Time for an update

Song of the day: "The sound of Music" by Julie Andrews, duh. I'm having this one in my head more often, lately.

I know, I know. It has been a terribly long time since I last posted, but life has been incredibly busy with work, with writing and finishing another book, and added to that, going to school now, due to an offer I couldn't refuse from the company I work for.

Yep, Sammy is going to school. Chef school, no less. Considering it is the basic education, meaning young kids go there too, it ain't very challenging, to say the least, but it'll be good for the future, and on the off chance that I wanna go work elsewhere in the same branch. We'll see how it goes. At least I've got some nice fellow students.

The same goes for work, by the way. I've made some nice friends among my colleagues. There are a few difficult ones too, of course, but still. Friends at work are important. Especially because you have to spend so much time with them during the course of the hours and hours that pass in a workplace. Learning new stuff, too. Some of them interesting, some of them less so. I'm quite skilled at grilling stuff on the Big Green Egg now. Haha. How weird is that, right, a vegetarian turned flexatarian, becoming skilled at grilling meats of all kinds. Hilarious. Also, I have learned how to make sushi, which is interesting, if tedious at times, especially on busy days. At least I'm now well familiar with the score at work. I can do a variety of shifts, which vary from morning, afternoon to evenings. Am primarily put in the buffet live-cooking sections, which is the funnest part, I suppose, but I do admit to being curious about the other kitchens...while dreading it a little, too. Familiarity breeds content, and all that.

The new book is done, too. Basically took a year to write it, what with work and life in general getting in the way, but whatever. A book is a book, whether it takes a month, a year or 10 years. It still needs editing, of course, and a lot of work, naturally, but it's there. I like what it became, even though the genre is by far more serious than what I/we did before, and has virtually no romance, but still the characters have become well-rounded and interesting...to me at least.

Still at the same house, thankfully. So far so good in that regard. A pleasant place, and I do hope that it stays that way, especially because I would have to move more than 70 plants now, in case of a move.

Regretfully I've been having too little time to go to the gym, lately, but I am frequently attacking my kickboxing bag that I now have hanging in the garage for this very purpose. It's good to do some kickboxing again. It definitely improves my mood on most days, which reminds me, I really should try to do some before work tomorrow, because the past four days have been dragging me down.

Had several days with my dad over the past 6 months or so, including a day at his place, cutting down diseased trees, which was lovely. Nothing feels quite as awesome as using an ax and/or chainsaw and then hauling wood with pure muscle strength. I miss outside work like that, regardless of the fact that I enjoy my job. I miss the outside, the fresh air, the green and whatnot. Working in a kitchen all day just ain't the same.

Life at the moment is far from easy, and in a way that is okay. I don't expect it to be, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't rather see it be different. I wouldn't mind life being a little more fun, despite the fact that I manage to have fun in both work and private life. Just...a little easier wouldn't got amiss. I get rather tired at times, you see. Tired from...well, everything. haha

Well, that's what it'll have to be for today. It is rather late, and I do have to work tomorrow...oh carp, it's already past midnight! Gotta go.

Moseying on...

Song of the day: “Glow” by Gavin James. Gorgeous song, really, just not a good one to have stuck in your head when you don’t know all the lyrics yet. Hah. 

So yeah, I have been slacking on the blog part, but getting used to the new job has been taking a lot of time, in particular since I am also trying to maintain some sort of regular schedule writing the new book…which is news, too, I guess. What with everything going on, and stuff with the previous book, we finally managed to dive into a  new project. Girl in the Mist has officially sold more than 5000 copies, by the way. This is awesome! 

Research has been tremendous fun. Seriously, there’s nothing like digging into psychology once more and seeing how to make my hero’s psyche work despite all his problems. You do not want to know the amount of hours I have spent online digging through psychology papers and medical texts so far. It’s fun. I am definitely thinking of getting some of Jung’s books. Fascinating stuff. The fact that we are, distantly, related, only makes it more fun, I guess.

Been writing steadily. I try to do at least 500 words per free day, but if I can 1000, or over. It brings the manuscript up to 35K words now, so we’ve got about a third of the total going now. It’s a very “thoughtful” story. A lot of it is about the inner turmoil and thoughts of the characters, and boy, one of them is seriously messed up. During the few weeks I was not working as much at the day job, I was getting a lot  more done, though. At the moment I am working quite a bit, meaning that usually I lose the first day after a row of workdays to kinda recovering. Hah. Ah well, it’ll quiet down again. We do what we can in the time we have, right? It’s all anyone can do, really.

This is going to be the first non-romance I ever wrote, which is going to be a challenge.  The story is developing nicely. Got the characters fleshed out now, backgrounds and everything. The plot has had several brainstorms and we’ve got the majority of the plot holes worked out…part of a session at the gym, where we ended up brainstorming, while pumping iron. Can’t imagine what folks must have thought of us talking so avidly while working out. Hah

Been working out quite a bit ever since we got back from the States, by the way, except for the past couple of weeks, because just a day before my birthday I got sick at heck. It was bad. I had the shivers the night before going to the company new year’s breakfast. Man I haven’t been that cold since two years ago at our previous house. My teeth were chattering for a couple of hours, my every muscle clenched, seriously, by the time I had to get up I had to pop a double dose of aspirins against aching muscles and bruised-feeling ribs. Strangely enough I wasn’t feeling all that awful after the work breakfast was over and headed to the city to pick up my friend Dee so we could go visit the Horecava. 

The Horecava is a big annual event in these parts. It’s a place where professional hospitality people come together to look at innovative new ideas, ranging from food, equipment, and everything that has anything to do with the hospitality branch. Didn’t make a full day of it, over there in Amsterdam, but Dee and I wandered about the place for a solid five hours, at least. Did taste lots of new stuff. Like black bread…didn’t like the taste of though, and after asking what they had used as coloring (octopus ink) I wasn’t surprised. I already wondered what I knew that particular taste from and once I knew, I could identify it as black pasta. * sigh * Anyways, was able to skip both lunch and dinner because of the event. 

Found a 20 bucks bike at the thrift store that I am going to fix up so I can use it at work. At the moment parking is a disaster, meaning employees have to park a 10 minute walk from the building. Gonna park my new-old bike there to save some time rather than hauling it along all the time. At the moment I am still using my good bike, which is just not smart. Poor thing gets dragged in and out all the time.

Been doing quite a bit of reading lately. I consider it research, as in checking out the competition, and it has helped me relax a little during my off days.

Dad visited a couple of times since my last blog, and I spent Christmas eve at his place. All occasions were lovely in their own way. Christmas an intimate, just direct family occasion. The first visit was basically all about going through the massive collection of pictures that we took in during our US trip. Gawd,  I took sooooo many pictures. We didn’t even get through all of them.

Last visit was the late b-day party I threw for myself. Figured, hey, I’m friggin’ forty, the big 4 0, and I’m going to bloody well celebrate it. Organized a little winter bbq thing, but regretfully four people (one couple) had to cancel last minute. Such a pity, but it was still a wonderful evening with talk, food and laughter throughout. Worked out regardless of the cancelations and ended up with enough leftovers not to have to cook for several days. Hah.

Gave myself a present of good professional chef knives, for my b-day. Only four, so far (they’re expensive!) but I thought, what the heck, I might as well start that off well. Doubted about getting a proper bag for them, but those are expensive, too, so instead I got together materials from two old purses and sewed a folding bag that does really…especially for now. I might get an actual bag in the future, but for the moment I am rather enjoying this one. Worked out perfectly!

Have scheduled a trip to Finland this spring. Best friend T is going to have her first baby, so totally want to meet her. Will only be a short 5 day trip, so nothing big, but still so cool. Will be so nice to see T again. It’s been more than a year now. And she’s have a “mini-me” to show off, which is fun. But anyways, April is still off a ways. It’ll be fun to see how big brother manages on his own at home, those few days...not that it’ll be all the different for him. He’ll be working most of it anyway. Hah.

Did quite a few cooking experiments, one of which a sauerkraut potato match with stir fry red cabbage, onion and cheese through it, which was lovely. Did devilled eggs for the party, including a dip, satay for the veggie/chicken/chickpea meat replacement sticks, and finger food. Did drink a bit too much wine at the party, especially I made a spicy fruit punch of sangria wine. Yummy.

At work I am rapidly learning all there is about barbeque. We’ve got a couple of massive “Green Eggs” to grill stuff on, and I get to work with them a lot, despite enjoying the Wok section more. Anyway, I now know how to grill Entrecote and steak rare/medium/well done, gambas, rib fingers, sweet potatoes, mushrooms and chicken satay sticks. I’m also learning all about frying fish, both salmon and white fish. I even know how to prep mussels now. Hah. Still enjoy the job, even though the days are long and I get pretty tired from it.

Been having some health problems lately. The friggin’ cold has been a pain in the behind. Had a shoulder/collarbone for a while there in the end of December. My hip has been trying to pop out of the socket a couple of times, so I am hoping to pick up some more kickboxing again to strengthen the muscles there. And my foot. Grrr. Stupid thing. The right one has been a problem again since those last weeks at the previous job. Seriously, there was so much walking going on there due to banqueting, that my old Plantars Faciitis problem came back, and it has yet to clear. Seriously, I should just get rid of that effing foot and be done with it. *wink *

We have had some deplorable weather. Lots of gray skies. Lots of rain and yes, this past week even snow and freezing temps. Before the snow it was rather lovely for almost a week, though. Not a cloud in the sky and the sun shining brightly in icy temperatures. It was lovely to have that sun, which will hopefully return soon, if only for a day or two. All this grayness makes you forget that there is such a thing as the sun…and working inside a humongous building with windows that are too far away to actually enjoy views, or daylight. * sigh*

Had a weird experience the other day where some guy, online, started chatting, wanting to know if I wanted to go on a date with him, despite us having started a “conversation” over whether or not he wanted to buy something that I was selling online. Hah. Seriously. You do not want to know the amount of indecent proposals you get when you’re online, trying to make your presence known for the purpose of a writing career. What is it with folks thinking that FB or IG is a dating app…and then with the tacky pick up lines as they try to convince you they are looking for true love, it’s just silly.

