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I can't predict when I have the time to post a new blog, but check occasionally. I'm going to try at least weekly.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Emotional Roller Coaster: WHY?

No particular song in my head today…I don’t know if I should see it as a good sign or not.

The day starts off weird…or at least it feels that way. I wake up half an hour late, due to the fact that the alarm doesn’t go off…I don’t know why, I did set it last night and when I check it is in the on position, so something is definitely wrong.

I hurry on through the morning rituals and then head for the house to quickly hang the laundry. What with the storm during the night, everything is wet outside, including the laundry that failed to dry since yesterday…even under the courtyard roof.

We manage to get in a three hour edit before it is time for little brother, mom, our friend Danni and me to head on out in the truck. A long drive ahead, so we need to start out early, armed with some snacks and drinks that should tide us over.

Though we debated the issue endlessly, little brother really has strong feelings about wanting a “replacement” dog for dear Sita…I know, it is a horrible word for it, but that is what it all boils down to in the end, a dog that will fill the gap that is left by the one that passed on. It’s by no means easy, but at least a new dog will keep everyone distracted enough that we don’t feel the loss so strongly.

So we start on our way, heading land inward to a small village in the mountains where a woman lives who’s seeking a good home for her litter of nine Black Setter puppies. As many foreigners living in this particular area of Spain, she is more than happy to be able to offer one to us.

When we arrive at the small village and are led to the back through a flower-filled patio, there they are, a gorgeous bunch of puppies no more than nine weeks old. All black. All beautifully built, and wiggling like mad in their attempt to get through the light knee-high fence that keeps them contained.

It takes little brother less than five minutes to pick out a pretty little girl with a white tuft on her chest and some similarly white hairs on her paws. She’s the quiet one of the litter, who’s only interest is to snuggle up close to him while he squats down in their midst.

A done deal for everyone concerned, especially since the little girl has had two vaccinations and was thoroughly checked over by a vet just a week earlier…as her papers prove.

She’s a sweetie-now called Sita III-and on the way back, unintentionally taking the scenic route, (‘cause I took the wrong turn, hah) the poor pup got carsick. It was her first time in a car, as is often the case with those youngsters.

No one minded the scenic route, however. It gave us a most wonderful few of the Malaga area after all. It was beautiful actually. Went straight through a nature preserve, beautiful trees, rocky slopes, lots of green. I wished we could take a moment to hike there, but that will have to wait for some other time, much to my regret.

The weather was nice too, cool air, slightly clouded sky with massive fronts thumping against the sierras. Like I said: Beautiful. If I hadn’t been the driver today, I would have been taking pictures like mad. Hah.

By the time we get home, little Sita III is wagging her tail and looking at everyone with adoringly cute brown eyes. She’s already fully attached to little brother, and we leave him to introduce her to the rest of the pack while big brother, grandpa and I head out again to get more rocks.

It is such a bloody beautiful day that we decide to do two loads again, and add to the piles rapidly. It is once again close to sunset when we finish up and return home for another late dinner…more laundry precedes, of course…prepared by little sister, who spent her day well by cleaning up the kitchen.

Spaghetti and sauce; we’re so easy that way. It never goes wrong.
Though we attempt another edit, my mood has drastically changed by this point. I don’t know what the heck is going on but all of a sudden, every tiny little problem in front of me seems insurmountable.

For the first time in months, I actually have a slight panic attack again, so I decide to call it an early night and head on up to my cabin with my dogs, rather than spent a frustrating hour behind the computer.

Big brother soon follows me up and we talk for several hours, until at last the churning feeling in my gut subsides and then disappears entirely. Sometimes, a body just needs to vent a little, I guess. Nothing works better than looking at whatever problem sweeps through you, logically, and get it all settled in their right place again.

So, as a sum-up: It is a fact that for all intents and purposes it was a really good day…regretfully those pesky little “feelings” and emotions don’t necessarily agree. I can honestly say that at days like these, I wish emotions were more controllable. I mean, seriously. If feelings can’t be controlled in some shape or form, and are able to ruin a perfectly good day, what use do they have? *sigh*

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