working, and the walls are covered. With a little luck Sally and Tenant can shower there on Monday. I gotta say it doesn’t look all that bad. Very eighties, if that means anything to you. Hah. It also has a bit of a public camping ground idea to it, which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily. I should not forget to take a few pictures.

We have once again come on a crossing point in writing, where we’re going to have to make a tough decision writing wise. Either we take a chance with a “maybe, if you do this” opportunity with a publisher, or continue working on Earth Drawn, the non-romantic novel. We’d have about six months to take a rather big risk. It is a difficult choice, in particular since it would mean fundamental changes to a story that is very close to my heart. I haven’t made a decision yet, heck, I haven’t even spoken about it with friends and family (so hard to do that because you get the “you should do it” or the “how dare they” response, which doesn’t help at all) only big brother who says we should take the chance because at least it is some feedback. But for him it is just altering stuff, while for me it is messing with one of my babies. The only way I can see myself do this is basically rewriting the story and starting the characters from scratch. I liked those characters the way they were, darn it. Innocent, kind, sweet, only to have that called unrealistic, not gritty enough, and to “unflawed”. I can get the gritty part in most cases, I like gritty as much as the next person, but that was not the point of this story.
The only plus from the whole thing is that no one has complained about my writing style, or grammar, which was always my biggest concern. This is more about taste, and what is sellable. I get it, it’s just that it’s a daunting task with absolutely not guarantees. I need to give this some serious thought before I make a decision.
I think my biggest issue is that I don’t so much want to publish “a book” but that I want to be “a writer” because I love creating worlds, any world.
*sigh*

I’ll let you know what I decide.

Finally managed to get some cleaning done in my cabin. Put away clean laundry, swept the floors, cleaned my sheets and all those little luxuries that make sleep so very pleasant. Hah.

We were out for a donation again, of course, so we were kept nicely busy loading and unloading…speaking of unloading, tomorrow is market day. Yep. Our first evening market, where I’ll be heading for the hospital as soon as we’ve got our stand set up. It’ll be late, but I don’t think Tenant will mind being kept from sleep for a bit. Let’s see how the evening goes, shall we. The weather will be pleasant, according to the predictions. We’ll see.

Well, it’s half past eleven, so it’s time for me to call it a day.