But anyway,  that about wraps it up. Nothing else of interest going on. Lots of stuff happened, I am sure, but these were things that stuck, so to speak.

Seeya.

The monster inside. Hah.

Song of the day: “Point of view” by DB Boulevard. Such an annoying song that’ll just keep tumbling through your head no matter what you do. Grrr.

So the past couple of days were absolutely friggin’ annoying, darn it. Seriously, it felt like we haven’t been home more than an hour since Monday morning and it ain’t over yet either. Yesterday morning we headed for Malaga, to the Land Rover garage with both cars and left our sweetie there for repairs once again. Seriously, I can dream the way there now, which is getting to be way too familiar if you ask me. I am not supposed to know the way to an expensive repair shop at all, but there you have it.

We came away from the experience with a five hundred bucks bill, thank you very much, and are hopeful that by now all the things that can go wrong have gone wrong. I’m not holding my breath, though…but, maybe we are luckier now that we have found a proper garage.

Yesterday afternoon, after we had dropped the car off, we spent a few hours messing around with the ongoing projects, of course. I hung the second window for tenant’s solarium so now it is all a matter of closing the rest off in the next few days. In particular since the temperatures are rather low at the moment. Seriously, if it is twelve degrees I’ll be surprised.

The doggies are not at all pleased with our frequent departures, considering they cannot stay outside (poor darlings will start shaking within half an hour) and have to stay inside, they’re grumpy as heck. Knight II for instance is eyeballing the rest while he vies for my attention and isn’t at all in agreement whenever one of the other dogs comes near. I really have to pay close attention to keep him in check.

Bommel isn’t liking the cold at all either, seeing as he took half an hour to find a soft warm spot near my feet and then flopped down to go to sleep. Poor thing is really having trouble keeping up with us, and though I would much prefer leave him comfortable and warm inside, I don’t want him to just give up and don nothing else with his day than sleep. It is a thing that happens with age. They’ll sleep more and more until at some point the body just stops. Though not the worst way to go, I would like to postpone that just a wee bit longer.

Editing: we’re working on the last dozen pages of the first edit, and big brother is halfway through the second one, so with a little luck we’ll be able to print the manuscript by the end of the week and start on the paper (last) edit. Then, maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to send it to the publisher by next month.
This is good, considering we can then continue the edit of the vampire novel and send that out a month later, at which time I can finally start writing the new story that had been bursting at the seams to come out of my head. Hah.

The first feedback from a new first-impression-reader yesterday, and after I had beaten the outraged, overly emotional monster that lurks deep inside my spirit back, I could create enough distance to really appreciate her input. I find it strange, this monster that doesn’t like to hear any criticism (be it constructive or not), how it can blind you for several hours until I can make it submit to logic. I mean really, I asked for new readers for a fresh input after all, and yet the first inclination is to feel hurt, or even angry. There are times when I think that the emotional part of me is an actual Alien that has absolutely nothing to do with my intellect. It wants to lash out at those who disagree, without pardon. I have learned to curb the monster, though, and can beat it back to where it belongs so I can actually use the thoughtful suggestions from an appreciative reader.

So, M.L., if you’re reading this (I doubt it, but what the heck) THANK YOU!

Okay, enough of the monster. What else. I should take some time to clean my cabin, but not today. First tenant’s place needs to be finished, because otherwise she has to suffer through the cold way too much, and then I’ll see if I can fit in a quick cleaning.

This morning was also busy, by the way. Big brother and I first had to head for Marbella to pick up our friend for her weekly visit, and then, after dropping her off at home, we drove straight on through to Malaga to pick up the car…ergo the five hundred bucks.

Enough for now. Time to do some serious work.

Maudlin' a little.

Song of the day: “The Great Pretender” by Queen...along with several Shakira songs of her latest She Wolf album. Things are seesawing all morning, for some peculiar reason.

Though yesterday was another genuine scorcher, 43 Celsius (110 approx), today the mercury dropped a solid twenty degrees. The thermometer showed me 23 degrees Celsius, which would have been awesome if there hadn’t been so much friggin’ moisture in the air. Seriously I’m sweating like mad. Phew.

But anyways, the floor project worked out fine. Got it all back in place before nightfall, and by the time I was ready to go to bed, big brother and grandpa helped out putting my furniture back inside. So strange to have a floor that doesn’t tilt a bit anymore…though I do need to watch out going the through the passage to my bedroom. Seeing as the sitting room is now two inches higher the lilt of the threshold has made me slam my forehead against the top two times already. Grrr.

Now, with a little luck, in a few months I’ll get a new parquet floor in both rooms, and a hardwood floor in my bathroom, which would be awesome considering the floor has been somewhat bouncy for months, hah.

The new schedule takes some getting used to (again) seeing as I’m friggin’ exhausted when I settle down for the evening to do some serious writing. Of late I’ve only been managing about two and a half pages a day, which is of course atrocious. No help for it, however. It’ll get better again, I’m sure. Besides, only twenty-five more pages and I’ll hit halfway-point. Yay.

Other than the usual stuff going on, the majority of the day was fitting the new backlights into the back of the trailer (the stupid stuff finally arrived) and they work at last. Yay. And unscrewing the woodwork of the gate so we could fit them together and add a solid two inch piece of wood between it. The heat shrunk it all rather severely, needing that thick a piece to fix the slits between them. Got half done, the other half is still waiting.

Oh yeah, for the past few days, I have been joining in on a romance forum at Amazon…or I have been lurking more or less, where a reader asked if the rather graphic (porn-like) novel she just read was the norm of this day and age. Apparently, she hadn’t read a romance novel in a few decades, so she’d come out shocked afterwards. I can’t say I’m surprised, really. Thinking back of how the romances used to be, and how the majority is now…well, it would be a tad TMY, I’m thinking. I remember it well, when I first graduated to the more graphic style: Nora Roberts, Jennifer Crusie, Linda Howard (some of my favorites). Seriously, the first time I read the last two I was reading with red ears and bug-eyes.

Now, I read, write and talk about the issue with nigh any trouble at all. It is like talking about last week’s football game (figure of speech) and that’s a big shame, I think. It has made something that should be special and wonderful (in real life and in romance novels) into something extremely average. I think we are seriously missing out on that special something if there is not some sort of change in the near future.

Because, let’s face it, by now I have become a tad immune for the whole thing. I barely notice it anymore and just skip to the pages. That is part of the problem, I think. Folks enjoy a little spice in their reading, as much as in their food. But like salt/pepper, or a painkiller for that matter, when you take too much of it, you become un-sensitized, so to speak. The more you add this particular ingredient the less likely you are to fully appreciate it. In fact, this appears to be the main source why “love scenes” are becoming so extreme. He needs to pound just a little harder, faster, she needs to writhe and gasp just a bit better. Instead of one, two or three orgasms, she needs six, and he needs to last through the night instead of a solid hour. A pity really. This way, it’ll never be enough, and the stories will need to be more extravagant in order to continue to astound. I miss those scenes where H/h meet the love of their life and consummate their commitment to each other by an act that (should) bring two people as close to one as is possible for us humans. *sigh* Color me sappy and old-fashioned, I don’t mind. Life is brutally realistic enough for me not to want to wreck fiction with it.

Well, enough philosophizing for now. I could yap on about it for days, considering this is a favorite subject of my talk group. Hah.
Which brings us to today: It’s fully cloudy, yay. I just spent the morning…oh, that reminds me. I had to get up a couple of hours early because mom and the younger sibs got stuck on the way up the drive sweep. Apparently the Land Rover refused to go up, so big brother and I had to head up there (I called him too, he knows more about low gear than I after all) in our pjs and get the car up. The trailer made it a little harder.

It took some gymnastics I’ll have you know. First I had to get in at the passenger side, sidle over the gearshift with one leg and take over the brake from mom (the drive sweep is at a 45 or so degree, you know, so the hand break had a bit of trouble). Then she had to slide out, big brother back in and take over before my leg totally cramped up from pushing at the pedal with the tips of my toes.

Suffice it to say, a few minutes later mom and the sibs could leave after all. Big brother and I debated just starting our day, but then decided to just catch another 60 z’s before tackling Sunday.
The dogs didn’t know what the heck was going on. They don’t like it when their usual schedule is disrupted and they were looking at me balefully when I returned and flopped face-down on the bed to promptly drop off to sleep.
Strange dreams, by the way. I had bought some sort of ancient mansion, and much to my delight it was still fully furnished with ancient furniture that I absolutely love. I was just about to start rearranging everything when the friggin’ alarm woke me up, darn it!

Time to get up, even though there were several voices in my head screaming for me to sleep the day away instead, do some laundry and then head down to the basin to plaster the biggest wall. It took me two solid hours, considering big brother couldn’t help. He did something with his wrist the other day, and he hasn’t been able to use it properly since. Still haven’t figured out what, by the way.
It went well though. I’m getting a hang of it again and that is always a plus. Considering the clouds were out (23 degrees, remember?) it was bliss, really. I had wanted to start again after the blog, but the sun is peeking through again, so we might resort to continuing with the gate instead.

Letting go....

Song of the day: “Butterfly” by Take That. I have absolutely no idea why this particular song is in my head, considering I don’t even like it all that much, but sometimes there is just no thought nor rhyme to my brain, I guess. I’ll just have to suffer through it.

Yeah, so the foot was excruciating yesterday. There was actually this cold drizzle feeling in it that felt like there was blood sliding down an icicle, or something. Hah. Seriously, I’m going to be very upset with the limb sometime soon, ‘cause those friggin’ cramps are only making it worse. No big surprise there, what with the two days of hauling a…ehm, behind. Strange how doing a lot of walking, jogging and carrying away from home has so many more adverse affects. I mean, you’d think that going up and the down the mountain, navigating through the pack, climbing up and down through the bushes would be more exhausting, but no, it isn’t. I know; I find it weird too. Hah.

Of course I am way too stressed of late, and I’ve gotta stop it before I start on that stupid downward slope again.
Seriously, what good do worries do? Can I change my financial status right this instant? Can I make dogs immortal? Can I make it rain? Can I decide how much the water bill will be? Can I stop the stupid foot from misbehaving? Can I stop the sun from rising in the East? I think not, so what’s the point? Why worry about it? Will it make me feel any better? Will my thinking about it all, over and over again--until I have ventured into every single aspect of it, chewed it over and regurgitated it twenty times--make me able to deal with any given situation better?
I think not. In fact, issues that I have pondered over for days, worried about, hassled over, taken apart and reassembled for any amount of time will either not happen at all, or I won’t be able to persecute a single solution I thought to have pondered about prior to the actual event.

Don’t you just hate it when that happens? You’ve thought about some dilemma for days on end. You’ve had restless nights about it, got heartburn, headache and enough tension humming through your body to mimic fifty cups of coffee, and then finally you come to peace with what appears to be the one and only solution to the problem. You resign in it, are determined to handle it just that way, and then…nothing. The moment you wrestled with in advance doesn’t turn out the way you planned it at all, thus nulling any plans you have so meticulously made. Aaaargh. It seriously POs me…even when it turns out to be nothing. All that wasted time and effort. Grrr.

So we’re back to the same old mantra (I always end up there at some point) “I don’t care about things I cannot change…and everything is changeable at some point.”
I’m letting go, throwing it all to the winds and I’m going back to enjoying the day again, thank you very much. It is a beauty after all. The sun is out, the temperature is 75 at most, and…well, it is Spain in at it’s best: spring-like weather. Well, up here on our mountain anyway. Hah.

Okay, enough maudlin, let’s get back on course.
So despite the overfull days I did manage to get some writing done (on paper anyway) bringing the story almost to one fourth, which is good. Yay. It is still shaping up nicely, thought of a few more transient characters and as long as I do the actual writing on paper prior to putting it in the computer, I can actually get some sort of flow going.

Just yesterday, while we were watering the plants (doing the whole veggie yard takes about three hours mind you) I got down a solid ten pages, half of which I already managed to put on the computer last night. It was tough, considering I was a tad tired and my eyes were at a constant six-thirty through out the procedure. Hah. In the end, I just had to give up and went to bed before I did something stupid, like drop face first on the keyboard.

Of course that just meant that them pesky worries continued right on through the night in those turmoil dreams that drive everyone bonkers with unsolvable problems that go on and on and on every time you wake up…which is often on such nights, mind you. Well screw it. I’m telling them worries to prove to me that things are going wrong, by actually going wrong, rather than worry about it before hand. When the time comes I’ll see what I’ll do, thank you very much.

Oh jeez, today’s blog really turned into a rant fest of sorts, didn’t it? Well, no matter, I’ll just “pretend” no one read it because let’s face it, I just spent an hour writing this crap down. It would be a shame to delete it all, for as far as I’m concerned. Heck! (just looked around) the dogs are looking at me as if I'm insane. Apparently I did the ranting bit out loud. (look around again) Luckily none of my audience was the human kind. Boy, that would have been embarrassing.

I better quit now before I start ranting about my emotions…I still think that they’re some sort of alien that found a way into my brain at some point and just refuses to go out. I mean seriously, emotions don’t have a clue as to what is helpful or not, they’re just screwing around for as far as I’m concerned. Really, something good happens and the emos are like “meh”, something bad happens and I suddenly have a riot going on inside me of “see, I told you everything would go wrong, why don’t you just sit down and give up right now. The world is going down the drain anyway.”

I mean really, what use does a thought like that have? Sure, the way things are going I’ll be pleasantly surprised if we’ll still be here fifty years from now, but I rather have a fun-filled and constructive fifty years than fifty crappy years where I sit in my chair, miserably waiting for the end to come. Hah.

Ooookay, and on that chipper note I’m saying hasta la vista and head on out so I can get to some serious writing again.

Talking with Whiny...it's exhausting.

Song of the day: “I come undone” by Robbie Williams, and, “I would stay” by Krezip, and “Bad day” by Daniel Powter. Yep, there were plenty of songs ghosting through my head for the past couple of days, but these are the only ones that I can actually remember. Guess I’m being a tad flighty at the moment.

Today is grocery-shopping day (yes I’m thrilled…NOT) so it’s going to be busy, without anything to show for it at the end of the day…except of course full cabinets and a fridge with actual food in it. Right now, after little sister cleaned it, it looks a little like one of those show models in the store with absolutely nothing in it. The one eggplant, leek and chunk of cheese, really don’t make for much fill. Hah.

I, of course totally freaked out this morning when I discovered that the coffee grind supply hadn’t lasted through two weeks, which means that I have to make due without my actual boost of leaded fuel this morning. It ain’t pretty, I tell you. I need at least two big mugs to get my engine started, and I’m not there yet. Frugalness only goes as far as the cigarettes at the moment, thank you very much. I’m keeping my dependency of caffeine for the time being, and what with already having saved 20 bucks on a week of not smoking, I’m thinking I’m doing an excellent job of it. Hah

Enough of that, let’s get on with the sum up of the past couple of days: Sleeping has been a bit of a trying experience still, for some peculiar reason. This night wasn’t too bad, but the one before it (I was exhausted and fell asleep while working on my computer even) I hardly slept a wink. I could get annoyed by it, seeing as I don’t appreciate feeling tired, but the way I figure, if the ol’ bod wants to throw up a fuss and suffer sleep deprivation (apparently it’s not all that bad, if it were I’d sleep) well, “have at it”. I’ll live my life and the bod can either get with it, or drop dead…in a manner of speaking…sorta. Hah.

I’ve found that having a rather stern attitude towards my body’s complaints is becoming to be effective. I mean, in the past, like from age thirteen ‘till twenty-seven I was getting only sicker, in body and mind alike. I had severe back problems, joint pains, health issues like six months of the year, bronchitis, laryngitis, diarrhea, vomiting and then getting more overweight with every passing year while popping handfuls of pills by the day.

So, two years ago I think it was, I got fed up with it all. I had a serious conversation with myself (had a mental sit-down, if you will) and decided that either this vessel, I like to call my body, was going to “cowboy the fuck up” or proof to me that things were really so bad I could drop dead at any moment. I weaned myself off medications, which the whiny part of my brain insisted I needed. I started eating for real, meaning I ate when I was hungry and ate well from all the basic food groups, and doing the things I had been dreaming of doing for the past decade or two when aches all over kept me sitting on my butt.

Gawd, it was tough, scary as all hell (got through the first year on the mantra “I don’t care about things I cannot change” with the footnote, “everything is changeable”) and a seemingly slow progress while going through it, but things are definitely looking up now. It is amazing how much the body trick you by being whiny. Most of the time (within reason of course) when my body tells me, this is too much, rest for God’s sake, it doesn’t know what the heck it’s talking about. Seriously, take lifting rocks for instance. I started with normal sized ones, forty pounds at most, but then, slowly, steadily, I would start looking at the bigger ones, and just tried…nine times I could lift those that annoying part of my brain said I couldn’t lift without pulling out my “weak” back once. The funny thing is, even the rocks I tried to lift and couldn’t just because they were too big…this is really funny. I would try, and then when I didn’t manage it, I would shake my head, pick up a smaller one and bring that away. After a few more rocks, before I managed to think about it, worry about the weight of it, I’d go back to that big rock, and lift it after all with very little extra effort. How’s that for the body acting weird? It’s screaming at me that I can’t do something (I swear, if I listened to it, I’d be on my deathbed now) when every time it turns out that I can. What’s up with that? Why has the body become so friggin’ whiny? What does it gain from it? It is almost as if I am fighting a constant battle with the enemy: “my body” because it would much rather be sick and tired in a chair, vegetating in front of the TV.

And it’s not just me, the same is happening with the sibs, who were afflicted with similar health problems for years. Heck, even little brother’s asthma is becoming a thing of the past. In the past when he got in dusty areas he’d be hacking like a donkey and turn all pale, yet now he is just working in it, cleaning it, with barely any problems whatsoever.
Gawd, if I think of how much we spent on medications in the past, painkillers, valium, flu meds, and about every nutritional supplement you can think of…why, the mere thought gives me a nightmarish feel.

I’m still not where I wanna be, (at the moment I am testing the theory of: the sky’s the limit, I’ll let you know if I ever reach it, hah) but the quality of life has definitely improved vastly.
There is eighty pounds less of me to haul around, which is a rather pleasant side effect (I actually climbed a tree the other day without hardly any effort whatsoever). I jog up the mountain these days, which means that stuff gets done faster…and lots gets done. Boy does it ever. There are days now when I stand on the new terrace under my cabin and look around, I barely recognize the place. So much has changed in just a couple of years. ‘Tis truly amazing.

I guess that fear, such as the conviction that you’re going to die the way I did, is a good thing. Taking that risk, and I mean, really take it; go for life with a full 110 percent of effort thrown into it, no matter what, is a good thing. It takes effort, and you have to push that fear brutally aside lest it immobilizes you, but I’m noticing it in every little I thing I do. Now, when I think I am unable to do something (thus feel tempted to just not try) I ask myself, and I mean literally ask: “How do you know? How do you know you can’t if you don’t try?”
Which can of course lead to entire debates with myself. *sigh*

Me: “Why don’t just try this?”
Whiny: “Because when you tried the last time, you failed. And doesn’t that feel horrible enough?”
Me: “Just because I didn’t manage it the last time, doesn’t mean I can’t do it now. And not trying it, won’t make me feel any better? This way I have a chance, at least.”
Whiny: “But it’s so much effort.”
Me: “It isn’t. If I don’t take time for stuff, I’ll have it.”
Whiny: “But sitting down and watching a nice movie is much nicer?”
Me: “Is it? Watching an adventurous life on a screen or living it? Tough choice that.”
Whiny: “But you’ll get tired and achy.”
Me: “I got tired and achy when I sat in a chair all day too. Heck, back then I was on five to six painkillers a day and I didn’t DO anything.”
Whiny: “But it isn’t fun.”
Me: “What isn’t?”
Whiny: “Mopping floors, doing laundry, cleaning up dogs crap, everything.”
Me: “Why not? That is life, isn’t it? And I can enjoy every aspect of it, if I decide to. That’s my decision, that’s my choice, and I will bloody well make it!”
Whiny: “But why? It’s easier to relax. Just rest a bit. Stop fighting me.”
Me: “But I’m not tired, and I am not fighting you. You relax, we’ll stop arguing now. I won’t do it. We’ll just sit on our butts all day, just wait and see.”
Which results in me taking my time getting to wherever I want to go and then doing it anyway before Whiny can have a say. Hah. Yes, one has to be sneaky when one deals with the monster within. Usually it isn’t worth the battle, really, so I don’t fight it. I let it go and then sneak right past the moment Whiny thinks it has won. Much easier that way, really. Before Whiny figures it out, it’ll be over and done with. Hahaha.

Talk about MPD, huh? But I’m serious, ya gotta try this sometimes when something inside you is throwing up a fuss without good ‘cause (and believe me, it can be tricky in coming up with all sorts of “valid” reasons why NOT to do something). Just take that risk of sacrificing five minutes to something that needs to be done, but you just “don’t feel like”. You might actually end up surprised.

Sometimes I think that our “safe” little world, all the safety nets that are there to catch us when we fall, the support, the comforts, and all those luxuries that we so easily take for granted in joy and misery alike, will be the death of us yet.

Taking some risks, saying yes to something that scares the hell out of you, or which that whiny part of yourself protests to, is a good thing. Think when you do something, don’t just do it by rote, whether it is a boring task, or something you really enjoy. If you don’t decide to make the effort to find pleasure in it, you’re guaranteed the result of utter crappiness. It is a valuable lesson I’ve learned.

But enough maudlin, didn’t mean to bore you there with thoughts that have been tumbling through my brain for way too long. Hah. Let’s get back to the sum up, eh?

So yeah, our tenant’s exercises are going well; her use of the cane is getting to be skilled now, and her footing is much firmer. We actually heard that back in the day, when she was still in the hospital, her doctors said that it was unlikely that she would recover (ever) from such a massive stroke. Well, she proved them wrong, didn’t she? Sure, she has her down days, don’t we all, but on the overall she is really making an effort in taking life by the horns and enjoy every second it.

My shelves are done, yay. They look beautiful, and I will post pics soon. I’m not entire sure yet, but I think all the books actually fit…I’ll have to start the statue casings that I intend to put up on the other wall, maybe add another shelve or two for books yet, but I think it will look even better by then.
I also exchanged my wooden couch with the spring love seat from our office, seeing as it is a bit smaller and will allow for space, and it looks nice. I might have to refurbish it at some point…the dogs make a mess of upholstery, of course…but I like the new look.

Of course everything is covered in blood, because Knight II is still slamming his tail to pieces. I'm serious, I recently spent three hours cleaning surfaces from splatter, and already he's "spreadin' the wealth" again. He's such and idiot; he doesn't even seem to realize that he's literally smashing the bone against the wall when he gets excited. I'd have his tail removed to save him the agony, but it seems so extreme and action. He should quiet down a little when he gets older. (I hope!)

Big brother is finally starting to think of fixing up his room too. Up until now he has been nurturing the attitude of: I need a bed for sleeping and a trunk to throw my clothes in, but other than that I’m all set. Stop bugging me about it. *chortle*
I’ll get him converted yet. That room of his gives me the jeebies every time I look past it. Wow what a mess. But there are plans for closet space now, maybe a new floor at some point, which is really starting to be necessary at this point.

And…yikes. I just yapped on for four pages, and I still have to get to my friggin messages, darn it! Okay, I’ll wrap this up then.
Writing is still going, brought the manuscript up to the full half, yay, meaning that I wrote a hundred pages in the past two and half weeks. Not bad, not bad at all what with only the few hours a day available for writing.

Well, gotta go. Need to write some letters and then prepare to go out for groceries. I’m thrilled, I tell ya. Thrilled!
Hahaha.

Picking up Yama and building, of course.

I managed to get in almost eight whole hours of sleep this night. Gawd, it felt like an eternity. I kept waking up, wondering why the friggin’ alarm didn’t go off. Hah.
My eyes don’t droop for the first three hours of the day, however, so that was definitely a plus.

Whatever dreams visited me, I don’t recall them, which is a good thing, considering that I have every intention to keep today’s Blog short again, just so I’ll be able to get another proper night’s rest.

Let’s see, I go through the morning rituals as usual. Spent at least fifteen minutes stretching the kinks from spine and limbs alike. I wonder if it is age that is playing up already. Seriously, I refuse to believe that it is normal to be so friggin’ sore in the morning that a body can hardly move. Hah.

Once I arrive at the house I start on the laundry real fast, ‘cause a friend drops in for a really short visit–half an hour tops–and then have breakfast while chatting with big brother and grandpa…as usual. Rather uninteresting, I know, but I can’t change the facts.
The most recent subject of conversation is the swine flu breaking out in Mexico City, and even Kansas, I believe.

Possible pandemics make for such intriguing discussions. What with today’s globalisation, containing such diseases is going to be darn hard. It always brings to mind those end-of-days movies, where some horrible virus has wiped out the world’s population. I mean, I can see it already. Some crazy doctor thought to see what the effect of the Spanish flu would do, when injected into a pig, and voila, a totally new disease that can be transferred to humans breaks out. Hah.
But seriously, it’s scary news for sure. However, it makes for excellent book material too, there’s no denying that little fact.

But okay, before I start wandering off to different tangents that are bound to keep me tied to my computer for another hour…or three, I’ll continue with today’s report.
Once breakfast is over, big brother and I settle behind our computers to start on today’s edit.

Though we don’t manage as many as we have on other days, we do get three more pages done…Good scene. One of the characters (the MPD kind, that is) dives headfirst into a dangerous situation, seriously pissing off the hero of the story, who is desperately trying to keep her safe. Hah.

Three hours pass with the edit, and then it’s time to head on out to resume with the wall. Lots of rocks to move again today, and rather than getting them from the rapidly dwindling pile on the path, I decide to get into the little garden. There are several handfuls that still lie about, so I start picking them up and throwing them over the wall just to be able to use them for the second wall later on.

By the time I toss the last one up, the sibs have joined me, and together we start laying the last part of the foundation while we wait for middle sister to start mixing the cement.

We had wanted to put most our efforts into the wall tonight, but since we don’t have enough sand for a full session, we decide to lay part of the path leading to the small garden that splits the walls in two. Many massive stones get put into the ground, cement welding them together before we use the last three wheelbarrows of the mix for the foundation that we already laid out.

There are several rocks that big brother and I need to put up together…they’re huge…while little sister works like mad to fix them in place with the cement.
About two hours before sundown there’s no more sand, and it is time for us to head to the village. We need to pick up Yama from the vet nonetheless.

Since we’ll be out anyway, we decide to go the long way ‘round on the way back so we can get another batch of rocks. When we arrive at the vet hospital, we have mom’s Cocker Spaniel vaccinated (he’s out of the yard a lot, so it is better to be safe than sorry) and walk to the back of the clinic where Yama is curled into the corner of her little cage.

She looks pitiful, poor thing. The vet explains that when they tried to walk her, she was so scared that she tried to run off, so they decided not to walk her for the remainder of the day. She’s so frightened that for a while she just stares at the vet, at which time I stick my hand out to her and croon soothing words at her.

At long last, when the vet takes several steps back from the cage, Yama cautiously makes her way out of the cage, squeezing herself between my squatting form and the wall before moving on to big brother who has come up behind me. Big brother is definitely the safest place to be in her opinion. Hah.

Once she has fully caught our scents, she is more than eager to depart, so while I pay the bill (yikes, three hundred bucks and change) and take the remainder of the medication she’ll need for the next week, big brother takes her out to the car where mom and grandpa are waiting for us. She went through the operation just fine and doesn’t seem to be bothered by the ordeal too much.

We depart moments later, heading towards the bumpy forest path that leads towards our usual spot of rocks. Working quickly, while mom takes Alexander (her Cocker Spaniel) and Yama out for short stroll, we fill up the truck bed to the top and head on back home.

The sibs are waiting for us when we arrive, and we rapidly unload the rocks to re-supply the pile that is getting smaller every day. We’re going to have to do two trips tomorrow if we want to continue building at the rate we’re going.

Inside the house, with the dogs going crazy over our return, along with the unfamiliar scent Yama carries, we take a moment to calm them down and then settle at the table to have dinner of the meal mom prepared before our departure. Spaghetti and tomato sauce. Nothing goes down better than carbs at the end of hard day’s work, hah.

After watching the recorded episode of the today’s “The Closer”, we switch to “Crazy in Alabama” (cute movie. I’ve seen it before but it stays fun) and switch on the computer for another quick edit. We only manage about an hour, before midnight arrives and I head up to my cabin to feed the dogs and prepare for what will hopefully be another early night.

Going a little off track today. "Writing thoughts"

It’s one of those days where nothing really interesting happened. No major disasters, nor small ones. No projects to describe, or an amazing writing efforts, just your run of the mill; I wake up, do my chore, scour the Net a little and get my butt off to school to listen to questions I already know the answers to.
Oh yeah, and we put a new seat on the toilet, which was pretty much the highlight of what occurred.
The day in one word, Boring!!!

So lets see if I can write about something a little more interesting today. Ah yes, I was having a most interesting discussion a few days ago about the finer points of writing and it let to a variety of thoughts that I am simply going to have to explain in a full Blog.

It is mostly a difference of opinion really, nothing vital, or anything, and basically it just says the same thing, but there are slight differences that give a different taste, I think.

Here’s one version, one that is grammatically correct, or so I’ve heard, and I’ve been thinking about the differences. Which one is right and which one feels right that’s what it all boils down to.

So let’s examine them:

#1.
“It was a spring afternoon in a suburb outside of Washington D.C. Late afternoon sun beat down on a trio of St. Bernards whose sudden barking disturbed the peaceful neighborhood.”

#2.
“It was a warm spring day in a nice little suburb just outside Washington DC. The late afternoon sun beat down on the peaceful neighborhood where a triplet of barking dogs disturbed the quiet of day.”

#1 admittedly it says it all perfectly, giving the details of the city, the time, the season and the situation, so what is missing. It doesn’t make you FEEL what’s happening. Yes it tells what’s happening just fine, but it comes across as a sum up. More than anything it doesn’t offer the actual experience.

So I’ll take #2 apart, and see what’s so different about it.

“It was a warm spring day” It gives a warm feeling, creating an image of something ideal and beautiful in whichever way a reader wishes to interpret it.
The way I like to describe it is a panning view of a big city (D.C. in this case) that then zooms in on some random suburban area.

“in a nice little suburb just outside Washington DC.” This gives a general location and creates an image of what the reader sees as a “nice little” suburb, whether that is the “Desperate Housewives” type or whichever the reader considers nice. Now I’ve heard that in literature one doesn’t really say “just outside” but I don’t really know why just “outside” would be any better, but still: In conversation one DOES say “Just outside” and to me that is the most important thing.

I’m not writing old fashioned literature nonetheless, I’m telling a story, much like I would if I were sitting face to face with the one interested enough to want to find out more about it.
It is more like the way a fairytale would be told, I think. Like “Somewhere, in a land far, far away a—“ well, you get my drift.
Where was I? Oh yes:
“The late afternoon sun beat down on the peaceful neighborhood where a triplet of barking dogs disturbed the quiet of day.” This shows time and creates location. A neighborhood, or a surrounding area of the place I want to take you.

Now, the problem appeared to be the triplet of dogs, this seemed to set the discussion participant aback as she wondered if that was the correct way to describe it. Participant wanted to know what kind of dogs were they? Why are they barking? Which adds a nice little bonus to me (the writer) since that means that this particular sentence makes the reader wonder what kind and why, practically forcing the reader to continue to see what happens next.
But that’s beside the point, let me explain what is:

Let’s take the movie example again and pretend we’re zooming in on a particular street, the warm and peaceful one, remember?
So the camera’s going down the street, not focusing on a particular place as of yet, when the sound of dogs barking suddenly disturbs the quiet day, without actually showing the dogs. You know the sound, and at this particular moment, you don’t really need to know what breed they are since you don’t even know whether or not those dogs are going to be important to the story.

It’s like when you’re jogging down the street and you hear some annoying little mutt bark in someone’s backyard. Are you going to check it out, or do you just imagine some indistinct breed that makes an annoying sound and move one? My point exactly.

So let’s continue with the paragraph that “created” the image, and inspired the questions.

“It was a warm spring day in a nice little suburb just outside Washington DC. The late afternoon sun beat down on the peaceful neighborhood where a triplet of barking dogs disturbed the quiet of day.”

The scene continues with this:

“It was a frequent occurrence and a cheerful sight for whoever passed bye, to see the two Golden retrievers, and their scrubby mutt companion, bounce up and down behind the white picket fence.”

This brings a few little details into focus and offers a glimpse into what is slowly turning out to be the place where I’m trying to take you.
Not much, I know, but these were the first couple of paragraphs, what else did you expect. It’s not like I can perform miracles and create magic in just a handful of words.

So this brings today’s Blog to a conclusion. It isn’t my usual type of writing through this wonderful web medium, but since I need to distract myself from the dreaded e-x-a-m-s tomorrow, I thought it did a nice job…right until I wrote this closing sentence, of course. Drat!

Wheww. Another day past.

So the morning starts reasonably on time, with the dogs causing their usual fracas and bursting outside the moment I open the door of the cabin to watch them go in the bright sunlight.

The knee is sore from the night, dogs pushing against, or standing on top of it not helping the healing process, I’m sure, still I don’t feel like taking painkillers as I go through the morning rituals, read a bit and then get dressed to head on down to the house for the day.

While grandpa joins us with the mail–one for me, yay–I find a letter from a reader who loved the W.I. Investigations–all four of them–saying that she found it amazing that there weren’t any boring parts in the story and that it was so wonderfully easy to read and so exciting at the same time, and that she couldn’t wait to read the next one(s). Wow! How’s that for a recommendation. I was titillated for sure…but then, I always am when I hear that someone loves my stories, hah. I wonder what she’ll think of “Trust Me” Said the Spy. She said she was going to read it next.

But anyway, even wonderful news like that doesn’t stop the normal chores from needing to be done, of course: There’s laundry waiting, both hanging and folding, along with boiling some chicken for Yadzia who can certainly use the extra protein now that he isn’t feeling well. That done, I go through the usual cleaning and then have a quick breakfast while chatting with big brother and grandpa.

By this time the chicken if done and I take out two parts for cooling while leaving the rest in the pot. Adding some bread, dog kibble, milk and broth, I take it to the pantry with Yadzia hot on my heels. He soon starts eating, eagerly making his way through the bowl and following me, after he’s done, to the living area where he insists on lying by my side, rather than his usual out-of-the-way place.

I make a bed for him beside my chair and set up the computer when an interesting segment starts on CNN. Apparently–I’ve heard of it before, but now new numbers have come in–the bee populations all over the globe are rapidly dying out…which, as anyone should be blatantly aware of, is disastrous.

Here everyone is worrying about the economy when something as important as the death of the insects that basically supply us with food are on the verge of going extinct. From what I managed to catch of the segment, more that 34 percent has already died, and the death rate is at, like 99 percent. Gawd. And to think that the newscasters manage to bring this kind of news with a smile, it baffles the mind.

Doesn’t anyone realize that if there are no bees to aid the produce industry there will be hardly anything left to eat? I mean, say bye bye to fruit, vegetables, and every tiny little plant that needs pollen to survive. Sure there are other insects that do the same thing, but not in those numbers. My God, this is a genuine catastrophe in the making. Heck it’s already well underway, if not close to the end, from the sound of it.
It was kind of an OMG experience that makes the economy hassles pale in comparison, but is it brought as such.

Grandpa was a farmer when he was young, and he is fully aware of what will happen if there are no more bees. He says that such a thing doesn’t only affect produce, but practically everything, throwing the natural balance totally off.

I’m not even going to begin about the climate, which will affect insects too, because that would keep us here for another sixty pages at least, so for now I’ll keep that with me. Hah.

Where was I? Oh yes…I set up my computer and after filling time with about half a page of the vampire novel, big brother and I shove our laptops side by side so we can edit “Meeting the Archers”, which has been in our planning for several weeks, but we didn’t get to it until now. We rigorously edit six pages, spending several hours with it until dinnertime arrives and the dogs need to be fed.

After we’ve had a quick dinner ourselves, of couscous stir fried with veggies–prepared by little sister–I do a quick round of the ceilings with the duster, removing newly formed spider webs before I get back to my computer and go online so I can go over today’s chats and messages now, rather than later in the evening.

While I’m busy trying to keep track of the conversations going on, “House” starts, distracting me until I finally finish up and close the laptop so I can sit back for the last part and enjoy “The Mentalist” which starts up right after.

My knee is really bothering me by this time. I don’t think that yesterday’s little exploit with the car up on the mountain was a very good idea. I pop a painkiller and place a bag of frozen peas on my knee in hopes of easing some of the discomfort.
It does, and in the end with the cold and painkiller combined I can relax and enjoy the show.

Neither big brother nor I can muster up the energy to do any more editing tonight, so instead we while away the evening in front of the TV until it’s time for me to retire.
Once I’m up in my cabin and fed the pack, including Yadzia who gets another dose of tuna through his bowl, I take the time to really examine Knight II’s tail. It’s worse than I thought. He’s got a gash of an inch and a half at least, proving that he got himself into a ruckus with one of the other dogs at some point.

Though it looks clean enough, I still apply a large amount of disinfectant and try to roll on a piece of gauze. But he removes it instantly, actually snarling at me before I soothe him with a long petting and by pushing three anti-inflammatory tablets down his throat before he knows what I’m about. Hah. You need to be sneaky sometimes.

By then the tasks of today have come to an end and I get settled on the bed with my computer for the last time today.

Strange.

It’s a sunny day, and I stand beside the car by an abandoned gas station, overlooking the sea that is a clear blue that reminds me of the many times we visited the Costa Brava. The sky matches the color, faint dark clouds breaking the horizon in two and creating an amazing contrast as I stand there, feeling the warm breeze brush over the skin of my shoulders. The sleeveless top is a concession for the sudden weather change, though Jeans still encase my legs when I turn at the sound of little brother calling out to me.
“No one’s here,” he says, eyes as blue as the sky, squinted against the glare of the sun while he joins me at the car. It’s strange that the gas station is closed, especially since it’s a place that we frequent often. Still, there’s no help for it and we’ll have to find another to get the supplies we need.
As I get in the car I notice the clouds that had been at the horizon, are rapidly crossing the sea, coming ominously closer while I shift the car in gear and pull out of the parking area so we can return to the road.
While for the first half hour it seems as if we are the only car on the road, soon more and more vehicles begin to appear. A long line following us up the mountain and in front of us, car seems to show up out of the blue.
There’s a lot of honking going on, nervous drivers making dangerous maneuvers in an attempt to mount the steep road up at a faster pace, when the busy traffic really won’t allow for it.
Wondering what the heck is going on, we’re just theorizing about that, when up ahead the traffic suddenly comes to an abrupt halt and I am just barely in time to slam a foot down on top of the breaks. The car stops just before we collide with the white car that’s pulled to a halt in front of us.
Sucking in a deep breath, little brother and I exchange wary glances before we get out to see what the people, getting out of their cars as well, moving rapidly further upwards, are yelling about.
“It’s coming! Hurry!” I hear someone shout, turning slowly to blink my surprise at the clouds that have already crossed the sea and are now only a mile or so off the coast, the loud rumble of ominous thunder rolling up the mountain which we’re ascending and actually making the ground beneath us tremble.
“Go, go, go!” a man is yelling, ushering wife and kids to more speed as they pass us by.
I’m about to say something, too, when suddenly the tut-tut-tut of my alarm shrills in my ear and morning arrives.

Bloody hell. And just when things were starting to get interesting, too. And here I was so curious as to what was going to happen when the storm hit.
I groan, covering my eyes with my arm and doing my very best to ignore the dogs bouncing around me. It’s of no use, I won’t be able to sleep again, I know, and carefully roll out of bed to release the dogs for their morning run.

Slowly I go through the morning rituals, reading a bit, cleaning some of the mess caused by the dogs during the night and then getting dressed before I head to the house in the early sunlight.

Workout day is here again, and the first thing I do is change into the appropriate outfit so I can start on the warm-ups. Ones I’ve got those over and done with, I put on my light boxing gloves, spinning the wrappings attached to them around my wrists until my hands are properly supported for the session with the boxing ball.

Conversations between grandpa and big brother distract me considerably but in the end I manage to get through the entire mix of routines before heading for the shower, taking the laundry down afterwards, and then starting on breakfast.

With the coffee brewing, and the laundry folded, we set up our computers for today’s writing, and get occasionally sidetracked by CNN’s reports and the resulting search online about the massive bailout that’s planned to save the economy.

Here I thought the money was intended to get banks and businesses out of trouble, but the items listed on the plans are astounding things, such as new furniture for government buildings, (costing half a billion, give or take. What kind of furniture are they looking for anyway?) Hybrid cars (I don’t see why, since the cars are known for not lasting long at all. Buy one now and you need to get a new one in three years, or so) and all sorts of expensive actions such as updating museums.

Now, call me stupid, but what do those actions have to do with boosting the economy, other than wasting money on temporary salaries and one-time buys? Isn’t that just like throwing all that money down the drain? What happens when its all been used? Pump in more? Seems like wasting money to me.

Now, if they were to invest in entrepreneurs with small business or people who want to start up with small businesses, and thus create jobs for other unfortunate ones while boosting the economy because people can actually spend some money once they have it, I’d say, “Excellent job” but stuff such as I mentioned above??? It’s just weird.

But I won’t start ranting today; I’ve got too little time for it. Hah.

I manage to write about one page of the vampire thriller, but feel too restless to get any serious work done. I go through the messages for a bit, along with the forums, but still there’s an itch I cannot scratch, so with little sister cooking today’s dinner, I shut down the computer and decide to do some cleaning instead.

Due to the rain of the past few days, a large amount of water has settled on the pantry floor and it takes me up to forty minutes to mop it all up before I tackle the bathroom, hang a batch of new laundry and finally get to dinner.

It’s good; fresh sweet veggies in salty and spicy herbs, with fried rice, baked in nuts and coconut shaving, and it goes down well, even though an hour later I’m already hungry again.

Considering that I rarely feel hungry at all, I don’t bother to fight the urge and have a couple of slices of bread to fill the gap as we watch a new episode of “The Closer” and “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”. Both are excellent episodes and I enjoy them a lot, before big brother and I decide to call it an early night so we can get up a little earlier tomorrow in hopes of getting more writing, or editing done.

Only one way to find out if we manage it, so I gather the dogs and head on up to my cabin for feeding, reading and getting online.
I get sidetracked for a bit when realizing that my own bathroom could do with some serious cleaning too, but I’ve gained at least an hour by leaving for my cabin early today, so I don’t mind this particular chore.

After putting my clean laundry in the closet, I set up the computer and get started.

Just a day

I wake up several times, but on the overall it was a good enough night, albeit a little short. There were lots of dreams, about travels from the past and present alike, creating a jumble of images in my head that I can’t even begin to unravel. A pity. It would have been nice to write another dream down on this day that will certainly seem boring.

What with the competition falling through, I take my time with the morning rituals, spending about an hour just reading (for fun), making the bed, and gathering laundry. It is then that I spend a useless fifteen minutes trying to find the key of my front door.
Sometime during yesterday morning’s release of the dogs, it got lost and I am unable to find it anywhere.

I am, of course unable to find it, so I give up and haul my laundry, computer bag, and my dogs down to the courtyard, setting it all away and then changing into my workout clothes. I certainly feel up to some exertion today, my body feels restless to say the least.

For some reason it takes up to eighty minutes to go through the routines, and I find myself enjoying the exercise that can be done in a workout top and trousers, rather than the long sleeved T that I’ve been using for the past weeks. The temperature today is actually warm, and it is invigorating.

I’m not even cold afterwards, and take my time to cool down from the workout with stretches and such before I head for the shower. Afterwards I have a light breakfast that doesn’t fall well at all, my stomach playing up once more.
With a mug of coffee I settle behind my computer and while away the last couple of hours before I have to get ready to go to town.

There’s another exchange for books (in effect reviews) waiting when I get online. I do admit to being quite curious about what the readers of the past few days think of the W.I. Investigations. Though I have heard some marvelous responses already, it’s always good to get another opinion. Hah.

In the meantime big brother is reading up on his updates about the LHC project in Cern and scoffs about the latest analysis where it is claimed that when they’re going to imitate the “Big Bang” it is PROBABLY not going to create planet gobbling black holes.

It baffles me how scientists take such risks. I mean, anyone taking such a risk would be cut off at the knees. But no, in the name of science pretty much anything goes in the end. What do we need to know about some big bang anyway? What possible good will come of using such an incredible force?
Does anyone recall the first moron thinking up the rather disastrous nuclear division? Yes, we’ve got power from it, but can anyone spell A-Bomb, radiation, nuclear waste, melt downs and God know what else? Duh! Hello! Any brain cells working over there?

Let’s theorize for a second and think what is going to happen if they don’t botch this test up and create…I don’t know, a new power source? Does anyone really think some twat isn’t going to get the brilliant idea to make some wonderful weapon of mass destruction? Don’t we know human nature a little better than that?
Like I said. It’s baffling. Does no one even remotely intelligent watch doomsday movies?

But anyways, after some chats, time has gotten away from me, and I need to hurry on up to get changed for our lessons in town. By the time I’m ready to go, and am at the verge of climbing from the porch step when a sparkle underneath it catches my eye. The key, it’s right there. Right where I SHOULD have been able to see it during my search that very morning…and didn’t. Aaaargh!

Stabbing it in my pocket, I dismount the steps, and then head for the car by the time big brother appears and joins me. With his arrival at the car we depart and start on our way to town.
We reach the school in little time and speak with our teacher for a bit, who says that it is about time for us to start on the harder courses now that we pretty much know where the computer tests “are at”.

Together we agree that if things continue the way they are, we’ll be ready for our exams mid-February, which is a reassuring thought, to say the least.
She’s in a cheerful mood today, very few students came by during the course of the day, we’re thinking. She’s joking with us, pleased with our progress, it seems, while we start doing lessons on paper once more.

The questions are insane, having absolutely nothing to do with what we’re there to learn, but we muddle through until two hours later the school is ready for closing and we need to call it a night.

On the way home, we visit the video rental store in hopes of finding “Wanted” or “Tropic Thunder” available to take home with us, but regretfully neither are is, so we head for the bazaar instead and buy a few items that we need.

By the time we get home the evening is advancing rapidly, and neither of us feels up to an editing, or writing, session at all. I’m still bit nauseous, and actually have some dry heaves, but still manage to choke down on a small dinner of yesterday’s meal.

Afterwards we check out Carla’s (orange Cocker Spaniel) foot soles, which appear to be bothering her. There appears to be some swelling, which is treatable by us. Then we haul Njanna (Golden Retriever) on the table as well, so we can check out his ear.

The poor dog has been suffering from bad ear infections for years, and while we thought that the last treatment finally had effect, we find that the ear is once again fully, and disgustingly infected. It is strange but Njanna has shown no sign at all of discomfort this time, which is why we are a bit on the late side checking out the damage.

A nasty smell comes from his ear, and for some time I keep the dog in a tight hold, so big brother can remove the puss, dirt and excessive hair for a better view. It smells awful, but most gets removed, after which we release the Retriever, so we can prepare a mix of boiled water and vinegar for proper cleaning.

That done, I spend a little while removing spider webs from walls and ceilings, and head for the courtyard to hang my laundry before I’m ready to call it a full day and start gathering up my dogs so I can take them up to my quarters.

It has started to rain, and I hurry on my way to the cabin, dispersing food for my dogs and spending half an hour of reading before I settle down for the evening and log on.

School, cleanliness and...semi-demolition.

It is pleasantly warm when I wake up this morning, the wind having died down considerably during the night, allowing the sun to warm the mountain with wonderfully bearable temperatures. This allows me to step out on my porch without huddling in my multitude of layers when I let the dogs out.

They have showed some of their annoying tendencies during the early hours of day, of course, but they aren’t making a racket for a change while I turn the key and jump away before Knight II actually plows right over me in his haste to get out of the cabin.

Bliss, it is momentarily the only thing I can feel as for the first time in days I am able to shed two of the four layers I’m wearing and move freely while going through the morning rituals.

I manage to get in a quick read before it is time for me to get dressed and head for the house dressed only in clean Jeans and a warm turtleneck sweater that keeps me just warm enough on my way down. The dogs dash into the house the moment I open the door–big brother has closed it to keep his pack from making a racket in the courtyard– and shake my head when the two packs collide and go through their morning greetings with a mix of suspicion and excitement, just the way they do every single day. You’d think they get used to it.

What with our agreement not to edit today unless we really felt inspired, I can calmly go do my workout this day, changing into my exercise clothes and putting on my usual list of music before I start my warm up.

It goes well enough, now that the main pack is still locked in the patio and in individual bedrooms, allowing me to move freely through the motions. By the time I’ve done the warm ups and move over to the punching bag, big brother has put his computer aside and is doing his own exercises while occasionally trying to have a coherent conversation with me.

With me punching the bag, and him lifting weights, it is a funny sight, to say the least.
And no matter how often I remind him that I can’t respond while I’m counting out my routines, he always forgets, throwing me off count and making me grunt my displeasure when I need to start over, just to be sure that I do them all.

When, at long last, the five-jab sequence is over and done with, I do some stretches to catch my breath and take the weights from big brother to slowly cool off. I do this only so I won’t be going through the agony of punch-soreness…which always happens if I don’t do some weightlifting afterwards.

Strange how punching works: Instead of pumping muscles it really makes them tight and wiry, which, I’ve learned, is rather painful at the end of a day.
As I sometimes describe to little sister who shows some curiosity for the workout; without weightlifting, you start to feel as if someone stabs a corkscrew between your shoulders, and turns it around full force.

Hmmm. Looking at it written down I can suddenly understand the face little sister pulled when I explained it. Hah. But anyways, watching big brother do pull-ups and knee-ups on the bar that hangs on the ceiling beside my punching bag, I can’t resist trying it out, if just once…the knee-ups at least.

I manage 8 of the reps before my hands start hurting, and grimace when I hop back down and wonder what good they’ll do if I don’t even feel my abdominal muscles while going through the motions. You’re supposed to feel them while doing this exercise, big brother proclaims, before he starts pondering the possibility that female muscles are differently aligned than those of men, and that I might be using others.
Whatever. I do know that crunches do more for me than this particular work out and proceed to go through forty of them before I consider today’s session done.

What follows is a hot shower to ease the remaining tension from my limbs, and getting dressed to have breakfast.
Working out during the summer months is a lot more pleasurable. During workout it is practically impossible to wear a lot of clothes, and though it isn’t much of a problem while actually doing it, afterwards cooling off is a tricky thing. In the summer I would just jump in the pool for cooling off, while now I need to hurry for a hot shower before I seize up completely.

I’m not really hungry today, so I only eat a small piece of bread before pouring a mug of coffee and heading to the table to set up my computer across from big brother who has settled back down again. It is late already, and the sibs are coming down the stairs by the time I open up the programs I’ll need today.

Since I’m not in the mood for editing, I decide to start on a review I promised for C.S. Marks’ “Elfhunter” and try to divide my attention between that and big brother who’s brainstorming out loud about our next vampire story project across from me.

With only occasional and absent input from me, he writes down the details, but I don’t really resurface from the task at hand until it is time to get ready to go town for our lessons.
I’ve pretty much finished the rough draft of the review by this time, and shut the computer down before I head on up to my cabin to change into different clothes.

Though today’s outfit was clean, the clothes I wear at home are remarkably different from those I wear when I need to go out. At-home-clothes usually have holes, permanent stains and actual tears in them–it is inevitable with our pack, really–and unless there are dire circumstances, I really don’t venture out into the world in them. The stares…they make a body wonder if one has grown a second head, that’s a fact.

I worry about this every once in a while, I’ll admit.
This predominant expectation of a lot of people expecting everyone to look just-so on any given day.
Sure, I get being clean, but in all honesty, minding a hole or two, and even a permanent paint stain here and there…well that’s just superficial in my estimation.

As if there aren’t more important things to consider that outside appearances.
Like manners, friendliness and overall pleasant company that is lacking more and more when I visit stores and malls. These things don’t appear to be the most important things these days, which is a shame, really. Sometimes I fear that the world’s general drive for “cleanliness”, “neatness”, “being fashionable” and overall opinion of what “isn’t done” is erasing things that are so much more important.
These days, when I see a sales clerk or even a customer walking around with actual dirty clothes I’m thinking; “Finally, someone who’s got more important things to think of than outside appearances.”

Ah well, be as that may, I change into my “presentable” clothes and move on to the car. I’m huddling in my vest once more, since a fierce wind is sweeping down the mountain once more, chilling me to the bone during the few minutes that I stand there.

It is late by the time big brother and I arrive at our school, but still there are other students there, working at the computers when we settle down for the count, and immerse ourselves in boring questions.

The tests don’t go as well as I’d hoped this time. Only one without error, today. The seven others have an average of one mistake as an hour and a half passes and we call it a night to head for the El Corte Inglés to buy a couple of headsets for our computers.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Alta, one of our Perro de Agua’s managed to find his way into my computer bag, and was blithely taking out the contents while I was immersed into one project or other and didn’t notice the infraction until he had decimated my headphones completely.
Big brother’s had developed a high buzz in the left ear, so with this in mind we bought two new ones, and then head back home.

Little sister cooked dinner while we were gone, so after greeting the jubilant dogs, I quickly wolf down a portion of the delish Asian noodle dish and start looking around the kitchen to see what can be done today.

The spice drawers! I’ve wanted to see them in place from the day we hung the top cupboards, and with middle sister’s help we start examining the way they are fastened in their previous location.

It takes some figuring, but in the end we find all the bolts and screws and take apart the top section that still hangs over the last part of the old kitchen.
Somewhere in the midst of this activity, big brother joins us, and with his help we manage to take them down for the treatment with primer and paint that will be necessary to make them match the rest of the new kitchen.

Recycling. We’ve become very good at it over the years, I’ll admit. Unless something is literally disintegrating–or close to it–in our hands we’ll reuse it, and this time is no exception. Old screws that are still useable are meticulously gathered, wood set aside of possible later use, and only the absolute worst is thrown on the rapidly growing mountain of debris the old kitchen is becoming just outside the courtyard.

Much to my disappointed, disassembling, resizing and cleaning takes so long that we don’t manage to put the spice drawers up by the time midnight is drawing scarily close. The cleanup needing to be done is daunting, and for a while we just stand there, wondering where to start now that all the counters are covered with sections, wood fragments and other stuff that has been removed.

First things first: Middle sister has taken down the section of narrow strips of wood that used to crown the old counter, and planks are a messy pile with nasty nails sticking out.

While we start removing the nails so the wood can be put into storage, little sister start cleaning the new counter, for as far as this is possible with no place to put the sections that we wish to reuse.

It takes a solid hour before we’re finally done, and utter a unified sigh of relief now that a semblance of order and neatness has returned to our kitchen.
No matter that certain areas still look like a construction site…it is that, nonetheless…things are definitely looking up as we have a short discussion about what’s up next. As soon as the last bit of the old counter is removed, I’m going to have to put in the tiles that are missing beneath that particular section. Once that is done, we’re going to have to move the twin fridge and freezer to the other side of the kitchen, and this is going to be a harrowing task to say the least.

The thought alone exhausts me, and soon thereafter I head on up to my cabin to feed the dogs, read a bit, put the finishing touches in the review and post it, before starting on my messages and writing today’s Blog.

Check, check, cheheck and check. All done for the night!

Some thoughts... and more.

Hmmm. It wasn't what I'd call a good day, though I wasn't entirely useless, either. Feeling useless would have made it worse, I'm thinking.

So here's today:

The sun is bright and shiny again when I wake, which should be a good incentive for me to feel moderately well at least... but it isn't. I’m moody, quiet and most of all tired. I hate feeling tired, especially when there is no good reason for it. I have had my share of sleep this night, and it should have sufficed to guarantee at least a semblance of a good mood. No such luck, though.

There were dreams, if I recall correctly, a jumble of "could-be-real" events and images that confuse the heck out of me when I wake up and exclaim a pained grunt when Trin Trin practically drags me off the bed in her eagerness to start the day.

After I lock the monster boxer into the small back yard behind my cabin and release the rest of the dog into the garden, I manage to get in a full fifteen minutes of reading into Elfhunter, a rather charming book that is at present keeping me entertained.

Getting dressed admittedly isn't an easy task today; Knight II is in a particularly cheerful mood for some reason, almost knocking me over several times. The big lug simply doesn't seem to understand that his 110 pounds are not designed for jumping at his toy... me in this case. He's learning though, however slowly.

Dax watches him from the safety of the bed, his expression a little weary since the pocket Beagle has been on the receiving end of being caught in the midst of Knight's bouncing often enough, and seems to silently laugh at me for struggling into my clothes.

Exercise day has arrived once more, and though I don't feel like it at all, I struggle through, just barely. What with the weather having warmed ever so slightly perspiration is dripping liberally off my nose at the end, making me feel somewhat pleased that the effort isn't for nothing.

Laundry's next. Yesterday's batch nice and dry, allowing for plenty of space for the new, as I try to divert my attention between the clothes and Knight, who seems to find it humorous to grab any given item I try to hang, and tugs it away. It isn’t until I tug at his leash several times that he finally calms down enough to just sit down and watch me with those big brown eyes of his.

Breakfast is a quick cut and smear by the sink and me stuffing my face while heading for the coffee machine and the vagrant coffee, big brother has just prepared.

I make my usual course across the messages and forums, my eyes half-stock once again -I don't know what the heck is wrong with me, but for the past few days, half-stock seems to be inevitable- and finally resume my foray into the alien world of the Ashtah-Mahk.

Only a couple of pages get written, my level of focus down to sixty percent at most. I'm dawdling with the story, I know, it is a most annoying time when I'm trying to create a bridge of momentary peace in a manuscript, before the action takes over once again.

My head is flighty today, for some reason. Not a single thought -except for those I don’t want to have- sticking long enough for closer examination. I hate it when that happens. It removes my drive and makes me think that everything I write down is bloody awful.

I yawn myself sore today, that's a fact. And by the time the dogs are fed and yesterday's stir-fry is reheated for consumption, I'm so tired, I nod off in my chair again.
Feeling remarkably better after maybe an hour of dreamless sleep, I surmise that my state of mind might very well be a result of doing too much, these past few months. Pressure of responsibilities, chores and projects, just getting to be too demanding for a bit.

”The Day After Tomorrow” is on TV tonight. Though I don't particularly "like" the movie, I do find the idea of it intriguing. It always makes me wonder about the numerous reports I've read and heard over the years, concerning our environment, and how the scientific predictions made in the past, turn out to be much sooner than claimed.

By this time I'm of the opinion that when such scientist claim that some drastic change is going to occur at the end of the century or within fifty years, that number can easily be cut down to at least a third of that time span.

Though I know it isn't a laughing matter, what with natural disasters all over the globe, it IS rather funny, in an unfunny sort of way.
In commercials and adds, consumers are being educated about how they can save energy and natural recourses, while cities grow constantly, lighting up streets that haven't been build yet and practically deserted areas, wasting that precious energy for no other reason than esthetics, while the average consumer should turn off the lights in rooms that aren't being used.

Take the valley below our mountain, for instance. What with the economy having bloomed for many years, streets were made with lanterns placed for miles into intricate patterns, dotting the hills with lights at night, and for what? Prettiness?
And then they say a 40-watt light bulb is going to make a difference?
Seriously, if it weren't so damn sad, it would crack me up.

But enough about this subject, it depresses me to think about stupidity such as this.

When nothing of interest is to be seen on any of the numerous channels that enrich our TV, the sibs and I decide to put on Michael Bay's "The Island" for our viewing pleasure. Not much liking the idea of just sitting there, wasting time, I take out the paint roller and prime the two drawers that still await treatment.

Whenever my mind is as fuzzy as it appears to be these days, I find keeping myself busy is the best way to fight it... even when gathering up the energy to actually do something seems a barely surmountable effort... and feel quite pleased when I declare the two done and clean up to start preparing to go to my cabin for the night.

First I need to give Trin Trin her injection, though.
Leishmania (aka sandfly) reared its ugly head again several months ago, so now she is going through her second course of the treatment that consists of an injection every other day, along with a daily pill.

While I take the monster boxer into a headlock one of the sibs quickly injects the stuff into her skin, leaving Trin Trin jubilant by the time we get to my place and disperse dry dog food for my fickle pack. For some reason they don’t eat well enough while the rest of the dogs are being fed, so this little extra is part of the daily routine for me as much as my dogs.
Already, after only one course and half of Trin Trin’s treatment, her skin is starting to look better. The shine on her fur is returning, and the small, infected areas all over her body are disappearing.

Leishmania is a big problem for animals over here. A nasty virus spread by mosquitoes, and the cause of numerous diseases for pets since it damages the immune system rather badly. I personally have four dogs with the virus, but on the total of our pack of almost a hundred, at least fifteen dogs suffer from it, needing frequent medication that keeps the problems in check rather than cure it completely.

They cope, though, staying in our presence happy as you please. As long as the medicines work and the disease does not take over, we manage to deal with it well enough.

As usual the day has come to an end, the wind rolling down the mountain like powerful waves that blow against my cabin, and I'm still relatively early, allowing for perhaps a few hours more sleep, and hopefully a better day tomorrow.

Thoughts. What else?

The day started bright and shiny, the sun having chased away the seemingly perpetual clouds that have hung over our mountain for the past week, and giving a vibrant glitter to everything around me when I wake up and let the dogs out.

They are exulting from the sudden change in weather, and for a while Chaos, the Basset, actually settles in a warm patch on my porch, enjoying the downpour of light.
The other dogs rough house about a bit, with Bommel my senior Bobtail watching lazily from the open door until I am finally ready to go down to the main house.

Though I am still somewhat tired, the complete exhaustion of yesterday has disappeared, leaving me actually cheered with the thought of my upcoming exercise for today. My muscles feel sore from the day before yesterday, but warming up I can feel the blood starting to pump through my veins, easing most of the tension that has settled in after the last time.

My usual selection of music gets turned up. The latest Enrique tunes do marvelous for a proper rhythm to bounce around on and pounce the boxing bag.
Forty minutes later, two-hundred, forty kicks, endless slides followed by crunches and push-ups ready done, I'm sweating like mad and hurry towards the shower to warm my skin and wash off the day's perspiration.

What follows is taking down and hanging an enormous amount of laundry, which has piled up during the past few days of incessant rain. It's a pleasant day for laundry, though. The sun shining through the openings of the courtyard roof and a gentle breeze playing with the few remaining leaves that still crown the battered trees all around. The fresh scent of clean nature is invigorating

I feel inspired when big brother comes down and decides to start working on my Sci-Fi Fantasy "Escape" with more enthusiasm than I'd anticipated. He's actually so pleased with the story that I decide to continue working on the sequel of this alien species fighting for survival in the wide galaxy, rather than pour myself into more editing, as was planned.

I manage a wonderful total of four pages in just a few hours, giving me a certain sense of accomplishment, the way successful writing always does. But enough about my day, more important things have occurred on this early October date, and for a moment I want to ponder it and see where my thoughts will lead me.

Apparently it was a historical day today. The first black (well, half black anyways) president in the United States was elected and from what I understand the world cheers.
I don't really understand the fuss, in all honesty. He is human, nonetheless, and to be so exultant about the matter just because of the color of his skin seems to be somewhat... hypocritical, is the word I'm looking for, I think, when it really comes across as yet another form of discrimination, neatly wrapped in the beautiful blanket of "look how civilized Western society has become. We even have a black (half) president now."

The man could have had a purple skin for all I'm concerned if I could somehow make myself believe that he could actually go beyond human nature. Since this is unlikely, if not impossible, things will pretty much continue the way they are, if for no other reason than that human nature will always win.

But anyways, if I were to believe the news reports, the headlines and the rather exultant exclamations all over the Net, TV and whatnot, I would think that the new Messiah had arrived. And that now, that this young man, this politician, is Finally going to SAVE the world from Armageddon... or something like that.

For a moment there, while watching the cheer going on, I had to go check outside if the animals of myths and legends had sprung forth and were now roaming around creating a utopia of a world for us all.
I came back sorely disappointed. Everything looked exactly the same as it had in the days weeks and months that preceded this "glorious" day.

Whatever happened to the general belief that politicians lie, cheat and pretty much sell their souls to get elected? From what I have seen over the years in movies, media reports and the likes, politicians always rate somewhere deep down the "admirable" ladder, right alongside lawyers and car salesmen.

I've followed the entire hoopla somewhat over the months that have passed, and to actually live up to the promises made is pretty much impossible... if not unrealistic. Even if everyone gave up all of their hard earned money to taxes, in time things would be just as miserable, if not more so, in short time.

A recent study in Germany has shown that if all citizens of the world, or even the majority of it, live in relative comfort, with a quality that the average hard working citizen is used to, an entire different planet would be necessary just to be able to supply all that is needed for such a feat. Since this is highly unlikely to occur in our lifetime, and even that of our children and children's children, it is a goal that is pretty much unattainable.

It worries me somewhat that in all the excitement going on -of a new government coming to the rescue by giving the people all they need whether they be rich or poor- everyone seems to forget that socialism and even liberalism (which advocate this noble cause) aren't as successful as the optimistic folks would like to believe.

Take China, the Soviet Union, Cuba and even Korea, their communism stems from the same ideal, and yet the majority of the people suffer constantly under the guidance of a wealthy elite, with no chance of ever achieving more than what they are allowed to do.
It is a beautiful thought, but in reality only the new elite actually benefit from such a government. It starts out marvelously, money pouring into places where admittedly it is very much needed, but at some point that particular resource of taking more from the rich and giving it to the poor, depletes that spring of a very convenient well.
Thus it has always been, and this time won't be any different, I fear.

I know, liberalism and socialism (even communism) are considered two different things entirely by most, but they're really not that far apart.

I come from a country that is often heralded for it's liberal and tolerant society, but with some dread I have been observing the ongoings over there, seeing a country that did so well at the start, struggle miserably as more and more of their own traditions, culture and way of life is being sacrificed in favor of tolerance towards those who want to change it to fit their own needs.

Though I am not at all conservative by nature, I do see the use of it at times.
Conservatives set borders and are willing to defend that border against all cost to preserve their identity against those who would see it destroyed.
Liberals, or socialists if you will, don't set ANY borders. Anyone and anything is free to do as they will because no one is willing to stand up for what they believe in any more.

Admittedly there are downsides to both extremes. Conservatives tend to be overzealous in their religions and traditions, while the socialists/liberals are vastly lacking in both, believing in very little except for tolerance and equality for all.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we are not equal, and should not be basically treated as such, but in "flatlining" everything and everyone under the "rule" of equality is killing that what would make people extraordinary.

It's something like the phrase "You're special, just like the rest of us". It takes something away from the specialness we all admired so much in the past, and that is a sad thing. In this day and age being an individual, extraordinary and "special" is just another way of equalizing everything into just ordinary, until in the end anything that does not fit into a particular box is eradicated.

But I drift off the issue. As I was saying; it scares me to see how much hope is being placed in just a single man who, even if he were Superman, could never live up to all the expectations that are put on him and those that are chosen to lead such a powerful country for next four years.

He brings hope, or so I've heard on numerous occasions. Which confuses me, since this is considered to be something marvelous.

I am well aware that hope is considered to be important and basically there to sustain us through difficult times, but hope -I often think- is a sneaky thing. Hope is an inanimate, a non-active, element that really doesn't do much of anything, except give the illusion that something might change in the future.
Hope does not make a person DO anything, since hope leaves it all up to fate and does not make anyone put in an effort, when effort and dedication is that which makes any of us achieve something.
Added to that, hope can be just as easily taken away as it is given, making it rather unreliable in my estimation.

For some reason change seems to have been a big part of the political agenda too, and I wonder about it. Change was what happened when 9/11 occurred, didn't it'. The war in Iraq was change, too. The melting poles, global warming, the latest fashion trend, all those events, occurrences and trends are a constant overflow of change that no one can stop of curb. They are a very basic cause and effect, making the world around us a badly balanced scale on any given day.

Change happens every single day, but it is either ignored, cheered or despised. In the end no one really appears to like change at all and what with this latest election, I fear that those who wanted it, are actually going to get it in spades.
The only question remains; will that change be welcomed, or hated by the time the elation has settled and reality starts to make its expensive demands once more.

Only time will tell, I guess. Perhaps this new president will be grand, and perhaps he'll be as ineffective as those who went before him. The demand for a new hope will most certainly be tested through the passing of time, as change is rolling across the globe even now.

Will hope really change the course that has been set?

Let's hope so.